Tag Archives: Islamophobia

  Jade Helm Has To Work Into This Somehow

Islamic Leaders Call For End To Fossil Fuels, Will Probably Jihad Your SUV

Shouldn't that be Hooray, we have hydrogen?
Shouldn’t that be “Hooray, we have hydrogen”? Well, this ought to inspire some conspiracy theories! Tuesday, an International Islamic Climate Change Symposium held in Istanbul (not Constantinople) declared that climate change is real, happening now, and caused by human activity. The group called for immediate action to slow the warming of the planet, because Allah would rather not see mass extinctions, thank you. Considering that wingnuts are already convinced climate science is just a scam to make scientists rich, we’re guessing that any combination of the words “Islam” and “global warming” will cause more than a few rightwing heads to explode. Yes, Louie Gohmert, we’re looking at you. Read more on Islamic Leaders Call For End To Fossil Fuels, Will Probably Jihad Your SUV…
  Stay On Target

Texas Ag Commissioner Doesn’t Really Want To Nuke All The Muslims. OR DOES HE?

nukes
Bomb, bomb, bomb / Bomb-Bomb … everywhere We all know the normal steps in political gaffe management: 1) Somebody says something really stupid, often on social media; 2) The incredibly stupid/offensive/impolitic social media post is removed; 3) A spokesperson explains that the gaffe was committed by an underling, without authorization, and it definitely doesn’t reflect the boss’s views; 4) Depending on the seriousness of the gaffe, the underling may be fired and the office may issue an apology (of variable sincerity); and 5) Donald Trump says something far stupider, and his polling actually improves. But once in a while, this predictable sequence falls apart, and things get very weird, very fast. Read more on Texas Ag Commissioner Doesn’t Really Want To Nuke All The Muslims. OR DOES HE?…
  Set Phasers To 'DUMB'

KKK Dude Wanted To Unleash Death Ray Against Muslims, Including Obama

And his application to the Evil League Of Evil was going so well...
And his application to the Evil League Of Evil was going so well… You have probably been wondering for YEARS (a bit over two of them, to be precise) what happened to those idiots in upstate New York who were arrested for planning to use a Radiation Death Ray to wipe out Muslims, haven’t you? We know we had vaguely thought of it at least once since Glendon Crawford and Eric Feight were arrested in 2013 for their plan to throw deadly radiation from the back of a truck at a mosque and a Muslim school, and thus strike a blow against Islamic Radicalism in the USA. Well, one of the genius mad scientists, Crawford, is finally on trial, and his lawyer is arguing that undercover government agents entrapped him and pushed him into playing Radiation Terrorist. His pal Feight pleaded guilty in 2014 and may or may not testify against Crawford. Read more on KKK Dude Wanted To Unleash Death Ray Against Muslims, Including Obama…
  Also Needs Advice On Avoiding Publicity

Arizona’s ‘F*ck Islam’ Hero Selling Motorcycle To Buy More Guns, Obviously

Poor bastard can't even afford a shirt
Show some respect for Jon Ritzheimer, the professional victim who organized the Great Big Scream At A Mosque Rally in Phoenix, proudly posed in his “Fuck Islam” t-shirt, claimed he has been targeted for death by radical Muslims, and whined — in the very same Facebook post — that “Not one news out let will interview me” but also “I just want me and my family to disappear” from public view. So of course, he’s in public view again. He’s selling his motorcycle so he can afford the necessities of life. Not food or rent, silly; he needs to buy more guns, because his life is still in great danger! Read more on Arizona’s ‘F*ck Islam’ Hero Selling Motorcycle To Buy More Guns, Obviously…
  Send Lawyers Guns And Money. Mostly Money

Arizona Muslim-Hater Needs $10 Million To Save His Family, Mean GoFundMe Won’t Let Him Have It

Poor bastard can't even afford a shirt
Great American Patriot Jon Ritzheimer has had a wonderful and terrible week. He’s the nice fellow with the “Fuck Islam!” t-shirt who organized that big “Free Speech (and Hate Islam) Rally” at the Islamic Community Center of Phoenix last Friday, where armed idiots showed up to exercise their sacred right to be dicks, and to prove that Islam is very scary. Happily, the rally came off without anyone getting shot, thanks to a huge police presence. Oh, but Mr. Ritzheimer is now in fear for his life, because some idiots on Twitter threatened him, and now he needs to go into hiding to save his family, so would you all please donate to his GoFundMe? He figures $10 million should be enough to tide him over. Read more on Arizona Muslim-Hater Needs $10 Million To Save His Family, Mean GoFundMe Won’t Let Him Have It…
  The Sacred Right To Be A Dick

