Tag Archives: iowa state daily

  richard cohen can retire now

Wonkette’s Pet College Newspaper Asks: If You’re On Food Stamps, Why Are You Even In College?

It’s been a while since we’ve checked in with the student journamalists of the Iowa State Daily, that fine press organ (*snckkk, “organ!”*) which gave us an inspired anti-chalk editorial and some very earnest tsk-tsking about Bruce Springsteen using the rock and the roll to campaign for that Obama fellow. This week, the young fogeys of the ISD editorial board turn their attention to the timely issue of food stamps, and they manage a pretty neat trick: In an editorial titled “Food stamp abuse necessitates restriction,” they transform “qualifying for food stamps” into “abusing food stamps.” And to their shock and horror, the editorial board discovers that there are a lot of scummy people out there abusing food stamps through the sneaky tactic of being poor enough to get food stamps. Read more on Wonkette’s Pet College Newspaper Asks: If You’re On Food Stamps, Why Are You Even In College?…
  Undaunted Courage

In Gutsy Rebuke of ‘Politics As Usual,’ Wonkette’s Pet College Newspaper Boldly Endorses Nobody For President

Big News, Wonkers! The editorial board of the Iowa State Daily, Wonkette’s Pet College Newspaper, has made an innovative, nay, a MOMENTOUS editorial decision! In the midst of this contentious political season (not to mention the feathery distractions of swanning time), these intellectual heirs of the great Paul Harvey have bravely decided to “buck the trend” and to not endorse a candidate for President in the 2012 presidential election of America. While this editorial non-endorsement lacks the fiery conviction of the paper’s recent jeremiads against political messages written with chalk upon the public side-walks and its timely reminder that Bruce Springsteen is not a serious political expert, it does have its charms. Read more on In Gutsy Rebuke of ‘Politics As Usual,’ Wonkette’s Pet College Newspaper Boldly Endorses Nobody For President…
  Needz moar nounz

College Newspaper Frowns Upon Springsteenian Merry-Making, For Such Frivolity Is But A Pale Shadow Of Serious Politics

As the great writer Hanna Arendt once said, “Promises are the uniquely human way of ordering the future, making it predictable and reliable to the extent that this is humanly possible.” And so it is with great pleasure that we announce that the Iowa State Daily, which we are now officially adopting as Wonkette’s Pet College Newspaper, is indeed a keeper of its promises! Let us recap, shall we? At the end of their recent impassioned editorial about boorish knaves defacing the sidewalks of Academe with their impudent political messages, the young fogeys of The Iowa State Daily’s editorial board proclaimed that, in comparison to such flagrant sidewalk-defacery, Showing off celebrities such as actor Justin Long and rock star Bruce Springsteen aren’t [sic] much better, but we can wait to comment on that until tomorrow. Well! Today, which is yesterday’s “tomorrow,” of course, has crept in its petty pace (as the Bard of Avon would say), and did the Iowa State Daily fulfil its solemn vow? Why, yes! Yes it did! If only political candidates of this day and age could be as reliable in following up on the commitments they make to the body politic! Read more on College Newspaper Frowns Upon Springsteenian Merry-Making, For Such Frivolity Is But A Pale Shadow Of Serious Politics…
  chalk is not a crime

College Newspaper Editorial Simply Does Not Care For Your Unseemly Obama Graffiti Of Chalk

Verily, Iowa State ruffians, you may think your vulgar chalk drawings on the pavements of Iowa State entreating and commanding your fellow knowledge seekers in the life of the mind to vote for one Barack Obama are a call to action for ‘civic duty,’ but ur totes bumming out your college newspaper editorial board, man! The clouds that bore down on Iowa State on Wednesday have a silver lining. Although many of us may very well have murmured to ourselves, “Rain rain go away / Come again another day,” the drops of water that fell from the sky in an on-again, off-again kind of way have one great virtue. They had the effect of erasing some of the chalk that directed — nay, commanded — us to vote for President Barack Obama, and to do so by taking advantage of the early voting at the Memorial Union. Those phrases, you may have noticed, were everywhere. And it was an egregious abuse of the privilege students have to decorate our sidewalks with public service announcements about upcoming events and support the clubs in which they hold membership. There is more to student life than the Obama campaign, yet the Obama for America crew has almost monopolized the sidewalks. NAY, not MONOPOLIZING THE SIDEWALKS! We shake our fists to the heavens! How, G_d, how could you have let this injustice stand, with the scalawags, abusing the privilege of chalk! But do, by all means, fine fellow or fellowette, please, please, do go on and on and on! Read more on College Newspaper Editorial Simply Does Not Care For Your Unseemly Obama Graffiti Of Chalk…