iran

Well looks like someone has decided not to fight Marco Rubio to the death for the chance to be the losing vice presidential nominee of the 2012 presidential campaign, as Rand Paul ibn Ron has now totally taken everyone’s war ball and gone home. Rand Paul is not going to let you just unanimously consent [...]

What is this, Barack Obama wishing the Iranian people a pleasant Nowruz, or Persian New Year? That is not very warlike, Barack Obama. Haven’t you been reading Tha Newz lately? We read this mostly as a “please enjoy your holiday in spite of the intransigent nuts who run your government” message — who couldn’t relate [...]

Reporters at today’s White House press conference opened their dialogue with the president on a familiar topic: War: When are we having it, and can we have it now. WAR. Also, why don’t you ever visit Israel you horrible anti-Semite? And what about war? Meanwhile, Fox News’ Ed Henry, who one time wrote the worst [...]

One thing the Republican presidential candidates love to do is talk about how they will bomb each and every Islamic Person, because the Islamic Persons might be plotting something against Israel, which is the only patriotic country outside of America’s borders, because of the greatest American Action Hero, a mythological Jewish mystic who lived (?) [...]

Here’s a typical variation on the same disturbing/hilarious lede that we see every few months, each time rendering satire useless: “Reporting from Washington— As U.S. and Israeli officials talk publicly about the prospect of a military strike against Iran’s nuclear program, one fact is often overlooked: U.S. intelligence agencies don’t believe Iran is actively trying [...]

Are you one of those humans who watches the Super Bowl “for the commercials,” which are always uniformly terrible? This is why those of us who live in Washington watch presidential debates! Oh the interest groups, they love buying DC ad time during hilarious presidential debates. There’s usually an Israel Project/AIPAC thing about how scared [...]

Favored pick “Iran” won this season’s Gallup poll for “America’s Top Enemy” by its highest-ever margin, wow! A full third of Americans picked Iran as their most dreaded bogeyman this year (up from a quarter last year) for, eh, some sort of reason. Perhaps a follow-up “why” question might have been interesting or informative here, [...]

Oh, so the war in Afghanistan is supposed to end soon-ish, like next year, maybe? Sure, we’ve done a pretty good job leaving that country on the brink of yet another horrifying civil war, NEXT. It is now Iran’s turn to be liberationed! Forty-nine percent of Americans, which for you statistically-minded folk means “probably at [...]

How are things? Bad? Oh. Well, there’s always “Angry Birds” or whatever. Oxycontin. And the fancy scientist people have moved the “symbolic” Doomsday Clock another minute closer to Midnight. This does not mean “another minute closer to Santa’s visit,” or whatever the popular superstitions are these days. It means the world will come to an [...]

One lonely little Heritage Foundation blogger weenie has stumbled upon the ultimate smoking gun of rock solid evidence that Barack Obama is a hopeless fool who could not pass the fifth grade: he accidentally said “English Embassy,” a thing which does not exist, when he was dutifully expressing his required disapproval of recent attacks on [...]

New polling shows fully half of the nation would support an attack on Iran should the latest sanctions fail. Considering that the consensus at last night’s debate was that sanctions had already failed, we’re all basically living 2002 all over again. Occupy Wall St. had it’s biggest media week yet according to a study from [...]

It’s time for the least-informed people in America to debate the whole world, or something! Welcome, happy thanksgiving! We finally have the CNN livefeed working, and now it’s time to painstakingly document the Brutal Idiocy we are about to be subjected to, for America.

America’s most lovable war criminal, Condoleezza Rice, likes only one thing more than hawking her new book, and that’s warmongering. So now that she’s been removed from the White House (too late), and is back to being a regular old academic-type person, with a new book, what do you suppose she’s doing with all her [...]

Okay, seriously, Herman Cain, just stop, stop right now, stop, STOP: “I’m not supposed to know anything about foreign policy. Just thought I’d throw that out,” he told a Journal-Sentinel reporter in the wake of the paper’s insane interview with him revealing that he is not entirely sure what “Libya” is. Because “knowing things” is not [...]

Happy Veterans Day, it is now time to reflect on how America needs another insane trillion-dollar war, for Unity probably, and also Fear! (Afghanistan is not doing the trick these days, boo.) Manly man Mitt Romney TO THE RESCUE with his pasty career corporate office-dweller chest puffed out as far as it will go in [...]


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