iraq
Bloodthirsty Chickenhawks Can’t Decide Whether Iraq Invasion Was The Best Ever or The Bestest Ever!!!
Are people STILL talking about Iraq, because OMG, that is sooooo 10 years ago! Only dirty fucking hippies who hate America and freedom are still obsessing about embarrassing lame-o Code Pinkish questions like, “What the hell was the point of that again?” and “Did we find those weapons of mass destruction yet?” and “Could we [...]
Iraq War Totally Worth Its New Six-Trillion-Dollar Price Tag
Good news everyone! We have received an invoice for the Iraq war and it is only going to cost us around $6 trillion American dollars. Now, this may SOUND like a high price tag, but let’s keep it in perspective by remembering that we liberated the Iraqis using freedom bombs, and the cost of that [...]
A Childrens’ Treasury Of People You Never Wanted To Think About Ever Again
Since this month marks the ten-year anniversary of the War to Soothe George W. Bush’s Daddy Issues, and because our blood pressure has not skyrocketed to the point where it blew out the cuff the nurse strapped around our arm at our last physical, your Wonkette thought it would be fun to take a look [...]
America Celebrates Decade Of Wedded Bliss To Iraq By Going Broke, Linking Petraeus To Torture
This month marks the ten-year anniversary of the invasion of Iraq and Operation YARRRGHHHH FREEDOM LIBERATORS DERPDERPDERP. Do you remember where you were when you first heard our brave troops had crossed the border in their insufficiently armored vehicles? We were in a cubicle in Burbank, CA, reading CNN and facepalming, but as much as [...]
Let These Chickenhawks Explain You Why Chuck Hagel/Military Service Are Irrelevant In Post-9/11 World
Are you sick of hearing about Chuck Hagel? We are sick of hearing about Chuck Hagel too, but there are so many pearls of wisdom and hidden insights in this New York Times article about him that we cannot resist sharing it with you. For example: did you know that being a war hero does [...]
Jury: KBR Caused Troops’ Cancer; KBR: Pay Up, America!
A guest post from your comrade “Glasspusher.” Remember when liberals had Dick Cheney’s Halliburton to be OUTRAGED about, like common wingnuts have a black president? Well, jump in your time machine and set it for “2002,” because Halliburton and its subsidiary, KBR, are whispering your name from across space and time! Yes, now we find [...]
In Bout Of Not-Affirmative Action, GOP To Promote Party’s Lone Remaining Black Representative
Rep. Tim Scott (R-SC), who is the Other Black House Republican Besides Allen West, is your newest Senator from South Carolina, after Jim Demint left to grift money at the Heritage Foundation! YAY!!! Many people think that Tim Scott is somehow better because he is more moderate than Allen West, which is sort of like a fried [...]
Mitt Romney Not Waiting Around All Day For You To Return His Call About Your Dead Son, Lady
Mitt Romney is a very busy man, you guys. He is busy now that he’s running for president, and he was busy back when he was a governor. So if your son dies and he gives you a call the day of his funeral, you should probably call him back RIGHT AWAY because he is [...]
Never Forget The Summer Bin Laden Briefly Distracted Us From Saddam Hussein
In the summer of 2001, while most Americans were first and foremost worried about shark attacks, our newly installed neocon foreign policy leaders had their eyes on the real enemy, the one man who was working tirelessly to destroy us: Saddam Hussein. This evil dictator, whose plans for world conquest had received a minor setback [...]
Former Iraq Ambassador Ryan Crocker Arrested For DUI, Hit-And-Run
They say that astronauts become alcoholics after returning from space, because they were in space, which was better. This is perfectly analogous to the situation of former U.S. Ambassador Ryan Crocker — the man who SAVED IRAQ along with Gen. Petraeus and then… [somethinged] Afghanistan with Gen. Petraeus — who returned from seeing constant murder [...]
Minnesota Republicans Fragging Each Other Over Viking Stadium
It has been over a month since a crazed member of the Tea Party has Swift Boated a double-amputee Iraq veteran. Luckily, Minnesota state Rep. Mary Kriffmeyer has reset the GOP’s workplace-accident clock, with a fragging of fellow Republican John Kriesel! She mad! Why? Because he pushed through this ridiculous (and broadly unpopular) Vikings stadium [...]
Tough Guy War Criminal Dick Cheney Terrified of Visiting Canada
Undead goblin king Dick Cheney dedicated his thousand year shadow reign of darkness to murdering and torturing the people of Iraq in order to make Dick Cheney feel safer, but it turns out he may have picked the wrong country. Dick Cheney now wishes he had bombed Canada, the only nation with citizens wicked enough [...]
The Late Anthony Shadid Reporting From Baghdad, 2003
The great New York Times foreign correspondent and two-time Pulitzer winner Anthony Shadid died in Syria yesterday. He was among the best. Here’s just one incredible piece we re-read last night, a dispatch from Baghdad in March, 2003, just a day or two before the American invasion: His friend, Salman Radi, joined the conversation. “We [...]
U.S. Scaling Down To Just 8,000 ‘Diplomats’ In Iraq Forever
One reason Americans were denied the cleansing vision of the last U.S. diplomats fleeing Baghdad by helicopter is because, haha, we sort of left the diplomats there — all 16,000 State Department personnel and military contractors and poorly disguised CIA torture spies and oil company representatives. But now, with “hard times” or whatever the current [...]
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