Free Speech Loving Islamophobes Invade Phoenix Mosque To Draw Mohammed, Guns

He's just a fan of the vibrant dialogue guaranteed by the First Amendment
In what’s expected to be a terrific day for both the First and Second Amendments, several hundred armed idiots are expected to show up for a rally and “Draw Muhammad Cartoon Contest” outside a mosque in Phoenix Friday evening. The event’s Facebook page emphasizes that while the rally should be “PEACEFUL,” it would also be a terrific idea for attendees to “utilize there [sic] second amendment right at this event just incase [sic] our first amendment comes under the much anticipated attack.” Read more on Free Speech Loving Islamophobes Invade Phoenix Mosque To Draw Mohammed, Guns…
  Home Of The Brave

Hero Patriot Lady Saves Minnesota Neighborhood From Scary Muslim Mom And Dad

They DO look pretty scary -- like they could ground you or take away your phone privileges
Another Responsible American with a Gun has done her part to keep the nation safe from ISIS terrorists: A twitchy 48-year-old lady in the Minneapolis suburb of Maple Grove, Minnesota, pulled what appeared to be a rifle — it turned out to be a pellet gun — on a middle-aged Muslim couple last Friday for being all jihad-looking in the neighborhood where they’d driven to pick up their teenaged son from a friend’s house. Read more on Hero Patriot Lady Saves Minnesota Neighborhood From Scary Muslim Mom And Dad…
  with militias intent

Failed Congressional Candidate Planned To Kill Some Muslims As Love Offering To Sean Hannity

Those aren't crazy eyes at all, no sir
Let’s meet Robert Doggart, who ran last year as an independent for Tennessee’s 4th Congressional District (and lost rather badly, getting just 6.4 percent of the vote). But he’s not the sort of guy to just dabble in politics as a fringe candidate; he decided to face America’s problems head on, plotting to lead a militia attack on a Muslim community in New York, a bit of patriotic direct action that could get him five years in prison, which seems maybe a little light for planning an act of terrorism, but it’s not like he’s a jihadi or anything. Besides, we all know there are no rightwing terrorists. Read more on Failed Congressional Candidate Planned To Kill Some Muslims As Love Offering To Sean Hannity…
  I Slam You Slam We All Slam Islam!

Muslim-Hatin’ Rep. Steve King Sure There’s No Discrimination Against Muslims

Hey, he's not denying anyone a job right there, so he's cool
Iowa congressprick Steve “No I’m not the Novelist” King is disgusted — disgusted! — at the warped priorities of Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson, who said in February that he would “give voice to the plight of Muslims living in this country and the discrimination that they face.” King thinks that’s a pretty weird thing to say, since, as far as Steve King knows, Muslim-Americans simply don’t face any discrimination. Read more on Muslim-Hatin’ Rep. Steve King Sure There’s No Discrimination Against Muslims…
  All That And Not A Word About Admiral Allahu Ackbar?

Fine, Sure, Star Wars Is Muslim, Whatever. Live Long And Prosper, Weirdo.

Finding this may have been the best part of writing this piece
CNN brought us a rather fun thinky piece Tuesday, making a case for the possible Islamic underpinnings of the Star Wars films — except that it’s not making that case at all, and is mostly an excuse for a scholar who knows more than a thing or two about Islam (and not quite as much about Star Wars) to do some Deep Trolling. As a close reading of the movies, the piece, by H.A. Hellyer, makes for a pretty fair freshman essay in introductory Media Studies; as satire, it’s pretty much got one joke, which doesn’t really work so great, but hey, it’s an excuse to talk about politics and Star Wars again, so why not? Read more on Fine, Sure, Star Wars Is Muslim, Whatever. Live Long And Prosper, Weirdo….
  You'd Think Hate And Rage Would Bring People Together More

First And Second Amendments In Battle To Death As A**holes Shoot Up Texan Anti-Islam Event

