Tag: israel

True fact: Personal grooming regimen strictly dictated by Andrew Breitbart himself

Breitbart Watch: Stop Blood Libeling Steve Bannon By Calling Him Anti-Semitic!

Leave Steve Bannon ALOOOOOOOOONE!

All The Times Mike Pence Defended Donald Trump’s Past Statements By HEY LOOK OVER THERE!

If Mike Pence won the debate, he did it by conveniently ignoring everything Donald Trump has ever said.
Also, there are some kickass coupons for Sofas & Quills

Wonkagenda: Tuesday, September 20, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

Why Can’t Man-Baby Donald Trump Use Nuclear Weapons, WHY WHY WHY??? A Wonksplainer

Trump reportedly asked a foreign policy expert THREE TIMES IN ONE HOUR why he's not allowed to nuke everything. THREE TIMES.

Boris Johnson, Noted Lout And Buffoon, Is England’s Next Top Model

As Americans we don't really care what the rest of Not-America does because they have to do whatever we tell them or risk receiving our freedom bullets. However, some foreign policy analysts (nerds with thick glasses, funny accents and...
You don't bring me flowers...you don't sing me love songs...

Dinesh D’Souza’s Favorite Candidate Takes On Amy Schumer’s Cousin: Your Senate Sunday

Let's all try to get excited about Chuck Schumer! Or at least laugh at Dinesh D'Souza one more time.
Check out the Zionist Plot!

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Why Is Wonkette So Full of Zionist Jooooz?

We heard from a reader who was wondering why our coverage of the 2016 presidential race was so completely obsessed with Israel. It's almost as if the obsession wasn't really ours.

Hillary To America: I Am A Grown-Ass Adult, And Donald Trump Is A Idiot

It's a pity Hillary won't say what she really thinks about Donald Trump.

Gather Round, For Breitbart’s David Horowitz Is To Tell Us All About Blackness

First David Horowitz came for the Jews, and I said nothing, because eh, it's David Horowitz. Then he came for the black people, and I was like seriously, you sure you wanna do that, buddy?
We hear some Republicans are running, too

Maryland Has Two Awesome Democrats Running For Senate. Can We Have Both?

This week, our Senate preview will be a little different from the usual format: We're off to Maryland, where the two parties' candidates haven't yet been chosen. Barbara Mikulski, who served in the Senate for five terms, announced last...

Michele Bachmann Says Brussels Attacks Were God’s Little Way Of Giving Obama A Wedgie

How grateful are we that Michele Bachmann refuses to go gently into that good night? She rages, rages, at the dying of her political career, and we are the recipients of that gift. Michele opened up her AOL Tuesday...
Oh good, more opinions from this guy.

Ted Nugent Knows Jews Are The Real Nazi Holocaust-Doers, Because Obviously

It is a day, which means somewhere in the recent past, or maybe right this second if he's awake, NRA board member Ted Nugent has been spotted doing public bigotry of some sort. Now, far be it from us...
Where is your Godzilla now?

Michele Bachmann Not About To Let Obama Become Antichrist At The United Nations, No Way

Former Congresspastor Michele Bachmann has been playing the ol' "The Bible Is A Roadmap For History" game again, and she has some pretty fascinating predictions about what's going to happen in the Middle East any day now, as we...
BYE YOU DUGGAR-LOVIN' MOTHERFUCKER

Dearest Mike Huckabee: So Long, Farewell, Aufwiedersehen, Burn In Hell

By now, you may have heard the saddest news ever to come out of the big dumbocrap whatchamahoozit known as the Iowa caucuses: Mike Huckabee will no longer be pretending to "run for president," and will instead have to...
and also too energy, we forgot to put "energy" when we made our meme

Is It Time To Put Ben Carson Out Of His Misery? (Electorally Speaking, Of Course!)

Dear friends, we are worried about our smartest brain surgeon to ever cut open brains and also run for Republican president of America, Ben Carson. We have been saying for a long time that we are pretty sure his...
GO AWAY, DILDO PRESENTS!

Oregon Militia Dongweasels Too Good For Free Dildos, We Guess

Awwwww, those jacknugget Bundy militia boys are upset! They've been begging for snacky cakes and Miracle Whip and Tampax and instead everybody's sending them complimentary sex toys, to put inside their fannies and their mouths or maybe to just...