Tag Archives: iraq

  Some Men Just Want To Call The World Flat

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Tom Friedman Rented ‘Batman’ Edition

Holy nightmare fuel, Batman!
Most of the news today is predictably awful, so we will just skim it, thank you. Good god, you people aren’t actually relying on Yr Wonkette to be informed, are you? It looks like the government of Hong Kong is trying to avoid going all Tienanmen Square on pro-democracy protesters, so that’s a good thing. The federal government is trying to reach out to disaffected Muslim youth in America to prevent them from joining ISIS and other terrorist groups, a task which is made difficult by the fact that the government has done so much to treat American Muslims like pariahs (and American wingnuts keep calling for more). See the treatment of NPR’s Sarah Abdurrahman during a routine crossing from Canada back into the US last year for an example of actions that may be even more likely than AP History to make people hate this government. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Tom Friedman Rented ‘Batman’ Edition…
  Can Willie Be Our Weed Sensei Too?

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Maureen Dowd Gets Pot Lessons From Willie Nelson Edition

This child can't stand Maureen Dowd either
With no single national calamity to focus on this week, the Sunday New York Times brings us mélange of Big Journalism on Important Topics, the general drift of which leads us to wish we’d stayed in bed. For starters, there’s another must-read piece by Elizabeth Rosenthal, whose specialty is digging into just why the American medical system manages to be the world’s most expensive even though it doesn’t actually cover everyone. No, not even under Obamacare, imagine that. This time out, Rosenthal looks at the phenomenon of surprise extra fees in hospital bills, which can come from seemingly anywhere. As reimbursement rates from both Medicare and private insurance have been cut, hospitals have been bringing in high-priced, out-of-network specialists to help with tasks that often used to be done by residents or other hospital employees. Take, for instance, Rosenthal’s lead example of Peter Drier, a guy who had back surgery that he thought he’d planned for financially, but which resulted in bills from both the surgeon he knew would do the operation (and who readily accepted Drier’s insurance reimbursement, about $6,200), and an “assistant surgeon” who charged just under $117,000 and would not negotiate on the cost: Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Maureen Dowd Gets Pot Lessons From Willie Nelson Edition…
  What's All This Fuss About Eye Cysts Anyway?

Very Important Wingnut: Repeal The First Amendment So ISIS Doesn’t Get Us

Just look up 'Backpfeifengesicht'
Never one to let an opportunity for paranoia pass by, the Family Research Council’s Tony Perkins found a way to link fear of ISIS with one of his favorite fears, the specter of secularism (which is going to make Christianity illegal any day now). Read more on Very Important Wingnut: Repeal The First Amendment So ISIS Doesn’t Get Us…
  We do not accept also too

Sarah Palin Apologizes To America, Finally

Kiss it.
Sarah Palin made an appearance on Sean Hannity’s TV Funhouse for Aggrieved White Men last night to do something she should have done a long time ago. She was brought on the show to discuss the finer points of American foreign policy as it relates to the Islamic State, which is right up there with winking and field dressing a moose on the List Of Things Sarah Palin Is Qualified To Do. And then…oh our dear G_d, she actually apologized. Raw Story and HuffPo bring us this story, which will make your liberal grinch hearts grow three sizes this day. Read more on Sarah Palin Apologizes To America, Finally…
  This is EXCELLENT news for you know who

Here’s Why John McCain Is On Your TV Every Day

Fuck this guy
John McCain is on cable news and Sunday morning talk shows more than anyone in the history of being on television, and sure, we’ve guessed it’s because bookers at every single news channel cannot be bothered to ask Google for the name and number of anyone else in America. But now, per the Washington Post’s interview with CNN Washington Bureau Chief Sam Feist, we have the answer: Read more on Here’s Why John McCain Is On Your TV Every Day…
  clipbait

Jon Stewart Returns From Long Weekend, Finds Out We’re Going To War Again (Video)

Jon Stewart: Wartime anchor mode
Jon Stewart got back from the Toronto film Festival and found out from cable TV that America’s ready to go to war again. So he immediately transitioned to “network anchor war footing” by putting on the largest Old Glory lapel pin possible. He’s ready! This time, the bad guys are ISIS, and darn it, they’re just the worst: Read more on Jon Stewart Returns From Long Weekend, Finds Out We’re Going To War Again (Video)…
  Isn't this part of the job description?

