Wonkette

Like so many McCain campaign disasters — choosing Phil “Poor People Suck” Gramm as financial adviser or announcing a press conference on an oil rig during a hurricane — it probably seemed like a terrific idea at the time: Harass Barack Obama into embarking on an international fact-finding mission thing, which would obviously provide so many embarrassing gaffes and make Americans scared to death of the Boy Muslim President. MORE »

A JEW LIKES OBAMA! Except for Sour Joe Lieberman and maybe a dozen wingnuts and their blogspots, American Jews are liberal Democrats — it’s the Party for the Smarties. But one of the 2004 wingnuts now says Barack Obama is cool for Israel! The remaining eleven wingnuts will be FURIOUS, and Lieberman will need an extra thousand pounds of prunes tonight. [Jerusalem Post]

Yesterday Joe Lieberman addressed Christians United For Israel, the dumb thing headed by Pastor John Hagee, Lieberman’s best friend. Hagee used to be John McCain’s best friend, and they spent many a evening talking about how Hitler was a messenger of God, the message being “European Jews, what an oxymoron!” Joe Lieberman introduced himself to the creepy group with this appropriately creepy message: “I am your brother Joseph.” Then: “I don’t agree with everything Pastor Hagee has said… I will tell you tonight the bond that I feel with Pastor Hagee and each and every one of you is much stronger than that and I am proud to stand with you tonight.” Ha ha, Connecticut voters. [NYT/The Caucus]

Here’s a curious pairing of headlines from the Washington Post website. John McCain, as he has been and will continue doing for the next eight years, called Obama a softie who ignorantly treats our enemies like actual human beings. Obama thinks *talking* to dangerous regimes, in some form, will achieve anything? Like a truce or something? Go back to Harvard, Columbia elitist! Talking with the enemy will only result in twenty more 9/11s and universal cancer. [Washington Post]

McCAIN HEARTS HAMAS: John McCain is such a senile psychopath Maverick that he was all set to negotiate with Hamas just two years ago, but it’s very bad for Barack Obama to talk about such things this year, because … uh, Jeremiah Wright? [ABC News]

After this morning’s speech where George W. Bush called Barack Obama a terrorist/Hitler, Barack Obama responded that this was false, and a Smear. How did “Icy Hot” White House Press Secretary Dana Perino respond then? By telling Barry that they weren’t talking about him, although it makes sense that his narcissistic ass would interpret it that way. MORE »

Oh no, everyone is so mad at the President’s speech about Israel today, where he called Obama a Nazi-appeaser as well as a terrorist. Like this is news? But everyone is issuing statements and Declarations attacking George W. Bush for his “behavior,” as if it’s some sort of surprise that he would call Barry a terrorist. They’re responding similarly — except for our old pal Sen. Joe Biden, the stand-up comedian of the 2008 Democratic nomination race, who just started cursing left and right. MORE »

Oh no! Condi’s stuck on repeat! Or maybe shuffle! She went places, she met people… but it all seems so familiar, like she’s just coasting for the next eight months or something. I don’t know about you, but there are some Condi reruns I’d much rather see, so let’s use the magical, revelatory power of Photoshop to pump up the Condiweek that was… after the jump, natch!

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America’s Princess Diplobot had a busy end of March: She celebrated 4,000 troop deaths in Iraq, reminisced about slavery, and reignited vice presidential rumors all by herself, by doing nothing more than talking to a friendly bear. Way to go, girl! Catch up with Condi after the jump!

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A completely anonymous Wonkette operative reports that fake dead people are taking over the city. “At the corner of 15th and K a little while ago, there were 10 or 15 people ‘playing dead’ on the sidewalk outside my office. I also saw a girl get a suit from (I think) Caterpillar Inc. to flip his shit on camera as she asked him why his bulldozers ran over a 23-year-old American trying to protect her home in Palestine. He came off looking like the ‘roid rage douche he probably is, while she was calm, collected and slightly hippie-ish. (Although idk why the US out of Israel group felt the need to protest something other than the war today….)”

Harrowing tales of masked anti-war crusaders and their expensive sandwiches, after the jump! MORE »