iraq war
Dick Cheney Offers Opinions, Irony Meters Become Sentient Long Enough To Jump From Tall Buildings
How unfair is it that (insert name of a beloved family member/spouse/friend/celebrity/pet/serial killer/Iraqi citizen/American soldier here) is dead and Dick Cheney still roams the earth? Just the thought of that ancient visage sneering at all of us from the crypt where he hangs out in between feedings is enough to send yr Wonkette into apoplectic [...]
Never Fear, Arkansas, Your Democrat Senator Will Never Come Between You And Getting Murdered With A Gun
Since it has been about 5 months since the President was inaugurated, it is about 4.5 months past time for the 2014 election season to heat up, because this town runs on scandal, protests, and never-ending electioning. Who’s opening their maggot-laden, corn-fed piehole this week? None other than conservative extremely conservative Republican Democratic Senator Mark [...]
The Iraq War – 20 Friedman Unit Edition
As we have all been reminded repeatedly, tragically and even sickeningly, the 10th Anniversary of the Iraq War was this week, and in his latest column, New York Times mustache-support unit and cultural symbol of vague idiocy Thomas Friedman joined the ranks of pundits using the occasion to either excuse their support for the war [...]
Iraq War Totally Worth Its New Six-Trillion-Dollar Price Tag
Good news everyone! We have received an invoice for the Iraq war and it is only going to cost us around $6 trillion American dollars. Now, this may SOUND like a high price tag, but let’s keep it in perspective by remembering that we liberated the Iraqis using freedom bombs, and the cost of that [...]
A Childrens’ Treasury Of People You Never Wanted To Think About Ever Again
Since this month marks the ten-year anniversary of the War to Soothe George W. Bush’s Daddy Issues, and because our blood pressure has not skyrocketed to the point where it blew out the cuff the nurse strapped around our arm at our last physical, your Wonkette thought it would be fun to take a look [...]
America Celebrates Decade Of Wedded Bliss To Iraq By Going Broke, Linking Petraeus To Torture
This month marks the ten-year anniversary of the invasion of Iraq and Operation YARRRGHHHH FREEDOM LIBERATORS DERPDERPDERP. Do you remember where you were when you first heard our brave troops had crossed the border in their insufficiently armored vehicles? We were in a cubicle in Burbank, CA, reading CNN and facepalming, but as much as [...]
Never Forget The Summer Bin Laden Briefly Distracted Us From Saddam Hussein
In the summer of 2001, while most Americans were first and foremost worried about shark attacks, our newly installed neocon foreign policy leaders had their eyes on the real enemy, the one man who was working tirelessly to destroy us: Saddam Hussein. This evil dictator, whose plans for world conquest had received a minor setback [...]
Chris Matthews: Cable News Never Would Have Let That Bad Iraq Reporting Go Unchecked
We don’t know what his exact words were, but according to this write-up of a recent media panel in Boston, Chris Matthews was cryogenically frozen during the years 2002 and 2003: “Hardball host Chris Matthews argued that because of the rise of opinion-based news networks, the non-critical aspect of the media is gone, going as [...]
Hero Veteran Gets Court Permission To Sue The Pants Off Donald Rumsfeld
At some point during the Iraq War, the United States decided not only to torture and unlawfully imprison all the furriner brown people it could get its hands on; it also decided to start torturing and unlawfully imprisoning its own citizens as well. Hooray for totalitarianism! During the war, Old Rummy Rum gave one of [...]
U.S. Military, Iraq Still Hoping U.S. Will Keep Troops There Forever
Senior U.S. and Iraqi military officials have been in negotiations about keeping some 10,000 American troops in Iraq beyond the scheduled withdrawal of all U.S. forces at year’s end, according to officials familiar with the talks. But the discussions face political obstacles in both countries, and have faltered in recent weeks because of Iraqi worries [...]
Donald Trump Has Team of Gumshoes In Hawaii Looking For Birth Certificate
Donald Trump has certainly given a very interesting interview to the Today show, considering he’s going to be our next president of the United States and all! “Let me just say something. There’s nobody more militaristic than me.” Cool! It’s about time we had a president with no experience in politics who is upfront about [...]
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