Tag: jacksonville

Wonkagenda: Thursday, 08/04/2016

You get in here and read your newz breif, RIGHT NOW!
Something something Coppers, something something Passion

Florida Couple Will Let Cops Arrest Them Once They’re Done Boning

In Jacksonville, Florida, a couple on the run from the law -- or at least cornered by the SWAT team as they hid inside a mobile home -- decided that certain things had to be checked off the ol'...
I'm Janet! I'm an asshole!

White Republican Congresslady Has Badass Idea For Getting Rid Of Black Congresslady

Wonkers, meet a nominee for the coveted Legislative Shitmuffin Of The Year prize. Her name is Rep. Janet Adkins, and she is a Republican congresslady from Florida. Is she a asshole? Well, if she kisses her own ass with...
Well that DOES look like indoctrination

Florida Wingnuts Not About To Stand For Kiddie Books About ‘Nice Muslims,’ Hell No

A group of Very Concerned Parents are petitioning the Duval County Public School District in Florida to remove two books from the third-grade reading list because they're simply too Muslimy for use in a public school. The books, Nasreen's...
This story has Bearing Arms AND Baring Arms in it!

Send Us Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Mentally Ill Kentuckians: Your Florida Roundup

Greetings, Wonketeers, from America’s Sam’s Cola, a state so strange and wondrous that all kinds of people are just dying to move here, and then some of them die here, because they are old. One of our newest denizens...

Step Right Up And Get Your Vaginal Probe: Your Florida Roundup

So you guys already know how dumb Florida is. But can you imagine how dumb Florida’s community colleges are? No you cannot. Here, have a gander: Two Florida college students say they were forced to submit to vaginal probes as...

Gyrocopters, Demons, And Squirrelly Motherf*ckers! Your Florida Roundup

Florida Man was fucking busy this week, you guys! Let’s dive right in. Meet Doug Hughes, Great American Hero. (Oh wait, you already have.) Mr. Doug is a dedicated public servant and self-proclaimed Showman Patriot, a 61-year-old mailman from Ruskin, Florida...

Excuse Us While We F*ck This Dolphin: Your Florida Roundup

We have finally (already?) reached Peak Florida Man. Peak Florida Man, as it turns out, is a 63-year-old named Malcolm Brenner who is the subject of a new documentary examining his year-long love affair with a dolphin back in...
Lucia McBath & her son, Jordan Davis (1995-20120

Oh How Sad, Michael Dunn Is Going To Prison For Life. Wait, Did We Say ‘Sad’?

Michael Dunn, convicted last month for the murder of 17-year-old Jordan Davis, was sentenced today to life in prison with no chance of parole. Since prosecutors did not seek the death penalty in Dunn's first-degree murder trial, the conviction...
The guy on the right? He's the murderer

Florida Jury Finally Finds Murderer Michael Dunn Guilty Of Murder

In November 2012, racist scumbag Michael Dunn killed 17-year-old Jordan Davis. Dunn claimed that Davis and his friends were rudely (read: blackly) playing their music too loud, and when he ever-so-politely asked them to turn it down a bit,...

How Many Sociopaths Did It Take To Kill This Unarmed Black Boy? One, And That’s Not Funny

We have not been posting anything about the trial of Michael Dunn, the Responsible Gun Owner who shot 17-year-old Jordan Davis to death after an argument about loud music. Mostly because the story is depressing and really not funny....

‘Responsible Firearm Owner’ Stands Ground Against Music (And 17-Year-Old)

A Florida man who objected to loud music coming from a parked car let his rage go to eleven, so he shot and killed one of the teens sitting in the car. Did we mention that this happened in...

Florida State Representative Has This Election Video Thing All Figured Out

ELECT THIS MAN NOW. Mike Weinstein knows what's up. Music + dancing + you not doing either of those things and only appearing in Ken Burns Effect-ed old photos = landslide victory. You can also download this song for...

Sarah Palin Still Making People Shout Things About Obama

Here's the latest Sarah Palin KKK rally clip from today, in Jacksonville. she mentions that Barack Obama hates the American troops for killing his Moozie friends -- the Afghani children. A kindly fellow in the audience yells "TREASON!" Well...