iran

It is with heavy heart yr Wonkette pens this post. Yes, the time is nigh, Wonkfriends. We’ve been so sure the end times were approaching, and now they are here. Today, the world as we know it ends with the most pathetic whimper ever, wherein yr Wonkette is forced to agree with Pat Buchanan:

Poor dumb (clueless? Nahh, definitely dumb) old man John “That One” McCain simply does not see why anyone is making a fuss over his simple little joke calling Mahmoud Ahmadinejad a monkey, because for god’s sake, people, it is a JOKE and also did you notice that Iran is our enemy? And it’s always OK [...]

Rick Santorum has some thoughts you guys, and apparently they are so important he cannot even save them for his “exclusive” gig at WND, columnizing alongside folks who think the Supreme Court Chief Justice should be impeached for swearing in whats-his-name, the black guy. Here are Rick Santorum’s babies of his brain: Obama’s nominee for [...]

Listen you guys. We know that you were looking forward to retiring at 67, but we just can’t have that because if we do, Iran will get a nuclear weapon and blow us up. This is the ACTUAL ARGUMENT that “Security Analyst” Robert Kagan is making in the Washington Post, so do not laugh (yet) [...]

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has an MBA and worked for a consulting firm before getting involved in Israeli politics, so he knows a little something about livening up a boring presentation with graphics. Unfortunately the fuddy-duddies at the U.N. nixed his innovative PowerPoint idea, or maybe their projector didn’t have the right port for [...]

Mitt Romney had mondo problems winning over the British on the first leg of his diplomatic photo-op vacation, so you know what? Screw the “Special Relationship.” Israel is now more special-er to the United States Empire than England ever was, harumph, so that’s where Mitt Romney spent his last couple of days before jetting off [...]

The realpolitik wunderkinds in charge of Iran have been threatening for awhile now to respond to a Western boycott on their oil by cutting off access to ALL the oil, but now the loose-lipped traitors at Nobama’s Pentagon have let it slip that the U.S. Navy is globally forcing some good into what they call [...]

Oh, man, this is what happens when Donald Trump reads the liberal media! It just reaffirms all of his most terrifying fever-dreams. For instance, the New York Times reports that Barack Obama is implementing a policy of containment and saber-rattling against Iran, which is pretty much the same policy that George W. Bush engaged in [...]

Every big- and middle-name Democrat and Republican loves raking in fees to speak to the exiled Iranian Marxist guerilla group MEK, an official member of the State Department’s terrorist group list that also happens to hate the current Iranian regime. This seems pretty illegal, but hey, maybe we just love the Ayatollah and Ahmadinejad too [...]

You guys, the Iranian government is still super mad about Salman Rushdie bad-mouthing the Prophet Muhammed, 25 years ago! But since Ayatollah Khomeini’s death sentence against him continues to not be carried out, what can they do to get the kids interested in violent intimidation of literary blasphemy? Hmm, the kids love the video games, [...]

The Iranian Navy says it saved an American ship from pirates, all ‘Unhand that frigate, villeins! What ho, tea, chappie, lorries, Madge, the sun never sets on the British Empire,’ or something, whatever, arrrr. So now we can all be best friends forever! Yay Iran! Yay us! An Iranian warship responded to a distress signal [...]

Your Wonkette has been kept awake at night, dear readers, upon learning that national treasures like official mayor-of-all-things 9/11 Rudolph Guiliani, former attorney general Michael Mukasey, former intelligence official Michael V. Haydn, and a bunch of very important K-street lobbying firms were under investigation due to their advocacy for the terrorist group Mujahedeen Khalq (or MEK). [...]

Get out your Purple Heart bandages, because it is once again time to remind the American people that The Troops are a bunch of lazy, cowardly, treasonous, unpatriotic, un-American, Kenyan-Socialist-Communist whiners. If the election were held today, Obama would win the veteran vote by as much as seven points over Romney, higher than his margin [...]

Is it just us, or is it kind of ick-nast that an Iranian diplomat posted in Brasilia fondled and groped at least four girls between the ages of 9 and 15 in a public swimming pool? It must be just us: The Iranians have called him home, but totes not for the fondling. No, it [...]

Did you know that there are Jewish people who sometimes think that Israel is wrong — and some of those Jewish people actually live there? Also there is a group of liberal Jews* (what? Shut yo mouth!) in New York mostly, who do liberal things, like want peace, which is kind of a Jewish tradition. [...]


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