Tag: ireland

German And Irish Leaders Agree: GET THIS FUCKER TRUMP AWAY FROM US!

Ah, the fine art of diplomacy! Donald Trump is not mastering it!

TrumpCare Stumbles Into The ER. Wonkagenda For Thurs., March 16, 2017

Federal judges pee on Muslim Ban 2.0 (yay!), Dutch Nazi Geert Wilder loses (hooray!), and even Paul Ryan admits his health plan needs a pick-me-up. Your morning news brief!
dear leader plz don't steal our emails

Glorious Leader Cures Cancer Forever with Evian

North Korean leader Kim Jon-un has revealed a miracle cancer cure: springwater that has "smaller molecules." See? Commies don't need filthy capitalism to be charlatans!

Trump Building Walls In Ireland Too

Donald Trump acknowledges climate change isn't 'bullshit' or 'a hoax' when it's threatening his Irish golf course.
The most important sacrament is refusing to bake cakes for gays. Religion fact.

America’s Gay-Hating Cake Bakers Would Like To Be Pen Pals With Cake Bigots In Northern Ireland

The owners of Ashers Bakery in Northern Ireland, victims of the growing international menace of gay cake-eaters, might be feeling a little discouraged this week after nearly a year of legal wrangling ended with a Belfast court fining them for the "gay cake...
Beats lightning bolts

Ireland Throatcrams Itself With Marriage Equality, Shoots Gay Rainbows All Over Dublin

Congratulations, Ireland, it's looking like you've made history as the first nation to choose marriage equality through a national referendum. While the official announcement isn't in yet, the early tallies have "Yes" winning by wide margins, with nationwide turnout...

Gays Terrorizing Nice Irish Children With Tender Sounds Of Sodomy

The good Christian people of Ireland have been lately pummeled with woe, on account of the fact that later this spring, voters will decide whether or not to let the homosexuals get married, to EACH OTHER, as if such...
Night of the Loving Dread?

HI-larious Irish Marriage Equality Ad Warns Of The Coming Gaypocalypse

This terribly cute promo for the LGBT Noise March in Dublin, scheduled for this Sunday, riffs on horror movie themes, presenting the videotaped testament of John and Mary, hetero survivors of the Gaypocalypse, who have barricaded themselves inside their...

This Is How Donald Trump Gets Off A Plane (OMFG Video)

Donald Trump is in Ireland -- the CLASSIEST, YOOGEST ISLAND. How do you greet Donald Trump when he gets off a plane? Do you have Bobbsey Triplets playing violin, harp, and Ariel's mermaid voice, in matching red cocktail dresses...

Nigerian Scammer Cons Christian Mingle Lady Out Of $300,000. Let’s All Get To Work, People

A 66-year-old California woman lost $300,000 when "God's Perfect Match" for her on a Christian dating site turned out to be a scammer. The unnamed woman could have lost another $200K, but became skeptical and called law enforcement before...

American Kids Not Getting Dumber, But Not Getting More Smarter Either

Hello Americans. Today we are writing very slowly, because we know that you don’t read very fast. Or good. And we promise to stay away from complicated math, simple math, and any scientific theories more complicated than gravity, because...

Ross Douthat Is Sure You Sinners Can Just Go To Europe Or A Blue State For Your Abortions

As you've watched the Texas Handmaids' Tale- style abortion restrictions go into effect, we bet you've been wishin' and hopin' and prayin' that Ross Douthat, the baby-faced sad-90s-beard-rocking culture scold would share his derp thoughts with you on the...

Apple’s iTax: Think Different

Corporations are people, my friend -- only a very SPECIAL kind of people who are above vulgar affairs like, say, paying taxes, or being held accountable. This is why it's not illegal for Incorporated Americans to evade avoid taxes, even...

Irish Hospital Lets Woman Die Because Her Life Wasn’t ‘Endangered’ Enough For Abortion

We were worried that you, the Wonkette Reader, might not have quite enough rage coursing through you today, and so here is the story, via Dan Savage at The Stranger, of Savita Halappanavar, a 31-year-old woman who died in...

Bill Clinton To Unleash Irish Paramilitaries To Ensure Obama Victory

Some people have made some pretty bold claims about the 2012 election and our present-day electorate -- "most polarized in history," blah blah blah -- ignoring the fact that America did once have an actual civil war, with hundreds...

Barack Obama’s Limo Gets Stuck In Driveway, In Ireland

This is magical: Barack Obama's stupid giant million-ton Cadillac Tank Limo got stuck on a little bump in the driveway leading out of the U.S. Embassy. Listen to the Irish people laugh and cheer. It's like they knew this...