Tag Archives: iraq war

  lies and the lying liars who tell them

BREAKING: George Bush Never Lied About WMDs, Was Gullible Idiot All Along

He looks a little like George Tenet.
Far be it from us to argue with one of the esteemed legal minds responsible for exonerating Oliver North, but this editorial by Judge Laurence Silberman arguing against the proposition that George W. Bush lied the country into war with Iraq is some rank garbage. Plus it puts us on the same side of an issue as human thumb Ron Fournier, which is not the way we want to begin our Monday. Read more on BREAKING: George Bush Never Lied About WMDs, Was Gullible Idiot All Along…
  Misty Watercolored Memories Of The Way We War

Brian Williams Takes Break From Nightly News, Will Try To Remember Not To Show Up Anyway

Williams definitely remembers that trench coat
After apologizing for saying he’d been aboard a helicopter that was hit by a rocket-propelled grenade in 2003, Brian Williams announced this weekend that he is taking himself off the NBC Nightly News for several days because “it has become painfully apparent to me that I am presently too much a part of the news, due to my actions.” Yes, maybe just a little. Our favorite part of the whole brouhaha is seeing Williams called an outrageous liar by rightwing blogs that have spent years insisting Barack Obama is a probably-Muslim illegal alien who instituted a socialist government takeover of health care that includes death panels. The real question, of course, is whether it was Brian Williams who gave the stand-down order in Benghazi. Read more on Brian Williams Takes Break From Nightly News, Will Try To Remember Not To Show Up Anyway…
  Another Beneficiary Of Wingnut Welfare

Allen West To Head Up ‘Think’ Tank. Stop Laughing, You Guys, It’s Not Funny.

Finally a place for his talents
Congratulations to disgraced torturer ex-Rep. Allen West on finding a jerb! (We were going to say “honest work,” but this is Allen West we’re talking about, after all.) According to a big ol’ press release, come Jan. 2, 2015, the former disgraced colonel and former one-term congressman will become CEO of the “National Center for Policy Analysis,” a Dallas-based think tank that shills for the oil and insurance industries and thinks that global warming is a big conspiracy. And yes, it probably gets money from Koch Industries, too. Read more on Allen West To Head Up ‘Think’ Tank. Stop Laughing, You Guys, It’s Not Funny….
  The Revisionist Thing

Rightwing Reads NYT Headline, Declares Bush Was Right About Everything

Miss him yet?
As we noted Wednesday, the New York Times has discovered that, after invading Iraq to keep Saddam Hussein from killing everybody with his huge Weapons of Mass Destruction program, which definitely included an ongoing program of building new chemical and nuclear weapons, the Bush administration did everything it could do to cover up the actual chemical weapons — relics from the Iran-Iraq war — that they did find. Read more on Rightwing Reads NYT Headline, Declares Bush Was Right About Everything…
  its a gas gas gas

U.S. Found Chemical Weapons In Iraq, All Right (The Ones We Gave Saddam)

Oh, never mind: It says 'Made in USA'
The New York Times has a huge Pulitzer-bait story by C.J. Chivers about injuries to U.S. military forces from old, unstable chemical weapons in Iraq, and how the Bush administration and the Pentagon covered it all up. It’s big, it’s a jaw-dropping exposé of shoddy treatment of soldiers, and you should read it. Read more on U.S. Found Chemical Weapons In Iraq, All Right (The Ones We Gave Saddam)…
  bqhatevwr

Bill Kristol Joins Twitter, Will Now Be Wrong 240 Characters At A Time Or Whatever

You Are Hearing My Voice
Wowie, kids, here’s big news: Mr. Excitement himself, William Kristol, the most spectacularly wrong pundit in the history of ever, has gone and gotten himself a Twitter account. Now, instead of having to wait a few days between columns or Fox News appearances in which he bloviates over who we should bomb next, we can hear it immediately. For that matter, given the astonishing number of places he’d like to bomb, he may as well just rig up a script to post “We need immediate military action in [country name] if America is to remain a credible world power” a couple times a day. Read more on Bill Kristol Joins Twitter, Will Now Be Wrong 240 Characters At A Time Or Whatever…
  Let It Go

