Tag Archives: interviews

  Sing us a Cuban song too while you're at it!

Esteemed Teevee Journalist Would Like Ted Cruz To Say A Spanish, For Journalism

Gross. Both of them.
Mark Halperin is a hack whom everybody hates, who does hacky “journalism” and somehow, because the world is not fair, makes more money than yr Wonkette. Ted Cruz is an obnoxious, entitled asshole whom everyone hates, who has always been an asshole, who thinks he doesn’t have to play by any rules, but who adorably think he has a chance in hell of becoming president someday. He also has Cuban heritage, even though he actually invaded America from the north. So Halperin decided to interview Cruz, and what SHOULD have been a perfect demonstration of hack journalism, akin to two men using a double-headed dildo backing up into each other repeatedly, instead turned into a big gross racist thing where we ALMOST felt bad for Ted Cruz. Almost. Read more on Esteemed Teevee Journalist Would Like Ted Cruz To Say A Spanish, For Journalism…
  Now Wi-Fi Free!

The Snake Oil Bulletin: The Food Babe Gets Her Revenge! (No, She Doesn’t.)

Welcome back, lovers of stuff-and-nonsense. It’s your weekly dose of assorted woo known as the Snake Oil Bulletin. Last week we tuckered ourselves out on the infuriating world of vegan cat food. Consider this week a bit of a breather from the rage boil that no doubt still festers inside you, because we’re going to watch some teevee! Yay! Remember that joyous feeling you had when you walked into your first class of the day and saw the big black teevee on a cart wheeled in from the AV room sitting at the front of your class? That is like today. Only instead of watching a fun nature documentary that might show us boobies or give us a chance to catch up on our nap homework, we’re going to watch one of the most awkward interviews since the Fartknocker Queen herself informed us of her reading habits. So spit out your gum, prop up a textbook to cover your face, and get ready to cringe with your beloved Wonkette. Read more on The Snake Oil Bulletin: The Food Babe Gets Her Revenge! (No, She Doesn’t.)…
  They prefer to be called "Bonkers" and "Yip-Yap"

WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE: Let’s Eat Bon-Bons And Braid Hair With The Tennessee Gay Marriage Plaintiffs!

Thom & Ijpe, with creative
On Tuesday, plaintiffs in Obergefell v. Hodges journeyed to the Supreme Court from many faraway exotic lands — Tennessee, Kentucky, Ohio and Michigan to be specific — so that their case, to bring marriage equality to themselves and, by extension, to America, may be heard. If you have not heard about this news, you may read this Wonkette Legal Analysis of what went down in that courtroom! Read more on WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE: Let’s Eat Bon-Bons And Braid Hair With The Tennessee Gay Marriage Plaintiffs!…
  Adventures in being a total fuckup

Maybe Rand Paul Didn’t F*ck Up Guardian Interview, Is Still A Dick Anyway

You see this guy asking me questions? How dare he?
The Twitter, it is outraged at Serious Presidential Candidate Rand Paul, who is a dick, for doing another dick thing. According to the internet, which is always correct, Rand Paul had a full-on meltdown temper tantrum at Guardian reporter Paul Lewis, who was just trying to get him to answer a gotcha question about his support for criminal justice reform. How will that play with all the racist fundamentalist fucknozzle Iowans he needs to pander to win the Republican nomination to lose to Hillary Clinton? But did Rand Paul, who is a dick, actually act like a dick this time? Some say yea, some say nay. Let us Do Journalism, by watching a video and deciding for ourselves! Read more on Maybe Rand Paul Didn’t F*ck Up Guardian Interview, Is Still A Dick Anyway…
  world's most deliberative bodies

Politico Reporter: Kirsten Gillibrand Is a Lying Liar, Since No Man in Congress Has Ever Been Sexist

k to the g
On Wednesday, the New York Post published tidbits of what promises to be an entertaining and depressing new interview with Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand in which she describes being called “fat” and told to work out more since she was getting “porky” by older male colleagues in the House and Senate. What’s not to love about being a female senator? It gets you membership in a very small and exclusive club within the world’s most deliberative body, plus all the free fitness tips and affirmative motivation you can tolerate on your wellness journey! Read more on Politico Reporter: Kirsten Gillibrand Is a Lying Liar, Since No Man in Congress Has Ever Been Sexist…
  clipbait

Jon Stewart Wonders How Fox & CNN Made All Those ‘Hard Choices’ In Hillary Interviews (Video)

