May 20, 2013
Oh, so the war in Afghanistan is supposed to end soon-ish, like next year, maybe? Sure, we’ve done a pretty good job leaving that country on the brink of yet another horrifying civil war, NEXT. It is now Iran’s turn to be liberationed! Forty-nine percent of Americans, which for you statistically-minded folk means “probably at [...]
Our favorite drink-soaked former Trotskyist popinjay passed away today after a well-publicized bout with esophageal cancer. Christopher Hitchens was 62 years old, which is kind of remarkable when you think about it. We will miss his haughty wit and clever writing as much as we’ll miss saying what a hopeless dupe he was, again and [...]
Our latest War Against Iraq is over, did you hear? The NYT home page helpfully put the years of the war in the headline, like you might for an obituary of Amy Winehouse or Dick Cheney: 2003-2011. That’s a long war, even compared to wars we supposedly won, like World War II. (Not quite as [...]
It’s time for the least-informed people in America to debate the whole world, or something! Welcome, happy thanksgiving! We finally have the CNN livefeed working, and now it’s time to painstakingly document the Brutal Idiocy we are about to be subjected to, for America.
America’s most lovable war criminal, Condoleezza Rice, likes only one thing more than hawking her new book, and that’s warmongering. So now that she’s been removed from the White House (too late), and is back to being a regular old academic-type person, with a new book, what do you suppose she’s doing with all her [...]
We usually click “delete all” on the marketing press releases that flood the Wonkette Tips Line each day, but this Veterans Day Charity Auction thing to help veterans mauled and disfigured by Donald Rumsfeld’s murderous oil-company wars sounded kind of special: “Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld is auctioning the opportunity for a winning bidder [...]
The U.S. State Department has been known to make noise about protecting free speech around the world. Writers and bloggers, the department says, should be allowed to publish their opinions even if they conflict with government dogma. But these freedoms are granted to humanity by the State Department under the strict condition that the people [...]
Deadlines are for losers, right? The Obama Administration will ignore a deadline this year to withdraw U.S. troops from Iraq, because why not. Defense Secretary/CIA chief/Clinton hack Leon Panetta will reportedly keep 4,000 U.S. troops in Iraq for “training,” which is always a great trouble-free way to keep the United States’ claws all over the [...]
Every single day of the last miserable decade, the U.S. Military has pissed away more than $16 million in fraudulent contracts in Afghanistan and Iraq. That’s $60 billion thrown away on wasteful handouts to Pentagon contractors during the wonderful War On Terror — $60 billion thrown away without even killing random goat farmers who committed [...]
Forgotten war criminal Donald Rumsfeld was taking a flight back to one of his mansions for the weekend when he was apprehended and felt up by TSA slobs. This is kind of like Justice, minus the part where Donald Rumsfeld was tortured for sixty-two years and then thrown into the Lake of Fire. Because, of [...]
Your Wonkette has been fastidiously trying to ignore anything related to this bizarre, sad Casey Anthony case, not only here but in life, because once upon a time there was such a thing as an “OJ Simpson trial,” which set everyone a very high bar for 24-hour reality crime shows that probably will never be [...]
Ruh-roh, House lawmakers have found time in their busy day avoiding debt talks to scold Obama for sending a few shiny war toys over to Libya, where NATO is still busy bombing Dictator Death for whatever reason that makes him worse than the guy killing all the Syrians. Oil, probably? Yeah, so quit doing that, [...]
Joe Biden stumbled out of his call-center cubicle yesterday and decided to do something idiotic again. What did the human embarrassment do this time? Oh, just attack some low-paid government biologists for working really hard on an endangered species website that costs all of $125 a year — that’s a hundred-and-twenty-five dollars. Hmm, that sounds [...]
What’s that dang old George W. Bush up to these days? People used to talk about him all the time. Now? It’s like we can’t even remember what the deal was, with that guy. The main thing is that he is very scared of flying baseballs and scary baseball catcher-men. We would be scared, too!
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