Tag Archives: iraq

  You've Got To Be Carefully Taught Nothing

Florida Wingnuts Not About To Stand For Kiddie Books About ‘Nice Muslims,’ Hell No

Well that DOES look like indoctrination
A group of Very Concerned Parents are petitioning the Duval County Public School District in Florida to remove two books from the third-grade reading list because they’re simply too Muslimy for use in a public school. The books, Nasreen’s Secret School and The Librarian of Basra, are both by Jeanette Winter, and are based on true stories from Afghanistan and Iraq, respectively. And while both books are about the value of literacy and the love of reading, some parents want them gone from the reading list and the library, thanks to an online campaign describing the books as Islamic propaganda and potentially too mature for young readers. Yeesh. And Banned Books Week isn’t even until late September. Read more on Florida Wingnuts Not About To Stand For Kiddie Books About ‘Nice Muslims,’ Hell No…
  It Don't Really Matter To Him

Rand Paul, Stupid Man

Somewhere somehow somebody must have kicked him around some. Maybe in the head.
Rand Paul is at it again, pretending to be mystified that the USA is accepting Iraqi refugees, because after all, we won the war. Oh, hell, it’s Rand Paul, so who knows, maybe he really sincerely believes it. Anyone who’d find Ayn Rand an impressive economic thinker, and who could claim to be both a libertarian and “pro-life,” probably has no difficulty at all “remembering” all the parades in Iraq where grateful Iraqis threw flowers to the American troops. For all we know, he remembers seeing the black and white newsreels of the wild crowds at Baghdad’s Arc de Triumph, jumping up on jeeps to kiss the victorious GIs. He said the same dumb thing on an Iowa radio show in May, and repeated the claim this week on Boston Herald Radio, according to Think Progress, as part of a larger argument that America takes in too darn many refugees to start with, especially from the Middle East, because those people are crazy terrorists: Read more on Rand Paul, Stupid Man…
  wait what?

GOP Senator Enraged Obama Giving Arms To Iran, Wait That Was Reagan

Barack Obama and one of his Persian lovers.
To say that Republicans have become unhinged over President Obama’s Iran deal would be a generous understatement. But “moderate” (hahaha) Sen. Mark Kirk, Republican of Illinois, may (at least for the moment) be the most unhinged of all. Did you know that Obama reached this agreement so that we can give all the nukes to Iran so they can murder everyone in the Middle East? IT’S TRUE! At least it’s true if you live in Mark Kirk’s brain. Read more on GOP Senator Enraged Obama Giving Arms To Iran, Wait That Was Reagan…
  A Really Smart Person

Donald Trump Wishes We’d Invaded Mexico For Doing 9/11, Maybe

Feel free to take a swing too
The Great American Hairball, Donald Trump, reportedly offered an amusing variation this weekend on his longstanding view that the Iraq War was a huge, not-classy mistake. At a meeting of the conservative Hollywood group “Friends of Abe” (Lincoln, not Vigoda), Trump explained what George W. Bush got wrong in the years after 9/11, according to LA Weekly: Read more on Donald Trump Wishes We’d Invaded Mexico For Doing 9/11, Maybe…
  ¡Ay caramba!

Hispanic ¡Jeb! Bush Says Donald Trump Wrong About His People Being Drug-Criming Rapists

Not a current picture of Jeb! Bush.
Jeb! Bush is mildly displeased with Donald Trump. Or rather, ¡Jeb! Bush està ligeramente disgustado over Donald Trump’s contention that Mexican immigrants are rapists and drug crimers. Nicest drug-criming rapists you’ll ever meet, though! As a completely legit Hispanic Mexican immigrant from the “Tanglewood” section of Houston Mexico City, it stands to reason that ¡Jeb! would eventually be outraged, two weeks later, in Spanish: Read more on Hispanic ¡Jeb! Bush Says Donald Trump Wrong About His People Being Drug-Criming Rapists…
  Also Kept Us Safe From Terrorism Mostly