New Pope Semi-Reverses Self, Takes Bold Stand Against War

Thanks for clarifying
Sometimes we like New Pope, like when he is all, “The church should stop obsessing about Bortions and The Gays, Jesus Christ!” and “Greed-is-good Reaganomics ruined everything, let’s all be socialist communist takers instead” and also that time he washed a lady’s feet even though that is not in the Bible, IMPEACH! Read more on New Pope Semi-Reverses Self, Takes Bold Stand Against War…
  Twitter History Is Bunk

John McCain Just Wants To Remind You How Iraq Got This Way (Obama)

Scary Monsters then, Scary Monsters now
John McCain is very upset with that wimpy Barack Obama for not announcing a new policy of bombing the ever-lovin’ bejeezus out of ISIS everywhere, and immediately after the President’s presser today, the Senator From Constant Seething just couldn’t wait to let us know that Obama was Morally Weak: Read more on John McCain Just Wants To Remind You How Iraq Got This Way (Obama)…
  And At That Time A Friend Shall Lose His Friend's Hammer

Pat Robertson Pretty Jazzed About How ISIS Terrorists Are Pulling End Times Prophecy Together

She looks like she's calculating how long it would take to reach the emergency exit
ISIS is a bunch of unstoppable murderous thugs trying to drag the Middle East into a New Medieval Order, and Pat Robertson couldn’t be more tickled by the prospect. You see, children, Brother Pat is excited by their goal of unifying Iraq, Syria, and chunks of Egypt into a radical Islamist caliphate, because he’s pretty sure that would fulfill a prophecy from Isaiah 19: Read more on Pat Robertson Pretty Jazzed About How ISIS Terrorists Are Pulling End Times Prophecy Together…
  clipbait

Jon Stewart Warns ISIS: The Ultimate Terror Lies Ahead, And It Is Bureaucracy (Video)

Activate super suction!
Jon Stewart has this helpful tip for revolutionary Islamist groups: “First rule of Evil: Try not to have your acronym remind people of ’70s live action children’s television shows.” But who are these guys, anyway? If you listen to cable news, they’re pure evil, like a cancer, the worst terrorists ever, and UNSTOPPABLE. But what can we do about them? That’s a gimme: Airstrikes, which are, Stewart says, America’s equivalent of club soda. Something on your shirt? Airstrikes! Terrorist takeover of much of Iraq? You know it. And what else? Wolf Blitzer asks if maybe a secret alliance with Bashar Al Assad might be a good idea, to which Stewart gives the only reasonable reply: “You know, it is shit like this that makes you almost regret us destabilizing the region in the first place.” Funny how that worked out, huh? Read more on Jon Stewart Warns ISIS: The Ultimate Terror Lies Ahead, And It Is Bureaucracy (Video)…
  There'll Be No One Left To Blame Us

Bill Kristol Just Wishes We Could Bomb Somebody And See How It Works Out

Help him!
“Help him, help him,” Bill Kristol was sobbing. “Help him, help him.” “Help who? Help who?” Yossarian called back. “Help who?” “The bombardier, the bombardier,” Kristol cried. “He doesn’t answer. Help the bombardier, help the bombardier.” Read more on Bill Kristol Just Wishes We Could Bomb Somebody And See How It Works Out…
  Serial Loser Says What?

Rick Santorum Has Sexxy Advice For Barack Obama: Stop Being Pathetic About Iraq

On Monday, Rick Santorum dropped by the Family Research Council’s “Washington Watch” radio program, and he shared some of his foreign policy expertise with host and FRC head Tony Perkins. A couple of insights: Iraq is a mess because Barack Obama failed to strong-arm Iraqi President Nouri Al-Maliki into accepting a new status-of-forces agreement. Maliki insisted on sticking to the arrangement that he’d negotiated with George W. Bush, which required a U.S. withdrawal by 2010, but Santorum gives a hint of how he’d be a super diplomatic president who would make the rest of the world respect us. Since the U.S. had more or less put Maliki in office, Obama should have just gone to Maliki and said, “We’ll have a Status of Forces Agreement … or else.” That’s how America does international relations, for heaven’s sake: by bullying our allies into submission, like Jesus advocated. But did Obama make Maliki an offer he couldn’t refuse? No, the dumb weakling. Santorum continued: Read more on Rick Santorum Has Sexxy Advice For Barack Obama: Stop Being Pathetic About Iraq…
  Why Haven't We Bombed Iran Yet?