Jon Stewart was pretty impressed with how well the capture of Benghazi attacker Ahmed Abu Khattala went. He couldn’t find a single thing wrong with the operation — “which is probably why I don’t work at Fox.” Ah, but America’s greatest news network found flaws — after all, it would have been easy for a pack of cub scouts to seize Khattala, since he spent his days lounging around hotels being interviewed by journalists, and, according to Fox, always “sipping” something — a latte, a strawberry frappé, mango juice, you name it. And then there’s the stupider complaints: the timing of the capture, which obviously happened because Hillary Clinton was appearing on Fox Tuesday. “Normally, to find that level of sophisticated understanding of causality, you would have to talk to a two-year old.” Read more on Jon Stewart Wonders How Fox & CNN Made All Those ‘Hard Choices’ In Hillary Interviews (Video)…
  wonkette book chat

A Wonkette Interview With ‘Bailout’ Author Neil Barofsky, Part I

Welcome to your Monday Wonkette Interview Post! We were fortunate enough to speak with former Special Inspector General for TARP (SIGTARP!) Neil Barofsky over the telephone, whose new memoir Bailout, recounting his stint in Washington from late 2008 until early 2010, is flying off the shelves of bookstores like the dickens. The book’s theme is, “everything in Washington is completely screwed so let me terrify you with endless stories about this.” It’s the feel-good beach book of the summer! Your Wonkette got to meet Barofsky during our early summer jaunt to Netroots Nation, where he and a few other hardasses held an extraordinary panel on the foreclosure fraud crisis, and the general lack of justice for victims of bank malpractice over the past however many years. The panel was almost as unsparing in its criticisms as Bailout is in its — for both the Bush and Obama administrations. And revealing! The very first scene, see, shows former Merrill Lynch executive and TARP “czar” meeting Barofsky for drinks and telling him to back off his investigations, or the “tone” of them at least, if he ever wants to get another decent job for the rest of his life. Just like in the movies!… but very, very, very, very real. Read more on A Wonkette Interview With ‘Bailout’ Author Neil Barofsky, Part I…
  endless derp

Todd Akin’s Final Answer: He’s In It To Win It! (Also Too, 9/11)

Vaginal magic expert Rep. Todd Akin has just gone on the Mike Huckabee radio show to announce his final decision before today’s 5:00 drop-out deadline and LOL, he’s staying in. The reason is the same as yesterday: 9/11, and how the first responders wouldn’t want him to quit!…?? Hoo boy. We could see this coming, his defiant non-quitting of the Missouri Senate race, as soon as the National Review posted an editorial calling on him to drop out yesterday. When does that ever work? Read more on Todd Akin’s Final Answer: He’s In It To Win It! (Also Too, 9/11)…
  the new york times is on it

Exclusive NYT Interview Indicates That Undecided Voters May Despise Politics Entirely

The New York Times ventured out of the Big City to conduct one of its most ambitious anthropological studies of the election, deep into the virgin forests of Ohio. Veteran Timesman John Harwood was tasked with a mission that no cub reporter would ever have returned from alive: Talking to some lady in Ohio about the election, in a parking lot. What motivates this creature, the “Regular Ohioan”? How does she respond to political stimuli? Does she see the teevee ads in her flyover hinterland, and how does her genetic wiring influence the words that come out of her mouth? The preliminary results — and lord knows there’s still test after test needing to be run back at the lab — indicate that she “hates everything about politics,” as they term it in Science. Read more on Exclusive NYT Interview Indicates That Undecided Voters May Despise Politics Entirely…
  real jobs in real america real world splat

20+ Year House Grump John Boehner: Obama Has Never Had ‘Real Job’ In ‘Real World’

John Boehner is a quick study: He didn’t really care about politics much as a youth, eventually worked his way up to the presidency of a small business in plastics, decided he didn’t like dealing with the hassles of government regulatory compliance, and boom: A Republican lifer was born. And here’s the thing about small businessmen: they don’t think anything counts as a “real job” if it’s not a job growing a small business, and they despise anyone who doesn’t have one of these jobs. You know all that rhetoric in both parties about the Noble Small Businessman selling his Wares? Neither party ever points out that small businessmen, at least in their role as political actors, are dicks. This is their mindset, as spoken by John Boehner today on one of the Fox idiot’s radio shows: “But the President has never created a job. He’s never even had a real job for Christ’s sake. And I can tell you from my dealings with him, he has no idea how the real world, that we actually live in, works.” Who actually lives in the real world? Read more on 20+ Year House Grump John Boehner: Obama Has Never Had ‘Real Job’ In ‘Real World’…
  turncoat news