George W. Bush Real Glad He Won Iraq War, Misses Commander Guy Cosplay

Ah the good ol' days
Look at this fuckin’ guy: A fair number of people in our country were saying that it was impossible to defeat al-Qaida — which is ISIS as far as I am concerned. They said I must get out of Iraq. But I chose the opposite — I sent 30,000 more troops as opposed to 30,000 fewer. I think history will show that al-Qaida in Iraq was defeated. Believe it or not, that’s George Dubya, still swaggering around and acting all proud of that time he beat the terrorists in Iraq, who weren’t there until he invaded the place because he sucks at geography, and also Daddy Issues. Good thing he took care of that so we never need to have “boots on the ground” in Iraq again, huh? Read more on George W. Bush Real Glad He Won Iraq War, Misses Commander Guy Cosplay…
  Back in my day!

Jeb Bush: Let’s Get Rid Of Unwed Whores By Making Fun Of Them In Public

Baby did a bad bad thing.
Try to contain all your surprise, but Jeb Bush has been A Idiot for a LONG TIME. We know about his recent string of fuckups — “Knowing what we know of knowing about Iraq and stuff and things, it was not a mistake to invade Iraq, except totally was, QED!” — but today we present to you a Jeb Bush fuckup from 20 years ago, in his 1995 book Profiles In Character. How do we get unwed pregnant ladies and welfare queens and other miscreants to stop being all pregnant and moochy? By bringing back public shaming, of course! Here is your pull quote from the book: Read more on Jeb Bush: Let’s Get Rid Of Unwed Whores By Making Fun Of Them In Public…
  Ride my mustache away from the gay menace

Porn-stached Wingnut Just Asking: Should We Secede Because Of Gay Homo Marriage?

Come live inside my manly face hairs.
The Supreme Court is just about ready, any day now, to throatcram America TO DEATH, with gay marriage, and very serious newsman Joseph Farah, of the pre-condom gay porn-era Farahs, has taken to the august pixels of his very serious online newspaper WorldNetDaily, to propose a solution: If America simply must have gay marriage, we should pick a state, for all the sad people who hate gays more than they love life to move to, and then get that state to secede from the US and A: Read more on Porn-stached Wingnut Just Asking: Should We Secede Because Of Gay Homo Marriage?…
  derp

Marco Rubio Still Running For President, Still Real Dumb

Are you not sexcited?
Remember that dude, Marco Rubio, from Florida? Probably not. He announced the end of his political career in April, when he said he’s already sick of being a senator, after four whole years, and will “run for president” instead, to deal with the number one threat to America, which is Cuba. Ah, but that was so many presidential announcements ago, and Rubio is boring and dumb, no one likes him — especially not after he was the only other GOP backstabber who joined fellow Sen. Tom Cotton (R-Traitor) to murder a bipartisan bill on Iran that Republicans really wanted. Read more on Marco Rubio Still Running For President, Still Real Dumb…
  He Is So S-M-R-T

Rick Perry’s Campaign Won’t Be About ‘Lofty Rhetoric,’ Not That We Were Worried

Smart man glasses and a bit of lens flare!
Rick Perry is finally ready for the Big Announcement: He’s a completely different guy from the doofy stumblebum who in 2012 couldn’t remember which three big government agencies he’d eliminate, and now he’s got his smart-boy glasses on, so he is totally ready to be President of the Republic of Texamerica. Read more on Rick Perry’s Campaign Won’t Be About ‘Lofty Rhetoric,’ Not That We Were Worried…
  Freedumb Fighter