She seems nice
A bunch of anti-Muslim extremists in Texas were attacked by a couple of Muslim extremists yesterday, proving that America needs to take much more extreme measures to protect itself from Muslim extremists. In the Dallas suburb of Garland, Texas, the charming folks of the “American Freedom Defense Initiative,” Pam Geller’s happy band of Islamophobes, were holding a widely publicized contest to find the bestest possible cartoon of the prophet Mohammed — a $10,000 prize to the cartoon that best captured what Islamophobes think is funny — when two men drove up and shot an unarmed security guard in the ankle; Garland police officers returned fire, killing the attackers immediately. Read more on First And Second Amendments In Battle To Death As A**holes Shoot Up Texan Anti-Islam Event…
  Snake River Jihad

Sure, Idaho, Child Support Bill Will Lead To Sharia Law. What? No, You’re Not Crazy At All

Get out of that state, get out of that state you're in. You better beware...
Left: State Sen. Sheryl Nuxoll (R-Cottonwood) Right: The International Radical Islamic Juggernaut, Everywhere But Idaho The Idaho Legislature’s 2015 session came to an exciting end Friday with a small group of nutjob Republicans killing off a bill to enforce child support judgments so Idaho wouldn’t have to fear living under the yoke of radical Islamic law. The decision to kill the bill endangers the state’s access to about $46 million in federal funding and to programs that help with processing child support payments and tracking down delinquent parents. But isn’t that a small price to pay to remain free of the taint of Sharia? Read more on Sure, Idaho, Child Support Bill Will Lead To Sharia Law. What? No, You’re Not Crazy At All…
  Circular Firing Squad

NRA Will Drown Grover Norquist’s Islamic Terrorism In A Bathtub

Douche fight! Douche fight!
Better take cover, kids, because there’s a big ol’ Battle of the Rightwing True Believers a-brewin’, and there’s no telling where the stray rounds will hit. Seems that Grover Norquist is getting a little Politics of Personal Destruction thrown his way as he seeks reelection to the National Rifle Association’s Board of Directors. The whole ugly slapfight is covered in excruciating detail by Chaotic Evil Breitbart Horcrux Matthew Boyle, who chronicles the internecine dustup with all the enthusiasm of a junior high school girl telling all about the big cafeteria brawl that got That Bitch Melanie and That Other Bitch Breeanna a week of after-school detention. Read more on NRA Will Drown Grover Norquist’s Islamic Terrorism In A Bathtub…
  Single Finger Salute

Latest Proof Obama’s A Muslim: He Openly Possesses An Index Finger

How can anyone dispute it? That's a finger all right!
Barack Hussein Obama had better just give up the pretense and admit that he’s a Muslim Manchurian Candidate, because some genius at “American Thinker” — where the stuff that’s too crazy for WorldNetDaily ends up — has finally found the conclusive evidence of Barack Hussein Obama Soetoro Guevara Lumumba Hitler’s definite membership in the Islamic Death Cult: He was photographed throwing Muslim Gang Signs! There it is, right in the picture up there! Read more on Latest Proof Obama’s A Muslim: He Openly Possesses An Index Finger…
  People Are Horrible: An Ongoing Series

Idiot Atheist Murders Three Muslim Students In NC; Conservatives Are Greatest Victims

Retroactive Christians
Congratulations, America, we have a whole new terrible murder to turn into a debating point in the Culture Wars! And just to mix things up a bit, the victims were three Muslim students (all of them apparently smart over-achievers who should have had beautiful lives ahead of them), and the accused killer is described variously as an “atheist,” a “radical atheist,” or a “crazed progressive atheist.” Read more on Idiot Atheist Murders Three Muslim Students In NC; Conservatives Are Greatest Victims…
  pee-drinkin' patriots

Todd Starnes Has Some Thoughts On American Jesus We Mean American Sniper

I see dead people.
Here’s a true story about Todd Starnes. Recently, I was at a party and mentioned that I was writing about Todd Starnes. The person I was talking to didn’t quite know who Todd Starnes was until I said, “People make jokes about him drinking pee on Twitter. Pee jokes guy. Big hat.” Then she was like “ohh, that guy! Yeah. That’s the only reason I know who he is. The pee jokes.” So good work everyone, I guess. Read more on Todd Starnes Has Some Thoughts On American Jesus We Mean American Sniper…