Jeb Bush, Liberated By His Own Irrelevance, Says GOP Is ‘Short-Sighted’

Remember a very long time ago, during a Republican presidential debate last August (oh my god, TIME), when one of those moderator fellows asked the candidates whether they would reject a debt deal that required 10 dollars in spending cuts for every dollar in tax increases, and how everyone raised their hand to say that they would reject such a deal, even though Jon Huntsman later admitted that he didn’t mean to raise his hand, because he is not actually crazy? Well, Jeb Bush would now like to say that, because no one cares, he is free to admit that he would accept such a deal, and that also, the Republican party in general is “short-sighted” on immigration and tax policy issues, but he is only saying this because he is not running for office, and because Charlie Rose made him feel that he was in a safe space. Read more on Jeb Bush, Liberated By His Own Irrelevance, Says GOP Is ‘Short-Sighted’…
  secrets of the elite

Hot Gossip Interview With Wonkette’s Own Former Cranbrook Preppy, Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Yesterday we learned all about how young Willard “Mitt” Romney used to terrorize gay people with scissors during his time at the Cranbrook Boarding School For Youths Of A Certain Gentility. And then our own Kirsten Boyd Johnson was like, “Oh yeah I went to Cranbrook.” Jesus Kirsten, ABOUT TIME YOU SAID THAT much? Anyway, here is our revealing (-ish) interview with her about crashed Porsches and stuff. Wonkette: Kirsten, you attended Cranbrook several decades after Mitt Romney did. What was he like? Read more on Hot Gossip Interview With Wonkette’s Own Former Cranbrook Preppy, Kirsten Boyd Johnson…
  occupy asshats

Romney Says He’s ‘Not Concerned About the Very Poor,’ Stuns No One

Mitt Romney, most undeserving and unexcited winner of the Florida primary since at least 2004, was utterly bored out of his skull during his victory speech in Florida Tuesday, though he at least kept up the practice of being EVIL, my friend, and took the Evil Show to a post-results chat with CNN’s Soledad O’Brien. There, he proceeded to terrify Soledad and the four other people watching CNN by saying how he really feels: “I’m not concerned about the very poor.” This is the real, true, unabashed, unequivocal, undeniable “I like being able to fire people” moment we have all been waiting for (yet have also gotten several other times!!!!) After making it difficult for Soledad O’Brien to know what to say/not kill herself, Romney tried to soften the blow with more terrible rich-man mumbo jumbo, and had some bossy, condescending words for Soledad, too, because she is a woman liberal woman liberal. Read more on Romney Says He’s ‘Not Concerned About the Very Poor,’ Stuns No One…
  fyi

Tennessee Bigot: AIDS Caused By One Monkey-Loving Airline Pilot

Arguably the worst person permitted to make laws on behalf of America, Tennessee State Senator Stacey Campfield, author of the “Don’t Say Gay” bill, recently took part in an interview on Sirius in which he not only defended his already nightmarish views on homosexuality and AIDS, but pushed his insane agenda even farther, twisting the knife all the way through the chest of America and then pulling it out the other side. And then pushing it back through to create a nice big hole, putting his arm through, waving, making an obscene gesture, etc. Campfield, who evidently grows wild carnivorous rose bushes in his office and has blocked access to every site on the Internet that is not (gay) porn, first of all reminds Sirius OutQ’s “The Gist” show host Michelangelo Signorile that AIDS is all the fault of one monkey-loving airline pilot. It gets wooo-orse. Read more on Tennessee Bigot: AIDS Caused By One Monkey-Loving Airline Pilot…
  for serious this time

Rick Perry Pretty Much Compares Himself To Jesus On Teevee

Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com Here is Sean Hannity interviewing Rick Perry in a moodily lit room full of farming implements, and boy is there ever a lot of sexual tension. Just make out already, you two! But okay okay, if we had to choose our favorite Rick Perry pick-up line from this “gay hillbilly courtship rituals” documentary short, it’s this one (starting at 3:38) where he says, “The corporate tax lawyers in Washington D.C., they hate me the way, you know, the devil hates holy water,” only because it is a little bit unusual even for one of the egomaniacal brand of human who runs for U.S. President to basically equate himself to the evil-repelling tears of Jesus. Read more on Rick Perry Pretty Much Compares Himself To Jesus On Teevee…
  mark halperin has a new boyfriend