American Dude Will Beat ISIS All By Himself If He Has To, Please Send Money

He's one serious guy
When Yr. Wonkette runs stories about our Liberty-loving pals in the militia crowd, who totally want to play soldier and keep America safe from Tyranny and Obama’s plans to destroy America, someone in the comments usually asks “If these guys want to be in a war so bad, why don’t they go to Syria and actually join up?” Now, the obvious answer is that most of them would rather defend Liberty from the comfort of their keyboard, with occasional camping trips to the Bundy Ranch or other flashpoints of federal overreach. But some guys actually do go Over There to start up their own little ISIS-fighting militias, and Mother Jones has one hell of a story about one of these wannabe Freedom Fighters, Matthew VanDyke, a guy who was born in Baltimore and is now making the rounds of rightwing media trying to raise money for an ISIS-destroyin’ Christian army in Syria — never mind that he may not really know what he’s doing or that the whole operation may be in violation of U.S. law. Read more on American Dude Will Beat ISIS All By Himself If He Has To, Please Send Money…
  What About The Renegade Nuns On Wheels?

Outlaw Biker Gangs Enlisting Army Guys, What’s Wrong With That?

Dear Wonkette, I wish to complain that you have depicted active-duty WWII soldiers in a story on outlaw gangs...Also The Harley WLA was a bitchin' bike.
Just in case you weren’t nervous enough about the dangers of this bad old world, NBC brings us a scary story about a 2014 report by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives on attempts by outlaw motorcycle gangs (OMGs) to recruit former and active duty members of the military into their criminal enterprises. The report, first obtained by The Intercept, warns that “The OMG community continues to spread its tentacles throughout all facets of government,” and has some nice overheated language suggesting that someone at ATF really dreams of writing for the New York Post: Read more on Outlaw Biker Gangs Enlisting Army Guys, What’s Wrong With That?…
  Also Won't Go In Against A Sicilian When Death Is On The Line

Shifty Barack Obama Won’t Even Admit He Invented ISIS

Oh, *that*...
Barack Obama is fairly sure he’s learned the lesson of the Iraq War, even if Republican presidential candidates are still working on figuring out what it was (Lesson: Stop asking about 2003 and blame Obama). In an interview with The Atlantic’s Jeffrey Goldberg published Thursday, Obama notes that he thought the Iraq war was a bad idea in 2003 — even knowing what we knew then. Read more on Shifty Barack Obama Won’t Even Admit He Invented ISIS…
  make love not war

Ben Carson Coulda Killed Bin Laden And Saddam Without Going To War, Just Like JFK Did

His brain is broken.
Ben Carson made a Dumb again! He was trying and failing, like so many other Republican candidates before him, to answer the question, “would you have invaded Iraq?” To his credit, he said it was a mistake! But he said he would have gotten rid of Saddam Hussein anyway. How? He would use WAYS: Read more on Ben Carson Coulda Killed Bin Laden And Saddam Without Going To War, Just Like JFK Did…
  you don't say

BREAKING: Bush And Cheney MAY HAVE Said Some Lies In Lead-Up To Iraq War

We are so good at lies!
Everybody with two brain cells to rub together at least SUSPECTS that there was some fishy business in the run-up to the war on Iraq, what with the fact Saddam had not attacked us, no WMDs were ever found, etc. And Iraq is back in the news right now, mostly because Jeb Bush, brother of brush-clearing, flightsuit-wearing George W. Bush, has been stepping all over his own dick for a week, trying to explain how the Iraq war wasn’t a mistake, except that it was, NO YOU SHUT UP, etc. Marco Rubio got in on the action too, dancing a jaunty jig on his own dick, because Questions Is Tough. Read more on BREAKING: Bush And Cheney MAY HAVE Said Some Lies In Lead-Up To Iraq War…
  65% of new jersey voters can't be wrong

New Jersey Loves Chris Christie Too Much To Share Him With America

America needs him.
According to New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, there is just not enough of him to go around, and New Jersey residents would be very upset and jealous if he betrayed them by running for president of U.S. America. In an interview with Fox News lady Megyn Kelly, Christie said that the little fact that 65 percent of New Jersey voters think he would be a bad president is of absolutely no consequence. Because, you see, New Jersey voters are just lying, because they would be far too upset if he left them to be the governor of all the Americas: Read more on New Jersey Loves Chris Christie Too Much To Share Him With America…