iowa
Are you psyched for the next seventeen months of presidential candidate news bytes? Remember, the first primary is still a summer and a fall and a winter away, and here’s the kind of thing you’re going to be seeing a lot, to fill the gaping news hole: “Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich briefly stopped a campaign [...]
This Iowan stole Newt Gingrich’s hand and wouldn’t give it back until the adulterer said he was sorry. We’re not sure if the whiny “I didn’t do anything to Paul Ryan!” or the smile stuck on Newt’s shiny-headed wife’s face during all of this is the best part.
The banshee shrieks: “That’s why an election was stolen in Minnesota, and yes, I will tell you, it was stolen. And Al Franken became the 60th senator to give Barack Obama a filibuster-proof majority in the United States Senate and that’s how he got ObamaCare. But for that stolen election, we would not have ObamaCare [...]
Staring abyss Michele Bachmann appeared before Iowa social conservative group FAMiLY Leader, whose leader apparently once said, “If we’re teaching the kids, ‘don’t smoke, because that’s a risky health style,’ the same can be true of the homosexual lifestyle. That’s why I think we need to speak the truth once in a while.” So Think [...]
A man named Benjamin Foster, who is apparently a Tim Pawlenty campaign staffer, was arrested for intoxication and trespassing at a home in Ankeny, Iowa early this morning, according to Des Moines station KCCI. This scared a teen and her dog, as you can see from this video. Maybe we judged Tim Pawlenty too soon. [...]
Spring is upon us, which means that all around the country, naïve 22-year-olds are chugging their last beers so they can take some tests, walk across a stage, and get violently slapped in the face by a reality that will maybe involve an unpaid internship, prostitution and food stamps, and probably some borderline homelessness. This [...]
It’s nut-pickin’ time in Iowa! That’s why Newt Gingrich — a man so amoral and crooked that he has to be screwed into his albino-rat wig each morning — is buddying up with the best wingnuts Texas has to offer, in Iowa. Meet make-believe “historian” David Barton, who brought two important beliefs to Iowa so [...]
Oh no. This is like an effeminite kid telling YouTube not to call him gay. Look what everybody did on Twitter! We upset Chuck Grassley. No, the Twitter character limit is not 120, it’s 140. And no, it’s not explained why Grassley needs to shorten the word “about” here when his message is less than [...]
Tim Pawlenty has been running for president for years now; yesterday, he made it official in a video that utilized quick cuts and a shaking camera so you couldn’t put your finger on exactly how boring he is. This man will really have to do anything to make himself seem interesting, and in Iowa, he [...]
THE FIRST STEP ON THE PATH TO OBAMA’S DEFEAT HAPPENS TONIGHT: Let’s hope that there’s plenty beyond each candidate’s 10-minute “why you should love me” pitch. Because this is a good selection of confirmed attendees: “Former Godfather’s Pizza CEO” Herman Cain, Newt Gingrich, Tim Pawlenty, former Louisiana Gov. Buddy Roemer, and Rick “Google Me” Santorum. [...]
U.S. Sen. Jim DeMint’s keynote speech next month to an Iowa forum for Republican presidential candidates has fueled hopes among some evangelicals and conservative activists that the South Carolinian will launch a White House run. DeMint, overwhelmingly elected to his second Senate term in November, will deliver the evening banquet address to a dozen GOP [...]
There are some things Frank Luntz and Fox News would rather not say explicitly out loud if they don’t have to. Luckily, they have Republican voters to back them up and make the insane connections they merely insinuate. Who here thinks Obama is a Muslim and that is why he is letting Egypt become a [...]
