It took us so long to check it out, but we finally did, and guess what? Mitt Romney’s “Free and Strong America PAC” website has any number of funnies! There are all these videos of him yelling at Obama for doing things that Mitt Romney did like 20 times when he was governor of Massachusetts. And then he always asks for money to support whatever he needs money for. (The best is probably the one where he goes nuts about cap-and-trade supposedly costing every person $1,700 dollars, after which he requests $5,000 donations.) But let’s check out this dongle he links to at Human Events, an op-ed by Mittens himself: “Iran: Biggest Threat Since Soviets.” MORE »

• Bank of America lost $1 billion—and your Wonkette editor’s debit card!!—in the third quarter. [New York Times]
• Do not read this, keep thy heart pure: Boy in the Balloon? Likely a publicity stunt. [New York Times]
• A weak dollar is good news for things that are made here and exported elsewhere. This is an important news article from a city’s major newspaper. [Los Angeles Times]
• The FDA would prefer that everyone not buy the powerful Swine Flu Antidote on the Internet for all the regular reasons buying drugs on the Internet, without telling your doctor, might be unwise. [CNN]
• A 6.1 magnitude earthquake hit Jakarta this morning and you know quite frankly everyone there is a bit sick of the earthquakes at this point. [CNN]
• UN Human Rights Council endorsed a report in which both Hamas and Israel were accused of war crimes in Gaza. [Guardian]

• Why is Matt Yglesias such a self-loathing Jew? [Matt Yglesias]
• “Here was this guy Michael Savage screaming and ranting and raving about illegal immigration Islamofascism and you know it all started to click and make sense.” The End. [Think Progress]
• We love Erick Erickson and his enchanting stories about how Jesus denied illegal immigrant lepers health care. But what’s this, Erick? Five links, accompanied by five little commentaries? Fishy! What should RedState call their Rumors on the Internets? Our vote: “Reagan’s Daily Bidding.” [RedState]
• Joe Lieberman. Technically, not a Republican. And not a Democrat, either. But how can he call himself an Independent if he is still breastfed by Harry Reid and John Boehner (they alternate teets)? We will compromise and call him a Poopoocrat. [TPM]
• Barack Obama and Bill Clinton went on their first big date, and shared an apple pie milkshake and talked about health care reform, blowjobs, and other White House pastimes. [The Caucus]

• Human Rights Watch is staffed by a bunch of dirty Plushophiliacs who break out the Jergens lotion every time Israel is attacked with pebbles and Estes rockets. [Commentary Magazine]
• Karl Rove is deeply concerned that America’s impressionable youth will forget to leave milk and cookies for Barack Obama on Ramadan. [Think Progress]
• Cantankerous wingnut lady dares Democratic congressman to “pull her finger” as “down payment on this health care plan.”[TPM]
• Joseph Kennedy II can’t run for senate because the Republican National Committee found Two_Girls_1_Chavez.avi on his computer. [The Caucus]
• Matt Yglesias Matt Yglesias Matt Yglesias. [AMERICAblog]

The health care debate’s fifteen minutes are finally, finally up. Ugh, do you even remember all that? Anyway, Obama will now solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, America’s original synonym for “unable to be fixed with one swift gesture.” Obama’s (alleged!) new peace plan includes TEN swift gestures, which he will (allegedly!) present at a peace conference in Egypt at the end of the month. This does not leave much time for every person on Earth to begin absolutely despising each clause of the hated plan for quasi-personal reasons of varying legitimacy! Let’s begin immediately. MORE »

Solid gold, gold, gold! (Except for the shitty local ad in the beginning — sorry!) This insane hell-woman at a town hall in Las Vegas overhears an Israeli man praising Israel’s national health care system, and says from afar, “HEIL HITLER!” Then she calls him gay for Obama and laughs like a baby when he explains that the American health care system basically bankrupted him. Does this lady have a name? Because we’d love to engrave this incident on “her Google,” permanently. UPDATE: This RUDIMENTARY video player may or may not have been destroying the beloved Wonkette Commenting System! Just go watch it at fancypants Think Progress, where nothing dies. MORE MADNESS: Tipster LUKE writes, “The evil, evil woman in the video is wearing an Israeli Defense Forces t-shirt. What the fuck?” Everyone is lying in this wretched country! [Sigh] Enough typing for the day. [Think Progress]

Very funny things happen when Mike Huckabee opens his mouth and says words about foreign policy. Remember the above clip from one of those hilarious 2008 GOP primary debates? He just had no idea what to say! And things don’t seem to have changed much, given today’s very confident declaration of no-peace. MORE »

Oh man, Newsweek. We were all prepared to just ignore this, to make it die, because JESUS, but the copy editors closed the deal nicely with this subhed: “Peace Partners: Bush and Obama could play good-cop, bad-cop with Israel.” OH COME ON. Fine, here’s a quick mockery of your broke magazine’s pornographic web-dung. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon

Last week your Comics Curmudgeon tackled two very important tropes in the world of political cartooning: pooping and huge boners. “Ha ha,” you say, “surely it can’t get any worse pooping and huge boners!” Well, just as attempted teenage furry statutory rape was soon topped by actually implemented furry dog rape, so too you will come to look back warmly at the innocent time known as “last Friday,” when the worst you encountered was Kim Jong-Il’s enormous missile-dingus. That’s because this week you will be confronted by creepy, fetishistic depictions of vomiting, and “tickle play.” Forewarned is forearmed! MORE »

Think tanks have this magical ability to fix all the evil in the world, just by thinking. This week they solve the Middle East crisis (ABOUT TIME) and explain how the financial crisis has affected everyone from children to small animals to the newest crop of starving, underpaid/unpaid interns in DC.  And the Heritage Foundation even manages to find the time to praise everyone’s favorite dead conservative, Ronald Reagan, again. MORE »

Monstrous wingnut Joseph Ratzinger somehow became pope a few years ago — this is because of ancient Catholic-Sith rules dictating that each “good pope” must be followed by a “loathsome beast.” But Ratzi is unique even among the Sith Popes, for he is the first Bishop of Rome to be an actual Nazi, for Hitler, in Nazi Germany. Jesus, talk about your breaking of historical barriers …. Obama’s got nothing on this creep! Anyway, Ratzinger comically lived up to expectations by supporting actual Holocaust-denying fellow wingnut bishops, and now he’s in Israel kissing ass, but luckily nobody believes his evil horseshit. MORE »