Cool Robin Williams Story, Maureen Dowd

Maureen Dowd has been eating jazz cookies again. One time she met Robin Williams, which makes her think about her friend Michael Kelly, who later died covering the war in Iraq, and that’s why Hillary Clinton is a monster. Wait, what? Read more on Cool Robin Williams Story, Maureen Dowd…
  now for something really cheerful

Iraqi Jerks Will Cut Off Your Clitoris, For Whatever The Islamic Version Of Jesus Is

#451607616 / gettyimages.com You may have noticed that, apart from the supremely idiotic thoughts of the people who got America into Iraq in the first place, we haven’t been covering the terrible situation in that country much, because there is absolutely zero that’s funny about it. And there’s even less to laugh at in this latest development: The United Nations says that in Mosul, ISIS has ordered all women and girls between the ages of 11 and 45 to undergo female genital mutilation. We hope the Hobby Lobby folks don’t get any ideas. Read more on Iraqi Jerks Will Cut Off Your Clitoris, For Whatever The Islamic Version Of Jesus Is…
  call to action for worthly wokette skum

All Y’all Need To Sign This Petition To Make George W. Bush Ambassador To The Iraq Such As

Nobody was all that surprised when the White House’s petition site got turned into a vehicle for silliness, like the petition calling on the U.S. Government to build its very own Death Star, or to deport Piers Morgan for not loving guns the way a real American should. And then there’s the stupid ones, like the suggestion that we name sportsball goalkeeper Tim Howard as “secretary of DEFENSE,” haw-haw. But we’re pretty sure that Wonkers can all get behind this excellent suggestion: Appoint George W. Bush the next ambassador to Iraq. Read more on All Y’all Need To Sign This Petition To Make George W. Bush Ambassador To The Iraq Such As…
  You Gotta Ask Me Nicely

Blackwater’s Erik Prince Wrote A Book About Erik Prince, And How He Is Awesome

With Blackwater back in the news, Yr Wonkette is pleased to bring you this review of a book written by Blackwater founder Erik Prince. This post is made possible by a generous grant from the Edward Bernays Foundation for Accuracy in Memoirs and War Reportage.  The book Civilian Warriors is Blackwater founder Erik Prince’s Song of Himself. It is a tome in which Prince celebrates himself, and sings his body electric, and what he assumes you shall assume. Does Blackwater founder Erik Prince contradict himself? Very well, then he contradicts himself, he is large, he contains multitudes. Civilian Warriors leaps nimbly between either Prince himself and one ghostwriter or Prince himself and several ghostwriters, and it’s legitimately difficult to tell the difference (sometimes). It’s also a masterpiece in having your heavily armed paramilitary cake and eating it too. Read more on Blackwater’s Erik Prince Wrote A Book About Erik Prince, And How He Is Awesome…
  our men in baghdad

Blackwater Employee In Iraq’s Foolproof Job Security Plan: Threaten To Kill People Who Wanted To Fire Him

The mercenaries of Blackwater are truly the gift that keeps on giving. Why, they couldn’t stop giving bullets to a bunch of poor Iraqi civilians back in 2007, to mention just one of many, many, many incidents, and a few of them are finally standing trial for it. Now some State Department documents related to the case have leaked, and wouldn’t you know it, when they weren’t busy murdering Iraqi civilians, these charming gentlemen out of Graham Greene’s worst nightmares were threatening the lives of a couple of State employees charged with making sure they were doing their jobs. Let us descend into this script treatment for a terrible Oliver Stone movie together. Read more on Blackwater Employee In Iraq’s Foolproof Job Security Plan: Threaten To Kill People Who Wanted To Fire Him…
  clipbait

Here’s Jon Stewart On The Latest Outbreak Of ‘America’s Tragedy Herpe, Dick Cheney’ (Video)

