Wonkette

Yesterday Wonkette brought you the EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE SEEN NOWHERE ELSE of Barack Obama’s 10- and 7-year-old daughters, Misha and Selma or whatever, being interviewed by some pretty Access Hollywood gal. This was a first, as Obama usually likes to hide his children in underground caves to shield them from THE SPINELESS INTERNET. Naturally, everyone made fun of these two children and, by the end of the day, were blaming them for starting the Iraq War and also capitulating on FISA. Nary an Internet Addict found the children, say, adorable. And that is why Barack Obama told adult-child Diane Sawyer on today’s Good Morning America that he’ll never put his children on teevee again. MORE »

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Wonkette’s own Liz Glover took her video camera and Polaroid to an April 1 party for “Our America,” a thing to help the low-income youth. As you can imagine, the powerful D.C. media wanted nothing to do with this (poor black kids are such downers), but John Kerry was there! MORE »

While other Republican candidates for president were off wife-roping and campaigning this weekend, John McCain retired to a secluded ranch in Sedona Arizona and gathered near his most cherished press contacts so that they could finally be alone together and talk about where their relationship was going. He forbade political conversation on this somber and sacred weekend, preferring instead to focus on important things such as “dry rubs.” MORE »

Wonkette had the opportunity to interview famous journalist Choire Sicha, reporting in New Hampshire for the New York Observer. Sicha is most famous for editing the weblog Gawker — the “Wonkette of New York City” — like five times. His brief discussion of Josh Romney’s penis, after the jump. MORE »

Fred Thompson can’t get a dad-gum thing right, and he’s fixin’ up a fuss like the tadpoles in April-time, or something like that. Before a scheduled interview with Fox News in New Hampshire — it’s only Thompson’s third appearance there — interview Carl Cameron announced into a studio microphone, “The next president of the United States has a schedule to keep.” Oh he totally set up Thompson, who couldn’t help but interject with, “And so do I.” The boy is sick! Just let him go home, Principal God.

Even Fred Thompson doubts he’ll be president [Telegraph]

Apparently not yet ready for the “serious” questioning he’d get on a Sunday morning, Larry Craig (and his terrifying wife) will subject themselves to an awkward chat with Matt Lauer next Tuesday, after an interview on local Idaho TV. This will be his first TV appearance since his arrest for toilet cruising in a Minneapolis airport, his guilty plea, his promise to resign, his legal challenge of the guilty plea, that challenge’s dismissal, and his announcement that no, on second thought he won’t be retiring after all. No word yet on whether his sad adopted children will be joining the happy couple. MORE »

Yeah it might’ve just been worth it to go to the Madame Tussaud’s museum opening just to hang a hilarious speech bubble above wax Marion Barry’s head. Thankfully someone else did it for them! And then BYT tried to interview the real Marion Barry, which went about as well as that has been going for them in general this week. [BYT]

Brightest Young Things’ illuminating interview week continues with Sanjay Gupta refusing to pose with a thermometer in his mouth. [BYT]

This is the best interview with Henry Rollins ever published. [BYT]