President Bush just got finished with his press conference at the Pentagon, in which he detailed his latest Pentagon briefing. From the sounds of things, each Pentagon briefing is much the same as all the others — freedom is marching, constant elections will soon replace potable water as a source of refreshment, a new Middle Eastern government based on Sharia law is just what the American taxpayers wanted, the Iraqi forces are well on their way to retaking Hadrian’s Wall from the Celtic hordes, et cetera, ad infinitum, with liberty and justice for all, strategery. MORE »

• Kathleen Parker recalls a high school book report and undergoes a severe mental paroxysm during which she realizes that if it weren’t for narcissists like her, bloggers would have piloted the planet into the sun by now. MORE »

We’re often accused of wiseassery over her at Wonkette, but the truth is, we want nothing more for the people of Iraq to be free. The same kittens and picnics and Death Cab For Cutie concerts we take for granted in America are all things we wish the Iraqi people to enjoy. They deserve to have their own Al-Gawkiri network lampooning their social elites. They deserve to have their Lives Hacked, their Grids Skipped. They deserve a weekly feature, perhaps titled Sunni-Controlled Regions Lose that depicts the fashion disasters of their own MDMA-soaked clubkids. And they deserve a democracy strong enough to support a Wonkette of their own, because while you may not know it, there is assfucking in Iraq. And it is very dirty, we assure you. MORE »

Wonkette’s Forward Operating Base Operative writes in with an update on the Iraqi elections, including a heart-warming scene that makes us think maybe the Lincoln Group was onto something with their Osama bin Moe sitcom idea:

As I was driving in my Stryker to a polling site to let my Iraqi born interpreters to vote, one told me he thought this election was another “poke in the insurgents eye.” I thought about this, then I did the old “Three Stooges eye poke” thing to him…which he deftly parried with the old “Three Stooges hand in front of the nose” move. Then we both did the nyuk, nyuk, nyuk bit…and laughed till our balls hurt.

FOBO skips over the “Tom Clancy” stuff and goes straight for Marxist Brothers right after the jump.

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