Tag Archives: jabba the hutt

  someone wants the veep slot

NJ Strongman Chris Christie Will Not Share Pie with Obama or Anyone Else

Apparently since dull turd Mitt Romney’s campaign message “Comrade Barack Obama is only here to steal yer munnies” comes across like he is just some anxious unlikable rich guy worrying over his fortune, hahaha which he is, Mittens’ sweaty-shiny new campaign trail attack frog Chris Christie will polish it up with something a little bit more relatable to the oversize Republican base, like a dessert food metaphor. Ready for it? Chris Christie is not about to let Barack Obama steal his chunk of the pie, guys! Read more on NJ Strongman Chris Christie Will Not Share Pie with Obama or Anyone Else…
  big issues

Is Monstrously Obese Chris Christie Even Too Fat For Republican Voters?

Republicans are a large bunch, if you get what we mean. When Teabaggers sit around the house, they literally sit around the 3,800-square-foot foreclosed tract house, in Florida. The latest advances in physics are repeatedly tested by the makers of Hoverounds and Rascals, as the wee scooters are expected to carry ever heavier loads. So there hasn’t been a lot of political speculation regarding the Jabba the Hutt-esque physique of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. After all, if two-thirds of Americans are already overweight or obese, then it would seem Christie has a huge built-in constituency. But in an effort to avoid writing about the Wall Street protests now spreading across the nation like a Sam’s Club 12-pack of Velveeta on a Family Size sack of Tostitos in the microwave, the nation’s pundits finally had to “go there” and write about how Chris Christie is too fucking fat to be president, because he’s about to fall over and die, due to fatness. Read more on Is Monstrously Obese Chris Christie Even Too Fat For Republican Voters?…
  left tilt

Chris Christie Makes Fox News Tilt Left

Icon of personal responsibility Chris Christie paid a visit to the fiends at Fox News yesterday, and as this screenshot shows, he nearly caused the entire right-wing cable news channel to tilt left and vanish into the ether. But, sources say, the other side of the couch was secured with special ropes made from the tears of scared old white people. Read more on Chris Christie Makes Fox News Tilt Left…
  menacing fatties

Chris Christie Responds To Rampant Speculation He Is ‘Hot and Sexy’

“Wanta dah moolee-rah, Han Solo,” the Hutt said. Meanwhile, while you are transfixed by the thought of take a magic sex bus journey into those undulating folds, Chris Christie is telling lies so he too can screw the union workers of his state. Read more on Chris Christie Responds To Rampant Speculation He Is ‘Hot and Sexy’…
  psyops

Limbaugh, GOP Just Comically Walking Into Every Trap

How do you get what’s left of the Republican Party to destroy itself? It sure helps to have some self-obsessed drug-addicted sociopath like Rush Limbaugh as “leader” of the doomed wingnuts! At some point in January, the same Obama strategists who outmaneuvered the Clinton Machine and American Racism noticed that an AM radio jackass beloved by angry white guys in service trucks — who else listens to AM radio, during the workday? — was publicly wishing failure upon both the new Obama Administration and the U.S. Economy. Maybe this bloated oil bag could bring down the entire GOP! Read more on Limbaugh, GOP Just Comically Walking Into Every Trap…