Tag Archives: israel

  Here have some news n stuff

Idiot Republican Remembers Leonard Nimoy As Best Republican EVER!

What they said
For a guy who claims to be the hugest Star Trek fan in this galaxy or any other, Oregon state Rep. Bill Post is kind of a moron. After we learned last week of the death of Leonard Nimoy (not a Republican), who played the beloved (but, ahem, fictional) character of Mr. Spock (also not a Republican), Post took to the floor of the Legislature to pay tribute to an actor-slash-fictional-character who was, apparently, a better Republican than even Abraham Lincoln, St. Ronald Reagan, or Martin Luther King, Jr.: Read more on Idiot Republican Remembers Leonard Nimoy As Best Republican EVER!…
  Who's oopsing now huh?

Rick Perry Remembers All Three Of His Points, Totally Ready To Be President Now

Nailed it! Finally!
Another day at the derpapalooza that is the Conservative Political Action Conference, and Rick Perry did A Accomplishment, y’all! He walked out on that stage Friday morning, declared “On three points, we must be clear,” and proceeded to read ALL THREE POINTS from the TelePrompter without saying “oops!” even once. Suck it, you other Republicans running for president in 2016! You’re not dealing with the 2012 candidate hopped up on pain pills anymore. This is the new and improved lean, mean, INDICTED glasses-wearing machine who is ready to kick some ass and take some names in the next Republican presidential primary. Yee haw! Read more on Rick Perry Remembers All Three Of His Points, Totally Ready To Be President Now…
  How I Learned To Start Worrying Again

Arkansas State Senator: Liberals Love ISIS So Much They Don’t Even Want Nuclear War

EEEEEeeeeeeee haaaaaaaaaw
Arkansas state Sen. Jason Rapert posted an excellent idea to the Facebook for how to beat ISIS once and for all: Just nuke them! What could possibly go wrong? After all, everyone agrees that they’re evil and need to be stopped, so Let’s Drop The Big One Now! Here’s his post — or at least his original version of the post: Read more on Arkansas State Senator: Liberals Love ISIS So Much They Don’t Even Want Nuclear War…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: RNC and Hategroup AFA Might Not Heart Israel After All

He'd be easier to find if he wore a striped sweater
Rachel Maddow closed Wednesday’s show with an update to the story that got rightwing religious wacakloon Bryan Fischer fired (or at least demoted) from his job as spokesman for the American Family Association. You see, the AFA was paying for some 60 members of the Republican National Committee, including its chairman, Reince Priebus, to take a free trip to Israel, because fundagelicals just love Israel so much, what with it being an essential component of the End Times. Read more on Morning Maddow: RNC and Hategroup AFA Might Not Heart Israel After All…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Egad, The RNC Still Has A Religious Bigotry Problem? (Video)

Two very expressive letters
Rachel Maddow brings us an update on the Republican National Committee’s plans to take a free trip to Israel, paid for by the American Family Association, home of Bryan Fischer, one of the most prominent wackadoodles in rightwing media. This is sort of a perplexing choice by the RNC, given Fischer’s insistence that the U.S. Constitution applies only to Christians, and immigrants to this country should be forced to convert. The AFA “solved” that problem by firing Fischer from one of his jobs Wednesday, canning him as its “director of issues analysis” and national spokesman, but keeping him on as the host of its main radio program (and more on that in a later post). Read more on Morning Maddow: Egad, The RNC Still Has A Religious Bigotry Problem? (Video)…
  Somehow Forgot To Leave Out A Bowl Of Communion Wafers

Muslim Texans Singing (American) National Anthem Shouted Down By The *Real* Patriots