Iraq is back in the news, and so no one should be surprised, says Jon Stewart, that we’ve had another flare-up of “America’s tragedy herpe, Dick Cheney,” who’s returned like a venereal wart of sadness and fail. Fine, Dick, go ahead and Read more on Here’s Jon Stewart On The Latest Outbreak Of ‘America’s Tragedy Herpe, Dick Cheney’ (Video)…
  leave lord vader aloooooone

Judith Miller Simply Will Not Have You Second-Guessing The Heroes Who Started The Iraq War

Since they’re getting the old Iraq War band together for a Greatest Misses tour, it only stands to reason that we’d hear from the group’s publicist, Judith Miller. On Fox News Friday, Miller said that it is just SO UNFAIR for anyone to doubt the counsel of the people who were so spectacularly wrong on Iraq the first time around. After all, they probably have a lot that they can contribute, considering their expertise in being dead wrong. Maybe they’ll be right this time. It could happen! Read more on Judith Miller Simply Will Not Have You Second-Guessing The Heroes Who Started The Iraq War…
  clipbait

Stephen Colbert Is Loving The Iraq Pack’s Reunion Tour (Video)

On Thursday’s Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert welcomed the reunion tour of his favorite band, even though they’re all just playing the base. John McCain is absolutely right, Stephen says: in 2009, America had the war won, “when we left Iraq a peaceful, smoldering democracy.” And even the leader of the Iraq Pack, Old Dead Eyes, is back, even if that mean old liberal Megyn Kelly is attacking him. Read more on Stephen Colbert Is Loving The Iraq Pack’s Reunion Tour (Video)…
  murder ain't cheap

Let’s All Go Donate To Dick And Liz Cheney’s Cool New Non-Profit And Have War Forever

It was only yesterday that we had to endure Dick and Liz Cheney’s Op-Ed at the Wall Street Journal. It was a quaint little trip down memory lane, reminiscing about how when Cheney was the puppetmaster of one George W. Bush, everything was the coolest because we had war all the time. The Cheneys aren’t going to rest on their laurels and just sit around calling for perpetual war. No, they’re putting other people’s money where their mouths are by starting the Alliance for a Stronger America, a non-profit entity which appears only to exist to smack talk about Obama. We know that American security, peace, and freedom depend upon reversing the dangerous policies of the Obama Administration. Oh, and also the Alliance exists so that WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR. Read more on Let’s All Go Donate To Dick And Liz Cheney’s Cool New Non-Profit And Have War Forever…
  fuck you you fucking fuck

Dick And Liz Cheney Wax Nostalgic About How Great War Was When They Ran Things

We never remember what the paywall rules are over at the Wall Street Journal, so we can’t guarantee you’ll even be able to read the the link we’re about to yell about, but once you check out the yelling, you may not actually want to read the WSJ piece. Lord knows we wish we hadn’t. We already knew this week was Old Home Week for Iraq War Enthusiasts, thanks to Tony Blair’s lengthy piece about how much he loved invading Iraq so much that he would gay marry invading Iraq. It was really only a matter of time before someone fed Dick Cheney enough human blood that he could crawl out from his subterranean lair, scoop up his equally bloodthirsty spawn, and bludgeon one of his slaves until they ghostwrote him a WSJ thing about how kickass everything in Iraq was until the black guy came along and fucked it all up. Read more on Dick And Liz Cheney Wax Nostalgic About How Great War Was When They Ran Things…
  he regrets nothing

Tony Blair Loved Invading Iraq, Is History’s Politest Greatest Monster

What have we here? Oh, just war cheerleader/criminal/former British Prime Minister Tony Blair frantically trying to wipe the Iraqi blood off his mouth and the permanent stain off his soul by penning one bazookabillion words for The Independent about how the 2003 invasion of Iraq WAS TOO a great idea and also too anything bad that happened totally wasn’t his fault, thank you very much. Read more on Tony Blair Loved Invading Iraq, Is History’s Politest Greatest Monster…
  known unknowns

