Georgia State is the most fantastic university in America because it gives you several hours of academic credits for attending hands-on, how-to classes about ORAL SEX and GAYNESS, which is to say, relatively dry theoretical courses on “sexuality and society” and queer theory. (Many college students the world over have been baffled at the ability of academics to sap even the most salacious topics of even a hint of excitement; your editor recalls a lecture on Foucault turning into a massive snoozy buzzkill by the professor, a tiny and hilarious little old Mr. McGoo type, spending more time talking about the Panopticon than with what he called “SM.”) The point is, every student who goes to Georgia State immediately turns gay and gets a four-year supply of dental dams and/or condoms upon enrollment. Sign up now! [CNN]

“Offering a grammar lesson guaranteed to make any English teacher cringe, President George W. Bush told a group of New York school kids on Wednesday: ‘Childrens do learn.’” [Reuters]