Wonkette

Kim Eisler, one-time friend of imprisoned lobbyist Jack Abramoff, has a pretty good piece on the disgraced former power player in this month’s Washingtonian. As everything collapsed around him, Jack basically became a Scorcese character.

“We were a band of killers,” he said of his lobbying practice. “We did a lot of bad things.” He was proud of the fact that if someone got between him and the interests of his clients, he would do everything possible to destroy them.

It’s good to know that, at heart, Jack is still the guy who produced and co-wrote Red Scorpion. The guy’s got an ear for dialogue.

More fun with Jack, after the jump.

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* Heard on the Hill: Ranking Republican on the House Transportation Committee throws a tantrum over not getting a good seat at a meeting, makes all the Republicans leave… Rep. Adam Putnam, who is 12 years old, is serving reporters lots of orange juice… House Dems decide to stop calling first-termers “freshmen.” [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: White House Social Secretary Lea Berman is stepping down… What was the deal with the Baby Einstein lady at the SOTU? … Clinton BFF Stephen Spielberg is hosting a fundraiser for Barack Obama. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: No one mentioned that poor Michael J. Fox attended the SOTU… Susan Sarandon in being a big hippie shocker… Jack Abramoff’s restaurant Signatures reopened as D’Acqua on Tuesday. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Don’t ride an elevator with Rep. Joseph Crowley unless you want him to start singing at you. It happened to Jane Harman, it can happen to you too… Lincoln Chaffee found a job! [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: Bob Ney’s caricature is still on the wall at The Palm. [Politico]

Bob Ney was the Congressman from Ohio known as “Congressman A” in Jack Abramoff’s playfully Washingtonienne-esque plea agreement. Ney took a bunch of favors from Jack in exchange for supporting Jack’s clients, a process known as “democracy.” When he was ratted on, Ney blamed the whole thing on booze. Once, when we called him out on drunkenly texting journalists, his office insisted to us that Ney had merely been angry and is a bad speller. That was a lie, he was totally wasted in the middle of the day. MORE »

Liberal blogs are going crazy with joy over the utterly unsurprising snapshot of Jack Abramoff and George W. Bush that somebody posted somewhere on the Internets. MORE »

This week’s Wonk’d features at least three sightings that we actually believe happened! Plus one joke + invasive picture of some dude on the metro and one almost-plausible Mark Foley sighting. Slim pickins, but hardly anyone’s been in town for two weeks. We expect things to pick up come January, but until then, enjoy John McCain, Katherine Harris, Megyn Kendall, and a “Jack Abramoff”, after the jump.

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* Reliable Source: The Prince of Monaco is buying Warren G. Harding’s house, putting an embassy there… Rocky Mountain News Washington Correspondent wears Jack Abramoff’s suits to the White House Christmas Party. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Americans for Tax Reform send out Xmas card, include “nice” list to honor those who did the most to starve the government this year… Michael Brown raking in the dough on the speaking circuit… New restaurant to finally open at the location of Signatures. [Examiner]
* Fresh Intelligence: Chelsea Clinton has a few at NYC karaoke club, Tom Green is there for some reason. [Radar]

We haven’t checked in with journalist/gadfly Kim Eisler in a while — not since the days of Chris Matthews’ friends laughing at him — but he’s begun posting exclusive e-mails from disgraced ultra-lobbyist Jack Abramoff (in preparation for Eisler’s January Washingtonian piece on their friendship). Here are some of the gems: MORE »

• Heard on the Hill: Rep. Mark Kirk (R-Ill.) staffer demands Tel Aviv University drop a supporter of his opponent from the board, threatens “revenge”… The sign from Jack Abramoff’s restaurant Signatures finally came down. [Roll Call]

• Reliable Source: Karl Rove profile in next Vanity Fair, written by his neighbor. What you’ll learn: Karl makes coffee in a French-press… Saturday is Laura Bush’s 60th birthday. [WP]
• Yeas and Nays: AFL-CIO show poor sign-displaying skills… Star Jones campaigns for Ben Cardin… Rep. Gene Taylor (D-Miss) lost his gorilla suit in Katrina. [Examiner]

• Reliable Source: Former Solicitor General Ted Olson married some lawyer… New York company to start offering tours of DC film locations. DC Cab sadly not mentioned, but that diner where they’re mocked by the other cab company is on Florida Ave. [WP]

• Yeas and Nays: HOT. CONGRESSIONAL. CANDIDATES… Rep. Bob Inglis (R-SC) went on tv to plead for the early release of convicted crack seller Willie Mays Aikens, because he was quite good at playing baseball. [Examiner]
• Washington Whispers: Jack Abramoff has his own desk at the FBI, where he sits all day ratting on his friends. [USN&WR]

• Heard on the Hill: Ken Mehlman goes to a birthday party at the Rock and Roll Hotel, awkward time had by all. Extensive quoting of Biggie… “Rep. Henry Waxman (D-Calif.), ranking member on the Government Reform Committee, sent a letter to Mehlman on Monday asking him to ‘fess up about whether he took U2 concert tickets from Jack Abramoff“… [Roll Call]
• Yeas and Nays: Male politicians make numerous amusing grooming faux pas… “Meet the Press” producer Betsy Fischer threw a cocktail party with Dina Powell, assistant secretary for educational and cultural affairs at the State Department. Everyone in bed with everyone story #5,673. [Examiner]