Tag: iran

This is of course ridiculous. Fluttershy wouldn't even make it to the stage.

Wonkagenda: Tuesday, October 4, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!
'S okay, he's a nice demon like Anya.

Trump Surrogate Howie Carr Tries To Be All Racist About Obama, But Heart Not Really In It

Trump surrogate Howie Carr is just phoning the racism in anymore, poor guy.

Donald Trump Calmly Promises To Start A War If Those Damn Iranians Flip Off Our Sailors Again

Donald Trump fired off his war head at a speech last week, to the delight of crowds who want another war.

Eric Trump’s Daddy Running For President Just To Get His Baby Boy A Real Christmas Tree

No gross secular 'holiday trees' for little Eric, only the real kind that was grown by Jesus!

Wonkagenda: Friday, August 5th, 2016

You get in here and read your morning newz breif, RIGHT NOW!

Why Can’t Man-Baby Donald Trump Use Nuclear Weapons, WHY WHY WHY??? A Wonksplainer

Trump reportedly asked a foreign policy expert THREE TIMES IN ONE HOUR why he's not allowed to nuke everything. THREE TIMES.

Hillary To America: I Am A Grown-Ass Adult, And Donald Trump Is A Idiot

It's a pity Hillary won't say what she really thinks about Donald Trump.

Barack Obama’s Excellent South Asian Vacation!

Barack Obama is wrapping up his gnarly Vietnamese vacation. Wish we were there!

Gather Round, For Breitbart’s David Horowitz Is To Tell Us All About Blackness

First David Horowitz came for the Jews, and I said nothing, because eh, it's David Horowitz. Then he came for the black people, and I was like seriously, you sure you wanna do that, buddy?

Mr. Tuff Guy Sen. Tom Cotton Didn’t Drink Gay Sparkle Water When He Was At ‘Army’

Y'all, the child senator from Arkansas, Tom Cotton, is mad enough to tittyfuck a swallow right now! Surprise, it has to do with how Cotton still thinks he's the president of Obama's Iran foreign policy. Surprise, Tom Cotton is...
Gaul is supposed to be a big deal, but it's very disappointing. Terrible golf. Sad!

Donald Trump Gives Serious Foreign Policy Speech Like A Big Boy

Now that Donald Trump has declared himself the Republican Nominee, High Pooh-Bah, and All-Father of the World (Dilute! Dilute!), it's time for him to start Acting Presidential, so he gave a Very Serious Foreign Policy Address today. How serious...
Maybe not that bright a guy. It's possible.

Pathetic Loser ‘Reporters’ Ask Donald Trump Questions, Expect Answers. Sad!

Some really weird stuff out in media land the last few days: Suddenly, several people interviewing Donald Trump have actually taken the time to interrupt his stream-of-gibberish talking points and say, Hey, Donald? You are saying words, but they...
Nope, can't come up with a joke about official portraits.

Will Tammy Duckworth’s Robot Feet Kick Mark Kirk Out Of The U.S. Senate?

Welcome to the second installment of our fun new weekly series on the 2016 Senate races. We have about as many weekends between now and November 8 as there are senatorial races, and so we're aiming to hit every...
Where is your Godzilla now?

Michele Bachmann Not About To Let Obama Become Antichrist At The United Nations, No Way

Former Congresspastor Michele Bachmann has been playing the ol' "The Bible Is A Roadmap For History" game again, and she has some pretty fascinating predictions about what's going to happen in the Middle East any day now, as we...
He's thinking of ideas right now.

New House Speaker Paul Ryan Has Some Ideas, You Guys!

Fresh-faced dumb baby House Speaker Paul Ryan woked up all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning! He did his P90X, said his affirmations into the mirror, and then tweeted out an idea he had been having, about how it would be...
Blaspheme not the Name of Reagan

Iran Releases More American Prisoners. Thanks, President Trump!

Iran has released four Americans who were being imprisoned in the Islamic Republic, and boy oh boy are Republicans ever pissed off about it! It's almost as bad as that time last week when Iran killed quickly released those...