Joe the Plumber is so angry about something! Are you angry about something or not? Your opinion counts! Here’s your chance: for just $0.99 (hilarious rationale here) you can “sext” Joe the Plumber either your “yes” or your “no” opinion about whether the IRS should be abolished and replaced with the Fair Tax, which is a *fair* tax — says right there in the name, “Fair Tax” got it? What are you illiterate or something? (No cap gains!) YOU’RE NOT SEXTING FAST ENOUGH. [IRSvote]

RON PAUL MUST HELP BLACK VAMPIRE TAX HERO! The Feds threw the book at American cinema/tax hero Wesley Snipes! Three Years for just evading income taxes and escaping to Africa. FREE WESLEY SNIPES! [New York Times]

Movie hero Wesley Snipes is beloved by Americans for killing vampires and helping Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis colonize space planets for the American Dream, but now the Evil American Government is trying to destroy him for protecting your tax rights! The celebrity star is in Florida today so a federal court can sentence him for tax evasion. The feds want to put him in jail for three years! But Denzel Washington and Woody Harrelson have arrived in Florida and they are going to bust him out of the joint, hooray! UPDATE: Nooooooo! Three Years! [CNN/Ocala.com]

The greatest American hero since forever, Sinbad, is actually a traitor to his country because he does not pay for it. If you’ll recall, he was the leading provocateur in “Sinbadgate” (named after Sheryl Crow, an important participant), the whistle-blowing scandal about Hillary’s Clinton’s fake trip to Bosnia. But now the funniest comedian of some decade is one of the most high profile tax delinquents in the United States, according to the I.R.S. Similarly heroic politico Dick Morris is also a tax delinquent, but he’s also not a human. MORE »

Presidents and vice presidents file tax returns — they’re just like us! George and Laura Bush filed and guess how much they made in 2007? Just shy of a million! That’s not really so much money. Dick and Lynne Cheney easily beat the fake president’s adjusted gross income of $923,807. But by how much? MORE »

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Nina Olson, the U.S. Taxpayer Advocate at the IRS, releases a report every year filled with all the ways the IRS screws you over (other than making you pay taxes) and how that ought to be fixed. She’s a really lovely, smart woman and pretty much no one ever listens to her. This year, she’s got a brilliant idea: if the IRS audits the shit out of you and can’t find anything because you’re totally innocent, they should give you some money to make up for that. No, seriously, that’s what she said!

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As the longest-serving Republican Senator ever, Ted Stevens has obviously committed enough crime to make Dutch Schultz blush. He’s less ostentatious than your Duke Cunninghams and less perverted than all those under-70 whippersnappers who keep fucking whores and little boys, though, so we never thought we’d see him go down in our lifetime. Which means it’s a pleasant surprise to see the FBI and IRS raiding his huge ski resort home. MORE »

Hey, the IRS and the FBI are raiding Ted Stevens’ house! [KTVA]

* Soon-to-be former congressman John “McSmacky” Sweeney proves he’s more of a vindictive, conspiratorial asshole then we gave him credit for. [TPM Muckraker]
* Plan to shame Americans into voting fails as people too lazy to vote are also too lazy to read. [Freakonomics]
* The SCOTUS murder plot: Ann Coulter’s fault, natch. [Above the Law]
* Karl Rove may leave the administration in “weeks, not months.” Tells Democrats, “You won’t have me to kick you around any more.” [Think Progress]
* Cynthia McKinney’s successor is a no punching, pacifist pussy. [Election Central]
* Swing by Constitution Ave. and pick up your $963. [Congress Blog]
* Ted Stevens afraid to buy green bananas, not scared of running for Senate again in 2008. [Wizbang Politics]
* Rick Santorum, however; won’t run in ‘08 - insuring world is safe for buttlove through at least 2012! [Political Wire]

• President Bush signs border fence bill that neither himself nor Democrats think will actually get built, or if built, do any good. [WP, NYT]

• Opponents of gay marriage cheer pro-gay decision from New Jersey court, hope it will motivate large numbers of anti-gay voters whose homophobia had been dormant. [WP, NYT]
• IRS commissioner’s dubious ethics largely ignored by White House’s ethics lawyer who is his wife. [NYT]
• Hedging their bets for the next Congress, some corporations make last minute contributions to Democratic candidates. [WSJ]
• In a campaign season with record ad spending, you still only remember the ridiculous ones. [WP, WSJ]
• Gas prices may be down, but Exxon-Mobil’s profits aren’t. [WP]
• Black voter turnout negatively affected by ” past shenanigans,” positively affected by hatred of the Bush administration. [NYT]
• Donald Rumsfeld takes criticism from Republicans who don’t have a pressing campaign requirement to be against him, they just are. [WP]