Texas Senator John Cornyn Sure Wishes More Americans Could Have Died In Iraq

Texas Senator and evil hosebeast John Cornyn is pretty unhappy with Barack Obama for his failure to keep Iraq out of the hands of radical militants, and wants some answers. If more and more of Iraq is falling to al Qaeda-affiliated militias, then just what the hell was that whole war for? Read more on Texas Senator John Cornyn Sure Wishes More Americans Could Have Died In Iraq…
  clipbait

Jon Stewart Drops Cluster Of F Bombs on V.A. Clusterf**k (Video)

Jon Stewart was in full Rant Mode on Monday’s The Daily Show, driven to his swear jar by the recent revelations of patient waiting lists at Veterans Administration hospitals. The problem, he says, is that we’re really good at thanking veterans for their service, but not so great at actually providing them with the services we said they deserve. To make matters worse, the perverse structure of the performance incentives allowed hospitals to game the system by submitting records that made it look like they were providing care, without actually providing that care, in an effort to, as one memo put it “get off the [V.A.’s] bad boys list.” Unfortunately, says Stewart, that also qualified them for another list: “The Big Book of Assholes.” (Stewart does graciously apologize to the guy in the stock photo, explaining that that’s just the picture that comes up when you Google “asshole.”) Read more on Jon Stewart Drops Cluster Of F Bombs on V.A. Clusterf**k (Video)…
  clipbait

Jon Stewart Napalms Fox & GOP For Selective Benghazi Outrage (Video)

As you may have noticed, the conservative politico-media nexus has shifted focus: with Obamacare Fear no longer getting much traction, they’re back to Benghazi Outrage again. And here’s Jon Stewart to answer Fox News’s repeated question: Why aren’t Americans as outraged as Fox News knows they should be? Just maybe, says Stewart, it has something to do with having very recently experienced an administration that really knew how to distort and manipulate. With Benghazi, after all, Fox seems to think that after “hundreds of cable news stories about Benghazi, 13 Congressional hearings, 50 further Congressional briefings and 25,000 pages of official findings … that if we all only knew about it — we would care.” But the only thing that we’ve heard more about in the last year and a half, says Stewart, is maybe the Kardashians. Read more on Jon Stewart Napalms Fox & GOP For Selective Benghazi Outrage (Video)…
  columns of mass stupidity

Instapundit Glenn Reynolds Will Now Dumbsplain Why Barack Obama Is Like A Black Neville Chamberlain

If there is one thing for which we can always count on the Ole Perfesser, Glenn “Instapundit” Reynolds, it is his propensity for churning out columns of such rank stupidity and willful ignorance that we wonder if all his former students might have an easily winnable class action lawsuit against him for stealing all their tuition monies in exchange for whatever “education” he pretended to impart to them. Also he’s kind of a schmuck. So let us dive into whatever this tripe is that the screeching poo-flingers of the rightwing monkey house were passing around the Intertubes yesterday, and bang our heads against our desks in a concordant symphony, for freedom: Read more on Instapundit Glenn Reynolds Will Now Dumbsplain Why Barack Obama Is Like A Black Neville Chamberlain…
  parties of mass destruction

Florida Man Cites ‘Bush Doctrine’ After Shooting Neighbors; Judge Undecided On Whether Dick Cheney Can Testify

Hey Florida! How’s it hanging? Kinda loose, and to the right of unfathomable idiot-crazy just like always maybe? Taking a cue from both Stand Your Ground and the Bush Doctrine (yes, the Bush Doctrine, just wait) Florida man William T. Woodward did the only thing he could to defend himself from imminent danger, he “snuck up” on three of his neighbors and unleashed a campaign of shock and awe on their Labor Day backyard barbecue in the form of over 50 rounds, killing two and severely injuring the third (the “shot him 11 times” kind of injured). Read more on Florida Man Cites ‘Bush Doctrine’ After Shooting Neighbors; Judge Undecided On Whether Dick Cheney Can Testify…