She seems nice
Thursday was “Texas Muslim Capitol Day,” an annual event held to encourage Muslim Texans to visit the state capitol in Austin and learn about state government and how to meet with lawmakers and such. Which means, of course, that a few Patriotic TexAmericans decided that the Muslims were taking over the Capitol so they can CRAM SHARIA LAW DOWN ARE THROATS!!!1!! There were angry protestors out on the statehouse lawn, and state Rep. Molly White left this important message on her FacePlaceSpace: Read more on Muslim Texans Singing (American) National Anthem Shouted Down By The *Real* Patriots…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: American Family Association Fires Most Embarrassing Hater Bryan Fischer

this one might be a problem for the GOP
Rachel Maddow had a gen-you-wine old fashioned Big News Scoop in her Wednesday show. The larger story’s a little convoluted, but the really terrific news is right up there in the headline, kids: wingnut preacher Bryan Fischer has been fired from his position as “director of issues analysis” for the American Patriarchy Family Association. Mediaite reports, however, that he will continue to host his radio show for the AFA, so it’s really more of a demotion, we guess. Read more on Morning Maddow: American Family Association Fires Most Embarrassing Hater Bryan Fischer…
  Are You Afraid Enough? Please Be More Afraid

America Turns To Wingnuts For Comfort, Wisdom On Paris Attacks

Nous ne sommes pas étonnés
So it looks like the search for the murderers of 12 people at the Paris offices of Charlie Hebdo has come to its bloody end, with all the terrorists dead and four hostages killed in an attack on a kosher supermarket in Paris. As usual in these situations (and can we all just pause for a moment and be horrified that we know what’s “usual” in a terrorist attack?), a lot of the details are still not yet certain. But while we’re still learning the details, it’s definitely not too soon to move to the vital important next phase: explaining how the events in Paris fit into American culture-war politics, especially the all-important question of What To Do About All The Muslims. Read more on America Turns To Wingnuts For Comfort, Wisdom On Paris Attacks…
  It's Jihad All The way Down

Michele Bachmann Has Had It With Obama Supporting Jihad By Bombing ISIS

When in doubt, use this picture
Former Congressidiot Michele Bachmann explained in a recent interview that even when Barack Obama is trying to get one group of Muslims to bomb the hell out of another group of Muslims, he is actually advancing worldwide Islamic jihad, because of course he is. Read more on Michele Bachmann Has Had It With Obama Supporting Jihad By Bombing ISIS…
  Oy Gefilte!

Scott Walker Wished Jewish Friends A Merry Jewish Christmas And An Incendiary New Year

And then the kids spin the grenadel
Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker is definitely giving some serious thought to running for president — like, more serious thought than Donald Trump, even — and to do that, he’s going to have to prove that he is a friend of Israel and of The Jews. Not necessarily a friend to the majority of American Jews, who foolishly keep supporting Democrats, despite Ben Shapiro yelling at them, but he needs to at least prove that he’s worthy of some Sheldon Adelson money. And so he makes the appropriate gestures of love for Israel, which is both a great beacon of democracy and a necessary prop that will be needed to bring about the End Times. He even made a point of goysplaining, at a Las Vegas Adelsonfest, that he named his son Matthew, which is Hebrew for “gift from God,” and that he celebrates the Birth of Our Saviour Jesus Christ with both Christmas lights and “a menorah candle.” See, he’s trying real hard! Unfortunately, not every attempt to be hip and fit in works so well, as we are reminded by Madison’s Capital Times. As part of a document dump from last year’s “John Doe” investigations of Walker’s administration, the group One Wisconsin found an amusing artifact from Walker’s pre-governor days, when he was Milwaukee County executive. Franklyn Gimbel, an attorney from Milwaukee, had written about setting up a Chanukah display at the Milwaukee County Courthouse, and Walker enthusiastically replied: Read more on Scott Walker Wished Jewish Friends A Merry Jewish Christmas And An Incendiary New Year…
  Let's Focus On The Real Monster Here

John ‘God Did The Holocaust’ Hagee Thinks Barack Obama’s An Anti-Semite

Unclear whether Obama is God's Will or just bad luck
Wingnut San Antonio pastor John Hagee, who memorably explained that the Holocaust was God’s gift to the Jews so they could return to Israel, told the Zionist Organization of America Sunday that Barack Obama is anti-Semitic because he is too friendly with Iran. Read more on John ‘God Did The Holocaust’ Hagee Thinks Barack Obama’s An Anti-Semite…
  Throw in a slice of bread and you've got a deal

