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Posts Tagged “Iraq War”

campaign ads

MoveOn.org Celebrates 'Mission Accomplished' With Delicious Cake

The liberal terrorists at MoveOn.org are launching a $1 million ad campaign (heyo!) against John McCain, because who the hell else is gonna do it, JESUS H. CHRIST (Mike Huckabee)? The first ad is running in some states where McCain has been running his own ads unopposed, and it features a birthday cake. Or an anniversary cake. It's an Iraq Birthday-Anniversary Cake, celebrating 5-100 years of fun in the sun! Stupid liberals always miss the point — if you make cake analogous to a vote for John McCain, everyone will vote for John McCain. Check out the Elitism ad below. More »

DUMB OLD GEORGE W. BUSH LOATHED BY TELEVISION COMMUNITY: Remember when George W. Bush appeared on NBC's Deal or No Deal program Monday night and joked that he's "thrilled to be anywhere with high ratings these days," before honoring a decorated war veteran? Well this particular episode of Deal brought in the lowest ratings the show has ever had. [NYP]

fun in the sun

American Investors Plan 'Disneyland' Thingy For Baghdad

Llewellyn Werner is a California investor who doesn't like death, but does like Disneyland. Most of us don't draw the distinction, but Werner wants to replace the former with the latter in Baghdad with "The Baghdad Zoo and Entertainment Experience," a developing "American-style amusement park that will feature a skateboard park, rides, a concert theatre and a museum." Christ, wasn't the plan to get the oil first and then destroy them with Americanization? Priorities, people. More »

howie mandel knows what's up

George Bush Honors Soldier On TeeVee



Here is American President George W. Bush's special message to a friendly contestant on NBC's Deal Or No Deal last night. The contestant was a soldier in Iraq who won many Purple Hearts. Bush honors his service by making jokes about how low his approval rating is and how Congress is incapable of effecting positive change on a single person's life. [NBC]

starving the beast

A Tax Day Celebration Of War Profiteers And The Citizens Who Hate Them

Today is Tax Day, which means a lot of liberals JUST LIKE YOU get to whine about how they are involuntarily funding the War when what they really hate is paying taxes, just like "ordinary Americans." Join us in our tour of Daily Kos commenters yodelling like Libertarians about how much, and why, they hate taxes. More »

congressional testimony

Hillary Clinton Asks Her Dumb Little 'Questions' About Iraq


Hillary Clinton pretended to be a senator during this morning's Armed Services Committee hearings with Gen. David Petraeus and U.S. Ambassador to Iraq Ryan Crocker. She asked him all sorts of questions about why Barack Obama is so dumb. That, and Iraq. Look at how seriously she speaks! She is such a Tuff Guy sometimes, especially when David Petraeus starts shooting at her with snipers. And if you want to see her introductory speech, it is after the jump. She is very serious in that one too! Does America was a serious president, or John McCain? More »

congressional testimony

Wonkette Operatives Cover Petraeus Hearing On Capitol Hill!


A reader writes, "Did you check out Dana Milbank of the Washington Post's antics two rows over Petraeus's right shoulder during his opening statement? Squirming, standing, twisting, straining to read the Code Pink banners, paying no attention to any of Petraeus's comments about life and death nor the situation on the ground in Iraq - just making a complete and utter nuisance and distraction of himself?"

Why yes, yes we did — we believe he was even caught on film. [Photo via NYT]

victory

Bush Excited About Reemergence of Horrible Iraq Bloodshed!

The Surge has already worked, but now it is starting to un-work. The Green Zone in Baghdad is under attack, and there is a battle in Basra between various factions of Shiites, Sunni militias, U.S. soldiers and the fake Iraq army. Famous "Shiite cleric" Muqtada al-Sadr's cease-fire with the Maliki government has splintered his group, and now al-Sadr is under pressure to disregard the cease-fire entirely. Sunni insurgents have only been peaceful because the Americans bribed them, but now they are for some reason shooting at each other too. Temporary calm has devolved into chaos, forever. And that is why President George W. Bush responded today that this is a "very positive" development. Al Qaeda is on the run, or something! More »

that thing

Iraq War Snoozefest Bores Journalists

Yes yes, the War in Iraq is now five years old and has reached 4,000 American deaths. There's no real plan for reconciliation between the government and the insurgents and various Terrorists, so it's pretty much stalled forever. In other words, Iraq is super boring and not of interest to anyone. The media knows this, too! According to the Project for Excellence in Journalism, "Iraq coverage by major American news sources has plummeted, to about one-fifth of what it was last summer." Well maybe if anything *cool* were going on over there, like COWBOYS/INJUNS or COUPS or PASSIONATE SEX or SPACE LASER FIGHTS, they might cover it more. More »

