Tag Archives: jacksonville

  You've Got To Be Carefully Taught Nothing

Florida Wingnuts Not About To Stand For Kiddie Books About ‘Nice Muslims,’ Hell No

Well that DOES look like indoctrination
A group of Very Concerned Parents are petitioning the Duval County Public School District in Florida to remove two books from the third-grade reading list because they’re simply too Muslimy for use in a public school. The books, Nasreen’s Secret School and The Librarian of Basra, are both by Jeanette Winter, and are based on true stories from Afghanistan and Iraq, respectively. And while both books are about the value of literacy and the love of reading, some parents want them gone from the reading list and the library, thanks to an online campaign describing the books as Islamic propaganda and potentially too mature for young readers. Yeesh. And Banned Books Week isn’t even until late September. Read more on Florida Wingnuts Not About To Stand For Kiddie Books About ‘Nice Muslims,’ Hell No…
  this is why we can't have nice things

Send Us Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Mentally Ill Kentuckians: Your Florida Roundup

This story has Bearing Arms AND Baring Arms in it!
Greetings, Wonketeers, from America’s Sam’s Cola, a state so strange and wondrous that all kinds of people are just dying to move here, and then some of them die here, because they are old. One of our newest denizens is a man named Adam Horine, but for some strange reason he did not actually want to come here at all: Read more on Send Us Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Mentally Ill Kentuckians: Your Florida Roundup…
  it won’t hurt a bit we swear

Step Right Up And Get Your Vaginal Probe: Your Florida Roundup

So you guys already know how dumb Florida is. But can you imagine how dumb Florida’s community colleges are? No you cannot. Here, have a gander: Two Florida college students say they were forced to submit to vaginal probes as part of a medical training program and were threatened with blacklisting if they declined. Read more on Step Right Up And Get Your Vaginal Probe: Your Florida Roundup…
  boom flakkalaka flakkalaka flakkalaka flakka boom

Gyrocopters, Demons, And Squirrelly Motherf*ckers! Your Florida Roundup

Florida Man was fucking busy this week, you guys! Let’s dive right in. Meet Doug Hughes, Great American Hero. (Oh wait, you already have.) Mr. Doug is a dedicated public servant and self-proclaimed Showman Patriot, a 61-year-old mailman from Ruskin, Florida (no, we have no idea where that is), who decided to combat the scourge of excess campaign money (which is definitely A Thing That Deserves To Be Combatted) by hopping in his gyrocopter (A Thing That Also Apparently Exists) and flying to the nation’s Capitol. Hughes wanted to drop off a letter to each of the 535 members of Congress telling them they could just go fuck the fuck off if they didn’t want to combat corruption, just like Thomas Jefferson would … even though he was going through restricted Washington DC airspace: Read more on Gyrocopters, Demons, And Squirrelly Motherf*ckers! Your Florida Roundup…
  Bending Toward Justice

Oh How Sad, Michael Dunn Is Going To Prison For Life. Wait, Did We Say ‘Sad’?

Lucia McBath & her son, Jordan Davis (1995-20120
Michael Dunn, convicted last month for the murder of 17-year-old Jordan Davis, was sentenced today to life in prison with no chance of parole. Since prosecutors did not seek the death penalty in Dunn’s first-degree murder trial, the conviction carried a mandatory life sentence. Judge Russell Healey told the would be ground-stander: Read more on Oh How Sad, Michael Dunn Is Going To Prison For Life. Wait, Did We Say ‘Sad’?…
  Justice in the first degree

Florida Jury Finally Finds Murderer Michael Dunn Guilty Of Murder

The guy on the right? He's the murderer
In November 2012, racist scumbag Michael Dunn killed 17-year-old Jordan Davis. Dunn claimed that Davis and his friends were rudely (read: blackly) playing their music too loud, and when he ever-so-politely asked them to turn it down a bit, the poor defenseless Dunn, who was armed, was scared for his life because BLACK and also he saw a gun, except that he did not because the only gun was his. Still, being afraid for his life because BLACK, he fired off 10 rounds into the SUV of unarmed teenagers, killing Davis, and then going to a motel with his girlfriend to eat some pizza, as one does after killing a black teenager. If one is a thug and a murderer. Read more on Florida Jury Finally Finds Murderer Michael Dunn Guilty Of Murder…
  man with a gun

How Many Sociopaths Did It Take To Kill This Unarmed Black Boy? One, And That’s Not Funny

We have not been posting anything about the trial of Michael Dunn, the Responsible Gun Owner who shot 17-year-old Jordan Davis to death after an argument about loud music. Mostly because the story is depressing and really not funny. In November 2012, Dunn pulled into a Jacksonville, Florida, convenience store parking lot, got into an argument about the volume of the music coming from the stereo of an SUV parked next to him, and ended up firing 10 rounds into the side of the SUV, killing Davis, because Dunn claims he saw the kid had a gun. Which turned out not to exist. And then Dunn and his girlfriend went back to their motel, ordered pizza, got a good night’s sleep (cause shooting people is hard work) and drove home 130 miles to South Patrick Shores in Brevard County. Finally, he called police, though probably not until he made sure his socks were rolled up neatly and back in his dresser. So you can see why we have not been treating this story as Comedy Gold. But now that the testimony in the trial has wrapped up, we need to address this horrible story. Will it be funny? Haha, no! Read more on How Many Sociopaths Did It Take To Kill This Unarmed Black Boy? One, And That’s Not Funny…
  if it's too loud you're too old

‘Responsible Firearm Owner’ Stands Ground Against Music (And 17-Year-Old)

A Florida man who objected to loud music coming from a parked car let his rage go to eleven, so he shot and killed one of the teens sitting in the car. Did we mention that this happened in Florida? And that the shooter is a white gun nut and the victim was a black seventeen-year-old? So, yeah, this one seems likely to remain a local Jacksonville story, don’t you think? Read more on ‘Responsible Firearm Owner’ Stands Ground Against Music (And 17-Year-Old)…
  state legislator fever

Florida State Representative Has This Election Video Thing All Figured Out

ELECT THIS MAN NOW. Mike Weinstein knows what’s up. Music + dancing + you not doing either of those things and only appearing in Ken Burns Effect-ed old photos = landslide victory. You can also download this song for free on his website! “Free of Download song,” as it says. Except clicking that just takes you to a tiny .png image of a music note. Close enough! [Via Andrew Sullivan] Read more on Florida State Representative Has This Election Video Thing All Figured Out…
  real 'murkins

Sarah Palin Still Making People Shout Things About Obama

Here’s the latest Sarah Palin KKK rally clip from today, in Jacksonville. she mentions that Barack Obama hates the American troops for killing his Moozie friends — the Afghani children. A kindly fellow in the audience yells “TREASON!” Well that makes sense if what Sarah Palin is saying is true, and when has it ever not been? [YouTube/TPM] Read more on Sarah Palin Still Making People Shout Things About Obama…