Very Sane Reactions To The Murder Of James Foley By The Coward Barack Obama

You've all seen the other pic
American photojournalist James Foley was beheaded Tuesday by the group calling itself The Islamic State (or “ISIS, ISIL — whatever you want to call these guys,” in Lindsey Graham’s memorable phrase). The FBI has announced that it believes that a graphic video of the execution is authentic. In addition to the beheading, the video shows another American journalist, Steven Joel Sotloff, whom the video’s narrator threatened to kill as well if President Obama does not cease airstrikes against the group. Read more on Very Sane Reactions To The Murder Of James Foley By The Coward Barack Obama…
 

Live Blog! Obama Takes Vacation From Vacation To Solve All The Problems

Even though President Obama is supposed to be on vacation (impeach!) on Martha’s Vineyard, dahhhling, riding his bicycle and golfing and spending time with his family and hugging it out with Hillary Clinton, he has jetted back to Washington to huddle with his advisers about how everything is terrible. Iraq. Ferguson. Donald Trump (especially that). Read more on Live Blog! Obama Takes Vacation From Vacation To Solve All The Problems…
  It's Baaaaaack

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday Returns, Now With 40% More Racial Tension

Mom always read the Times to us dring the Nixon administration
Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday is back, kids, and of course we have to start our perusal of the Newspaper of Record with its coverage of events overnight in Ferguson, Missouri. Not surprisingly, the midnight curfew declared by Gov. Jay Nixon yesterday didn’t exactly bring peace and quiet — demonstrations continued, the police fired tear gas, and seven demonstrators were arrested. Why the tear gas, after Capt. Ron Johnson had promised that it wouldn’t be used? At a press conference, Johnson Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday Returns, Now With 40% More Racial Tension…
  media circus

Two Stories About Obama, Clinton, ISIS, and Iraq. One Is By Dana Milbank, And One Is Correct

Dana Milbank wants to know why Barack Obama keeps going on vacation even though Dana Milbank assures you that even busy presidents should get vacations and they can keep on presidenting even while they are on vacation but still why is Barack Obama on vacation? Jeb Lund, also known as that dick Mobute, wants you to know that Hillary Clinton can suck a cock. One of these pundits is correct. Read more on Two Stories About Obama, Clinton, ISIS, and Iraq. One Is By Dana Milbank, And One Is Correct…
  now for something really cheerful

Iraqi Jerks Will Cut Off Your Clitoris, For Whatever The Islamic Version Of Jesus Is

#451607616 / gettyimages.com You may have noticed that, apart from the supremely idiotic thoughts of the people who got America into Iraq in the first place, we haven’t been covering the terrible situation in that country much, because there is absolutely zero that’s funny about it. And there’s even less to laugh at in this latest development: The United Nations says that in Mosul, ISIS has ordered all women and girls between the ages of 11 and 45 to undergo female genital mutilation. We hope the Hobby Lobby folks don’t get any ideas. Read more on Iraqi Jerks Will Cut Off Your Clitoris, For Whatever The Islamic Version Of Jesus Is…
  clipbait

As Usual, World Went All To Hell While Jon Stewart Was On Break (Video)

When Jon Stewart takes a vacation, he usually returns to find that some eminently mockable story has broken while he was away. He was on break when Dick Cheney shot that guy in the face, for instance, and when Sara Palin quit (as governor, that time). But returning from this most recent two-week break, Stewart thinks the entire world has gone mad: the border crisis, the Republicans suing Obama, Iraq falling apart as ISIS takes over huge parts of the country, and for those who prefer the taste of “Catastrophe Classic,” Hamas is shooting rockets ineffectually at Israel and Israel is converting large swaths of Gaza to rubble: “Tastes great, more killing.” Read more on As Usual, World Went All To Hell While Jon Stewart Was On Break (Video)…
  the family that preys together stays together

Politico Helps Cheney Family Continues Their Spectacular Charm Offensive Tour

Politico, which is a publication we all still have to pretend isn’t just a retrograde mouthpiece for dickheads, gave human death’s head mask Dick Cheney, his bride of satan, Lynne, and his chip-off-the-old-demon Liz (the gay offspring wisely declined to attend) a lunchtime platform to spew some nonsense and hate about oh, so many things really. You have to hand it to the Cheney family. Their hatefulness is really really well-rounded. Read more on Politico Helps Cheney Family Continues Their Spectacular Charm Offensive Tour…