photo tours

A Children's Treasury of Glorious Hippie Protest Signs

The key to any hippie protest is having a wide range of signs, usually homemade, each of which features some wry slogan of the individual protester's making. This strategy creates a safeguard against the corrosive effects of Mob Rule upon the brain. To illustrate further: a protester is at home reading conspiracy theories on the Internet, and this protester's mind is churning out revolutionary new postulates by the second. The protester can write the best of them all — "The Bush is burning," say — on his or her sign. Each protester does this, the Mob Mentality sets in, and voila, it's a protest: a sea of ugly signs with pathetic phrases and a loud roar of "BWAH BWAH BWAH BWAH" erupting from hundreds of overfed mouths. A Wonkette Photo Tour of today's best signs, after the jump. More »

the weathers hate our freedoms

Mystery Protest On Rain-Slicked D.C. Corner!

It is raining now because the Gods want the hippies to have mud slides. An on-the-ground informant has this update: "Note the mass of police closing in on the group, which has since disbanded... The building in the background is the headquarters of Winston and Strawn. What they did to deserve a protest is beyond me."

iraq anniversary protests

Polar Bears, Hippies And Scary Cover Bands End Iraq War!


Hurrah, Wonkette made a movie! We went to D.C.'s McPherson Square, which has been overrun by lefty protest group Code Pink. They have tents and will probably live there forever, because of the Subprimes. Combine the lameness of Washington D.C. with a vague, day-long protest and there's only one possible result: a big lady, an old beardy man and a polar bear dancing to a Rage Against The Machine cover band. The Iraq War will have no choice but to stop immediately. More photos and videos from "on the ground" coming shortly! [YouTube]

iraq anniversary protests

Code Pink Protesters Lay Siege To Union Station


Washington D.C. is a riot zone today, as Code Pink lefty protesters and various other George Washington and Georgetown University douchebags are protesting the Iraq War. On its birthday, of all times! We'll be checking out some of these fun, artful protests later today, but feel free to send us any wonderful operative pix you take on your own! Otherwise, enjoy this video of Code Pink's anti-war "freeze-in" at Union Station yesterday afternoon. It will take a nation of simulated mannequins to stop this war. [YouTube via Nikolas Schiller]

iraq anniversary protests

Iraq War Protesters To Harass Washington D.C., Forever

Tomorrow marks the fifth anniversary of our glorious Iraq War, and naturally there are those liberals who still want to stop Freedom while it's on the March. A whole slate of protests are planned for D.C. tomorrow, and they each have adorable little protest themes, like "Funk the War" and "March of the Dead." Some protesters will be violent, some will be invading your offices, some will just be. Taken as a whole, however, the planned riots should disrupt traffic just enough to convince the oily Fat Cats to end all Iraq wars immediately. After the jump, a memo with many or all of the planned protests. More »

kooks

Rep. Michele Bachmann Hates Terrorists, Compact Fluorescents

Minnesota Representative Michele Bachmann recently took a little break from her baby-farming to remind voters of how crazy she is. She assured her constituents that God had not abandoned them in Iraq and called global warming "voodoo." She also warned them about a terrible place called "Democrat land" where something is horrifically wrong with the phone systems. More gibberish after the jump. More »

milestones

Happy 5th Birthday, Iraq War!

This weekend marks the passing of yet another year in our thousand-year Mesopotamian adventure. Just yesterday it seemed our little Iraq War would be smothered in its crib, too fragile to survive more than a few months. But it surprised us all with its moxie and stick-to-it-iveness, and now our tiger is old enough to go to War Kindergarten. More »

the art of war

Bloodthirsty Robot Hoodlums Will Be Terrorists And Soldiers Of The Future

Robot slaves may be the foot soldiers in John McCain’s thousand-year surge, if expert predictions prove true. Scientists in the field of artificial intelligence see a time in the not-so-distant future when robots will be able to kill on command without any human intervention. This intriguing development could leave the United States to wage robot wars across the planet with other countries’ robots, making war into a sort of healthy and ultimately deathless exercise, except for the robot slaves who will perish horribly in flames. Scientific proof after the jump. More »

fun in iraq

At This Rate, We Are Never Leaving Iraq

So, ever wonder how things are going in Iraq? Like, are the Iraqis really ready to take over their own country and run it? Can we really just up and leave and not make things worse? Embedded Wonkette correspondents tell us: yeah, no, we’re screwed. But, hey, see for yourself in the video, as American soldiers attempt to train Iraqi recruits in the finer art of physical fitness! Then commence drinking.