• Obama’s big speech last night was a success, as he compared McCain to Bush and it included a number of good burns. The subsequent fireworks also indicated success.  [Politico]
• Putin blamed (who else) President Bush for the Georgian conflict, and explained that this whole thing was created just to drum up support for a certain unnamed person running for President who is not Barack Obama. [New York Times]
• Today is McCain’s 72nd birthday, and he will celebrate by choosing a vice president, maybe 73 vice presidents (one for good luck). [Washington Post]
• New Orleans prepares itself for Tropical Storm Gustav with their old FEMA friends, while Gustav prepares for New Orleans by flooding Jamaica. [Times-Picayune]
• Oil prices will probably have their biggest weekly gain in two months, thanks to Gustav and all the rig evacuations in the Gulf of Mexico it is causing. [Bloomberg]
• The audience at Invesco Field last night was very pleased with Obama’s speech, and cheered and stayed silent at all the appropriate times. [New York Times]
• In his speech, Al Gore compared Obama to Lincoln and said that if the 2000 election had gone differently, Osama would be dead, Iraq would be not be such a mess, and we would be working towards solving global warming. [The Hill]

Fifteen thousand hours later, and we’re in. You know what would be great right now is a couch.

We are commencing the long terrible journey to Barack Obama’s Athletics Parthenon and Live Pagan Sex Spectacle. It will take approximately one million hours, and we have to stop for lunch besides, so if we do not post for a few hours it is because we are drunk or incarcerated or maybe we have expired in the heat. Wish us luck.

Oh, this is perfect. After spending all week straining to convince voters that he is a humble, all-American God-fearing Christian regular Joe, Barack Obama will deliver his acceptance speech tomorrow night from a structure that ABC News says “resembles an ancient Greek temple.” Because nothing hits the trifecta of Hollywood, presumption, and alternate religion like a wine-soaked polytheist boy-fucking Vegas pleasure dome in the middle of a massive arena. [ABC News]

WE JUST ASSUMED HE WAS DEAD: “Former Vice President Al Gore has accepted a speaking role on the final night of the Democratic convention, appearing on the same stage that Barack Obama will officially receive the Democratic Party’s presidential nomination.” Presumptuous. Would it be so wrong to pray for rain? [CNN]

Looky here at the wretched abomination decorating the so-called “credentials” for the sodomite heathen drug orgy to be held in a Denver pleasure dome next week. Double fail times negative 18 million whore diamonds for B. Hussein NO0bama and his upside-down Satanist American flag, which is an evil hologram from space. [9 News]

Good news, Obamatards with tickets to Barack Obama & the Decemberists’ big concert at Mile High Stadium: You are encouraged to go through 10 miles of security lines and enter the INVESCO outdoor FEMA detainment camp at 1 p.m., a half day before Obama will speak. Also, you can’t bring booze. Also, there will be no booze for sale. Hope sucks. Read the whole terrifying list of fun weapons and drugs and animals you CANNOT bring to the greatest football game on Earth, after the jump. MORE »

“Doctor” James Dobson’s hub of fundies, Focus on the Family, is worse than Hitler, Stalin, Chairman Mao, Lyndon Johnson and Senator-cum-Emperor freaking Palpatine combined, times a billion, squared, plus seven. While some “new-wave” fundies show potential to be not quite as awful — they care about poverty! — we still have to deal with the likes of Old Dobson and his minions, however muted they are these days, for like another 10 years before he hopefully dies, alone, one cell croaking painfully at a time. Look at these twats, now they are “praying for a deluge to drown out Barack Obama at the Democratic National Convention in two weeks’ time.” They are asking for “abundant, torrential” downpours. And they’ve made a video for this! MORE »