Yes yes, the War in Iraq is now five years old and has reached 4,000 American deaths. There’s no real plan for reconciliation between the government and the insurgents and various Terrorists, so it’s pretty much stalled forever. In other words, Iraq is super boring and not of interest to anyone. The media knows this, too! According to the Project for Excellence in Journalism, “Iraq coverage by major American news sources has plummeted, to about one-fifth of what it was last summer.” Well maybe if anything *cool* were going on over there, like COWBOYS/INJUNS or COUPS or PASSIONATE SEX or SPACE LASER FIGHTS, they might cover it more. MORE »

The key to any hippie protest is having a wide range of signs, usually homemade, each of which features some wry slogan of the individual protester’s making. This strategy creates a safeguard against the corrosive effects of Mob Rule upon the brain. To illustrate further: a protester is at home reading conspiracy theories on the Internet, and this protester’s mind is churning out revolutionary new postulates by the second. The protester can write the best of them all — “The Bush is burning,” say — on his or her sign. Each protester does this, the Mob Mentality sets in, and voila, it’s a protest: a sea of ugly signs with pathetic phrases and a loud roar of “BWAH BWAH BWAH BWAH” erupting from hundreds of overfed mouths. A Wonkette Photo Tour of today’s best signs, after the jump. MORE »

It is raining now because the Gods want the hippies to have mud slides. An on-the-ground informant has this update: “Note the mass of police closing in on the group, which has since disbanded… The building in the background is the headquarters of Winston and Strawn. What they did to deserve a protest is beyond me.”

Hurrah, Wonkette made a movie! We went to D.C.’s McPherson Square, which has been overrun by lefty protest group Code Pink. They have tents and will probably live there forever, because of the Subprimes. Combine the lameness of Washington D.C. with a vague, day-long protest and there’s only one possible result: a big lady, an old beardy man and a polar bear dancing to a Rage Against The Machine cover band. The Iraq War will have no choice but to stop immediately. More photos and videos from “on the ground” coming shortly! [YouTube]

Washington D.C. is a riot zone today, as Code Pink lefty protesters and various other George Washington and Georgetown University douchebags are protesting the Iraq War. On its birthday, of all times! We’ll be checking out some of these fun, artful protests later today, but feel free to send us any wonderful operative pix you take on your own! Otherwise, enjoy this video of Code Pink’s anti-war “freeze-in” at Union Station yesterday afternoon. It will take a nation of simulated mannequins to stop this war. [YouTube via Nikolas Schiller]

Tomorrow marks the fifth anniversary of our glorious Iraq War, and naturally there are those liberals who still want to stop Freedom while it’s on the March. A whole slate of protests are planned for D.C. tomorrow, and they each have adorable little protest themes, like “Funk the War” and “March of the Dead.” Some protesters will be violent, some will be invading your offices, some will just be. Taken as a whole, however, the planned riots should disrupt traffic just enough to convince the oily Fat Cats to end all Iraq wars immediately. After the jump, a memo with many or all of the planned protests. MORE »

Minnesota Representative Michele Bachmann recently took a little break from her baby-farming to remind voters of how crazy she is. She assured her constituents that God had not abandoned them in Iraq and called global warming “voodoo.” She also warned them about a terrible place called “Democrat land” where something is horrifically wrong with the phone systems. More gibberish after the jump. MORE »

This weekend marks the passing of yet another year in our thousand-year Mesopotamian adventure. Just yesterday it seemed our little Iraq War would be smothered in its crib, too fragile to survive more than a few months. But it surprised us all with its moxie and stick-to-it-iveness, and now our tiger is old enough to go to War Kindergarten. MORE »

Robot slaves may be the foot soldiers in John McCain’s thousand-year surge, if expert predictions prove true. Scientists in the field of artificial intelligence see a time in the not-so-distant future when robots will be able to kill on command without any human intervention. This intriguing development could leave the United States to wage robot wars across the planet with other countries’ robots, making war into a sort of healthy and ultimately deathless exercise, except for the robot slaves who will perish horribly in flames. Scientific proof after the jump. MORE »

So, ever wonder how things are going in Iraq? Like, are the Iraqis really ready to take over their own country and run it? Can we really just up and leave and not make things worse? Embedded Wonkette correspondents tell us: yeah, no, we’re screwed. But, hey, see for yourself in the video, as American soldiers attempt to train Iraqi recruits in the finer art of physical fitness! Then commence drinking.

Just as the Project for Excellence in Journalism releases a grim survey saying, basically, that things are really bad for reporters in Iraq, one intrepid, well-heeled journalist is leaving East Hampton and parachuting into Iraq’s Dunbar Province for some lens work. Indeed, East Hampton is known for many things (celebrities, bad taste, social climbers, nouveau riche). War correspondents? not so much. So, how exactly does an East Hampton native prepare for dropping into the shit in Iraq? Well, for starters, it probably helps being somewhat clueless and having little or no experience in journalism and/or war reporting. Second? Drink heavily and self medicate! I’m sure there’s a list of things to pack, too. Let’s see… combat boots and helmet? Check. Camera and computer? Check. Polo mallet? Check. MORE »