Sarah Palin’s back on the teevee, with Katie Couric. “COURIC, MY NEMESIS, WE MEET AGAIN,” Palin doesn’t say. Oh now look, though — who’s that old toot sitting next to her? Why it’s her beloved “running mate,” John McCain. Talk about bringing in the cavalry! Anyway, we’ve read the transcript of this interview and it makes absolutely no sense at all. MORE »

Q: Sarah Palin, please explain in Economics 101 terms how a crisis on Wall Street can eventually affect all people.

A: snort can will health care eat potato cheap economy health poop cum umbrella face nose tax cut health penis eye stab number drink pepsi trade blah moose shit die cancer. [YouTube via Andrew Sullivan]

• THIS IS EXTRAORDINARILY PAINFUL: All we’ll say is, Sarah Palin answered one of Katie Couric’s questions tonight with this line: “I’ll try to find you some [examples] and I’ll bring them to you.” UPDATE: Video! First and last parts are obviously the best:

  [Marc Ambinder]

Sarah Palin barely survived Charlie Gibson’s interview, but she did survive, and now she’s in much safer hands for her Second Interview, this time with Sean Hannity. Part one airs tonight at 9 p.m., so be sure to not watch that at all. Fox has released some excerpts from the interview, and there appear to be many questions about this “terribly fucked economy” that average Americans like Ken Layne are losing their minds over. So let’s check out the canned answers that some McCain intern programmed Palin to rattle off. MORE »

Oh here this will cheer you up or bore you: John McCain does an interview with Maine reporter Rob Caldwell and basically does not answer any questions. Here is a direct quote from the 4:24 mark in the video (which we did not embed because the HTML was such utter garbage with an autoplay feature that could not be killed): “What experience does [Sarah Palin] have in the field of national security?” Answer: “Energy.” [WCSH6.com]

Here is Your Barry taking a few minutes to explain, calmly and cheerfully, what his energy policy is, how it contrasts with John McCain’s, and why the reporter is kind of a douche. Obama gets a big F minus for this one because he did not hold this interview on an offshore oil rig in a hurricane. [Las Vegas Now]

Yesterday Wonkette brought you the EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE SEEN NOWHERE ELSE of Barack Obama’s 10- and 7-year-old daughters, Misha and Selma or whatever, being interviewed by some pretty Access Hollywood gal. This was a first, as Obama usually likes to hide his children in underground caves to shield them from THE SPINELESS INTERNET. Naturally, everyone made fun of these two children and, by the end of the day, were blaming them for starting the Iraq War and also capitulating on FISA. Nary an Internet Addict found the children, say, adorable. And that is why Barack Obama told adult-child Diane Sawyer on today’s Good Morning America that he’ll never put his children on teevee again. MORE »

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Wonkette’s own Liz Glover took her video camera and Polaroid to an April 1 party for “Our America,” a thing to help the low-income youth. As you can imagine, the powerful D.C. media wanted nothing to do with this (poor black kids are such downers), but John Kerry was there! MORE »

While other Republican candidates for president were off wife-roping and campaigning this weekend, John McCain retired to a secluded ranch in Sedona Arizona and gathered near his most cherished press contacts so that they could finally be alone together and talk about where their relationship was going. He forbade political conversation on this somber and sacred weekend, preferring instead to focus on important things such as “dry rubs.” MORE »

Wonkette had the opportunity to interview famous journalist Choire Sicha, reporting in New Hampshire for the New York Observer. Sicha is most famous for editing the weblog Gawker — the “Wonkette of New York City” — like five times. His brief discussion of Josh Romney’s penis, after the jump. MORE »