Rick Perry Is Now God and Mark Halperin Is His Moses

Unlikable jabbering punditurd Mark Halperin got a very important interview with soon-to-be presidential candidate and wingnut imbecile heartthrob Rick Perry. Mark Halperin named this mammoth journalistic achievement, “He Speaks,” which is also Jesus-talk for “God said something important.” Interesting information! Does Mark Halperin have something to “reveal?” Is Rick Perry God? Does He maybe have some things to share with everyone? Is Mark Halperin the new Moses? And in that case can Mark Halperin nominate himself to be in charge of writing all those things down in his column? “Why does God think God should be the next president of being Rick Perry?” is the first question. Answer: “God loves being Rick Perry’s God so much God is now Rick Perry.” Oh good answer, now a follow-up! “When did you first learn you were God?” Answer: “George W. Bush said so in a phone call.” Interesting, very interesting! Read more on Rick Perry Is Now God and Mark Halperin Is His Moses…
  but he still loves his fetus friends more

VIDEO: Rick Santorum Was ‘With, Loves’ His Gay Friends

Openly gay CNN reporter Don Lemon was the first reporter we know of to finally ask Rick Santorum a very obvious question: does he have any gay friends? Santorum replied, “Yes, in fact I was with a gay friend of mine two days ago.” And then everyone on earth immediately pointed out that “with” is a polite way of saying “my friend and I did it in thirty different increasingly nasty positions,” and now Rick Santorum is finally out of the closet. Hooray, just in time for the debate tonight! Are you sure you really love gay people, asks Lemon as a follow-up, and Rick says, “they know that I love them because they’re my friends.” Hottt video after the jump! Read more on VIDEO: Rick Santorum Was ‘With, Loves’ His Gay Friends…
  serious politics

Meghan McCain Finally Gets a Job, With Donald Trump

Meghan McCain has interviewed Donald Trump, of course. What else would she do with her days? Here’s how it begins: “So are we doing a radio show?” Trump asks. “No, this is an interview for The Daily Beast,” Meghan responds. “Oh, OK, good,” Trump says. (He’s never been to the Internet and has no idea what she’s talking about.) “I like you. I see you a lot on television.” These two are perfect for each other! There are no two individuals who have less to do with Republican policy than them. There are bloated half-dead starving kids in third-world countries who have more to do with policy, and Republicans don’t even like bloated half-dead starving kids in third-world countries. Anyway, Meghan McCain grovels for a job and Donald Trump gives her the first job offer of her life, because these people truly love each other, for they have been on television. And Cindy McCain, in the background, says she thinks Trump can win. We love these people. Read more on Meghan McCain Finally Gets a Job, With Donald Trump…
  cold bloods

Donald Rumsfeld Refuses To Answer Whether Or Not He’s a Lizard Person

ARE DONALD RUMSEFELD AND DICK CHENEY LIZARD PEOPLE FROM OUTER SPACE WHO EAT HUMAN FLESH? For years, this is the one question the world has wanted to ask, as it is the only rational explanation for two beings that look human but in no way acted like it when they were in office. Yesterday, the world finally got its chance. Suspected lizard Donald Rumsfeld went on The Opie & Anthony Show to discuss his new book. Luckily for humanity, our greatest living stand-up comedian, Louis C.K., was also a guest, and he asked Rumsfelf point-blank if he is a lizard. Rumsfeld’s response? Some weird story about a guy buying him dinner that had nothing to do with the question. C.K. went on to ask the question a few more times during the interview, and specifically asked if Rumsfeld ate Mexican babies, but he wouldn’t even explain why he wouldn’t respond to the lizard question. The lizard question is first posed at the 2:37 mark in this video. After the interview, Louis C.K. supports his conclusion that Rumsfeld is obviously a space lizard. Read more on Donald Rumsfeld Refuses To Answer Whether Or Not He’s a Lizard Person…
  the interrupter / masturbating bear

Here Are All 48 Times Bill O’Reilly Interrupted President Obama Sunday

We finally got around to watching that Super Bowl interview Bill O’Reilly did with President Obama, and it turns out it’s not much of an interview at all. Basically it’s just an opportunity for O’Reilly to annoy the president of the United States every few seconds by interrupting him. You know, the sort of decorum one usually has when ones speaks with the head of state. We counted it up and found 48 instances of O’Reilly interrupting the president in this single interview. And we collected them all for you in one annoying video! Read more on Here Are All 48 Times Bill O’Reilly Interrupted President Obama Sunday…
  so it's a sexy boehner?

Bristol Palin Doesn’t ‘Have a Sexy Bone’ In Her Body

Palin warblogger Adrienne Ross is an actual BLACK PERSON who runs MotivationTruth, which is of course a perfectly descriptive name for a blog about Sarah Palin. