Dissent Hasn’t Forgotten About Iraq Like Some Of Us (Looking At You, Everyone In America)
Thursday, May 14th, 2009
Hey and welcome to Thursday, a day for magazines! So, speaking of welcomes, remember Iraq? We were “welcomed” there in 2003 or thereabouts, right after—and because of?!—9/11. Turns out we liked it so much over there we never left. Ha ha. Well, to be fair, Dissent is still in an Iraq Of The Mind, what with their Spring 2009 Young Hollywood Iraq Package. Let’s invade it! MORE »












Ha ha ha PSYCH, he did not go to “Iran,” as suggested briefly by the LA Times, but Iraq, its neighbor, the one with the war. Wars? The president stopped there even though he clearly hates Iraq, given his eternal pledges to get out of there and “bring the troops home” to Afghanistan. He probably handed out a
Oh here’s some big news: Barack Obama has officially declared defeat in Iraq! War is over and our troops are headed home in shame! Stay with us as our president explains how he is going to pull soldiers out of the Middle East, a little bit at a time, until at some point in the future we have mere tens of thousands of troops overseas instead of hundreds of thousands.
Bill Kristol, the tragically dumb wingnut who wouldn’t be published beyond the Free Republic comments section if not for his famous conservative father who could actually write,
When George W. Bush Junior started that goddamned whining during his
Your Wonkette prides itself on staying current with the latest entrants into the cancerous wasteland of Political Blogging, as it is our duty to inform America about where it should spend its non-Wonkette online time, instead of at the Huffington Post. This week, we have thoroughly studied the new “megablog” from Matt Drudge’s personal slave, Andrew Breitbart. Breitbart
An iconic postwar British playwright who hated America so much, Harold Pinter, died yesterday. He really despised George Bush’s war in Iraq, as well as the other American wars and killings: “The crimes of the U.S. throughout the world have been systematic, constant, clinical, remorseless, and fully documented but nobody talks about them.” Indeed, freedom is on the march. Let’s end with a happier quote: “When the storm is over and night falls and the moon is out in all its glory and all you’re left with is the rhythm of the sea, of the waves, you know what God intended for the human race, you know what paradise is.” [
A very brave man once stood up in a press conference and took off his shoes one at a time and threw them at the President of America, who nimbly ducked because he still has the reflexes of a regular cocaine user. This shoe-throwing fellow was promptly taken to an Iraqi jail, where he was probably beaten, and now he will be tried for, let’s see, “aggression against a foreign head of state” on the very last day of the year. Translation: Muntadar al-Zaidi will be locked in a coffin of live rats and shipped to Dick Cheney’s basement at the Naval Observatory, where the Vice President will spend his New Year’s Eve skinning and stuffing the hapless Iraqi, who will become the latest addition to his growing collection of large mammal specimens.