YES! Here is your Barack Obama giving the “most muslin speech ever” by wishing the terrorists “Ramadan Kareem” on “behalf of the American people, including Muslim communities in all 50 states.” (”Ramadan Kareem” means “Merry Starvation Christmas,” in Mexican.) Then he explains Muslim culture for a while. Fifty million white grandmothers in America are opening their forwarded e-mails for the day right now and freaking the fuck out. MORE »

In the continuum of America’s Problems, right before everyone was concerned about the economy and right after the environment actually starting melting, there was the issue of the Muslins, a dangerous sect of Hawaiian Christian Platonists who went rogue for a few years, in Iraq. You’ll recall The War, yes? Anyway, few books about that thing, and how it’s still a problem, despite not being mentioned on any blogs for awhile. Also, there seems to be an early onslaught of nostalgia for capitalism going around, which in this week’s column is comically juxtaposed against the closing of one of DC’s most beloved bookstores, Vertigo Books. Irony! MORE »

Barack Obama went to what he fancy-calls a “Muslim-majority” nation today, Turkey, to hock his “legacy assets” under the guise of “reconciliation” after years of “Overseas Contingency Operations.” In other words he gave a speech to the Turkish Parliament in which he “promoted terrorism against white Christian landowning Americans.” Everyone should thank our President for this devastating Freeper bait. MORE »

Possibly the most ignorant motherfucker to ever walk the halls of the Senate, Rick Santorum was sent packing in 2006 because, even by Republican standards, he is an outrageously stupid bigot and total human failure. For some reason, he was allowed to give a “speech” at some college in Nebraska, where he gave his usual historically wrong and intellectually vapid comments about the exciting moros y cristianos battle still happening, in his mind. Oh yes, there were laughs to be had! MORE »

• PREPARE FOR ULTIMATE RIGHT-WING BLOG HILARITY: “Barack Obama told a group of donors in California early last year that his first international trip would be to Muslim Indonesia, a supporter who was present recalled today… He then said when he got off [Air Force One], he would say ‘xxxxxxxx’ - which we, of course, didn’t understand,’ Leary emailed. ‘He said that it was Indonesian (which he speaks) for, “I am back, dudes.”‘” Free Republic will be gold tonight. [Ben Smith]

Truly, Virgil Goode was our nation’s finest congressman, because only he stood up for America when a frightening Detroit Muslim, Keith Ellison, won a Minnesota congressional seat in 2006. See, Ellison was sworn in using Thomas Jefferson’s Koran, but Goode wanted to use it, for masturbation, because Goode represented Virginia’s 5th congressional district, which includes Jefferson’s beloved Monticello. MORE »

Politico’s Ben Smith has posted a HIT PIECE on Barack Obama today, calling him a FRAUD, who is CONSCIOUS of IMAGE. Two Muslim women, apparently, were supposed to stand behind Obama’s podium at his big Al Gore Rally in Detroit on Monday. They each were wearing “Muslim headscarves,” however, and since Barack Obama must not ever be near any known Muslims, his campaign volunteers wouldn’t allow the two gals behind the podium after all. So now we’ve got one of those Old Politics/New Politics/Hypocrisy things on our hands. MORE »

Gah! Press e-mails have rarely been this good, and for that we will do specifically what Inside Edition wants us to do: Please watch Inside Edition’s exclusive footage of Obama’s terrorist “mosques” (HOUSES) in Indonesia where he lived from age 6- 10, Monday, May 5 and Tuesday, May 6, 2008, check your local listings. If that doesn’t get you giddy, then this teaser surely will: “Madewa tells INSIDE EDITION that Obama enjoyed playing Monopoly and was very competitive at the game. He also tells INSIDE EDITION that Obama was an avid kite flyer.” Was Madewa like his Muslim slave or something? MORE »

Since Barack Obama couldn’t answer the important question “Is Jeremiah Wright as patriotic as you are?” with any shred of decency in last week’s ABC debate, Wright is now explaining his obvious black hatred of all things white on his own terms. His First Televised Interview will appear on PBS tomorrow night, but we have excerpts, and they’re predictable, etc. etc., why is he such a Christian Muslim? MORE »

Honest St. John McCain sure keeps honest companies — lobbyist paramours, regular lobbyists who control every aspect of his campaign, and religious fundamentalists. First there was John Hagee, the anti-papist who McCain didn’t denounce for a long time; now we have Rod Parsley, a televangelist from Ohio. Mother Jones‘ David Corn has the full scoop on this guy, who McCain, “with Parsley by his side at the Cincinnati rally, called a ’spiritual guide.’” Interesting, since this guide likes to say that “Allah was a demon spirit.” MORE »

Because Rudy Giuliani ended his campaign for America’s terrorism mayor yesterday, and because the kids enjoy top 10 lists (like on the David Letterman show), and because it is the most obvious opportunity to strike since 9/11, here is your list of the best Giuliani references to America’s Holiday in the Sun, 9/11. After this, we hope to never speak about either Rudy Giuliani or 9/11 again. The very existence of Rudy’s campaign, after all, proved that the terrorists had won a long time ago. MORE »