Here Is Your Lentil Soup Recipe, Because You Are A Hippie Who Loves Lentil Soup

“Matthias Stomer (Umkreis) Das Linsengericht” by Circle of Matthias Stom (fl. 1615–1649) – Licensed under Public domain via Wikimedia Commons Today, we’re going way back to the book of Genesis to make a soup as old as time. This potage of lentils will nourish your body and leave a bitter taste in your mouth. The inspiration for the dish is the story of twin brothers Jacob and Esau, whose sibling rivalry lasted nearly their whole lives. Read more on Here Is Your Lentil Soup Recipe, Because You Are A Hippie Who Loves Lentil Soup…
  We Watch So You Don't Have To

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Two Jews Walk Into Wasilla

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented by Fartknocker
“So Todd just comes beepin’ up — be-boppin’ on up stairs, right? Um…interrupted me a little bit…and he says, ‘Hey, Sarah, there’s these two really nice guys from New Jersey, they’re in the dri–.’ C’mere, Todd!” Read more on The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Two Jews Walk Into Wasilla…
  Ted Talks

Ted Cruz Israel Speech Draws Heavenly Hosannas, By Which We Mean A Buncha Ay-rabs Booed Him Offstage

No we cannot all just get along
Photo by Gage Skidmore Wednesday night at a Washington gala dinner, Ted Cruz gave a keynote speech that ended with him getting booed off the stage. The reason? He made the mistake of praising Israel to a room full of Arabs. Whoops. Either someone on Edmonton Ted’s staff fell down on doing the advance work, or Ted himself really does have the brain of an artichoke. Read more on Ted Cruz Israel Speech Draws Heavenly Hosannas, By Which We Mean A Buncha Ay-rabs Booed Him Offstage…
  Why Can't Toby Keith Perform At The Met Instead?

Wingnuts Will Save You Poor Jews From Getting Pogromed By Metropolitan Opera

Why can't more operas be about American Exceptionalism?
Time for an Arts Update! The editor of Superpatriot and disgraced torture aficionado Allen West’s blog is so mad at the Metropolitan Opera that she’s just about ready to go to New York’s Lincoln Center and stage a mock execution of the artistic director. You see, the monsters at the Met are staging a production of John Adams’s 1991 opera, The Death of Klinghoffer, a dramatization of the 1985 hijacking of the cruise ship Achille Lauro by Palestinian terrorists. The opera focuses on the murder of Leon Klinghoffer, a retired American businessmen whom the hijackers shot and threw overboard, and while his killing is treated as a tragedy, the opera also allows the Palestinian guerrilla to sing about their motives, which are, surprisingly, not pro-Israel. Or as West’s Editor-in-Chief Michele Hickford explains it, the opera “presents [Klinghoffer’s] murder as justified, not only because of Palestinian grievances against Israel, but also by the alleged evil and exploitative actions of Jews against others around the world.” Read more on Wingnuts Will Save You Poor Jews From Getting Pogromed By Metropolitan Opera…
  It's Baaaaaack

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday Returns, Now With 40% More Racial Tension

Mom always read the Times to us dring the Nixon administration
Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday is back, kids, and of course we have to start our perusal of the Newspaper of Record with its coverage of events overnight in Ferguson, Missouri. Not surprisingly, the midnight curfew declared by Gov. Jay Nixon yesterday didn’t exactly bring peace and quiet — demonstrations continued, the police fired tear gas, and seven demonstrators were arrested. Why the tear gas, after Capt. Ron Johnson had promised that it wouldn’t be used? At a press conference, Johnson Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday Returns, Now With 40% More Racial Tension…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: KKK And James Woods Gonna Clean Up The Border

But how did she end up with Twilight Sparkle's panties on her head?
Welcome to another Derp Roundup, the feature where we collect all the stupidest stories that we couldn’t find a spot for and dump them in a junk drawer for you to sort through. You may want to wash your brain afterward! Read more on Derp Roundup: KKK And James Woods Gonna Clean Up The Border…
  Oy Gevalt

Can You Even Milk A Jew? They Are Not Cats

But milk the Jew before you throw him down the well
Oh, golly, did Jim Hoft, the Stupidest Man on the Internet, ever get a scoop Wednesday! Well, not a scoop, exactly, but it’s plenty outrageous, as his screaming headline indicates: “Dem 2014 Campaign Strategy Released Online: Milk the Jews.” And mercy, his dudgeon is set at a high level indeed: Read more on Can You Even Milk A Jew? They Are Not Cats…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Day: You Guys Aren’t Funny. Check Out Some Funny Conservative Satire

And how long have you had these feelings of persecution?
Time for more sludge from our comments queue, and we’ll have you know it was no easy task hosing off our keyboard after this visit. First up, a note from “NasalVacuum,” who we assume must be former Florida Rep. Trey Radel. NasalVacuum was not impressed with our little mommyblog, recipe trading post, and clopfic nexus; and was particularly disappointed by our story last week about the clinical psychologist who’s obsessed with Sandra Fluke’s totalitarian vagina. Problem is, it just wasn’t FUNNY. Here is NasalVacuum’s objective assessment: Yikes! This is what passes for writing on Wonkette? Just awful. The writer might want to look at the Daily Rash and learn a few things about satire and humor. This tripe was painful to read and I didn’t even get to the end without screaming. But I’m a nice person so here’s a link to real satire and I wish you the best. No, really. The email closed with a link to hilarious conservative fake-news site The Daily Rash, whose top story right now is (hope you’re sitting down) this bit of inspired whimsy: “Al Qaeda Jihad Magazine ‘Inspire’ Publishes Its First Swimsuit Issue.” Get it? It’s funny, ’cause radical Muslims make ladies wear burqas! Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: You Guys Aren’t Funny. Check Out Some Funny Conservative Satire…
  scream lover

Sean Hannity Can’t Stop Yelling At Palestinian Bully Who Won’t Answer Simple Loaded Questions

Nobody makes a logo like Fox
On Thursday, Sean Hannity took a few minutes to yell loaded questions at Yousef Munayyer, executive director of The Jerusalem Fund and Palestine Center in Washington, who kept obstinately trying to present his own opinion about Israel’s actions in Gaza instead of agreeing with Hannity that Israel is right in everything that it does. Munayyer was pretty arrogant right from the beginning, when he refused to answer Hannity’s perfectly objective and fair opening question correctly: “If I fired 1600-2000 rockets into your neighborhood, I kidnapped 3 children in your neighborhood and kill them, what do you think the proper proportionate response is?” Munayyer tried to use his own talking point about “decades of military occupation,” but Hannity cut him off, because obviously the correct answer is “A proportionate response would be a bombing campaign and ground assault that has left over 800 dead, because Palestinian life is cheap and we are terrorists, Sean.” Read more on Sean Hannity Can’t Stop Yelling At Palestinian Bully Who Won’t Answer Simple Loaded Questions…
  clipbait

As Usual, World Went All To Hell While Jon Stewart Was On Break (Video)

When Jon Stewart takes a vacation, he usually returns to find that some eminently mockable story has broken while he was away. He was on break when Dick Cheney shot that guy in the face, for instance, and when Sara Palin quit (as governor, that time). But returning from this most recent two-week break, Stewart thinks the entire world has gone mad: the border crisis, the Republicans suing Obama, Iraq falling apart as ISIS takes over huge parts of the country, and for those who prefer the taste of “Catastrophe Classic,” Hamas is shooting rockets ineffectually at Israel and Israel is converting large swaths of Gaza to rubble: “Tastes great, more killing.” Read more on As Usual, World Went All To Hell While Jon Stewart Was On Break (Video)…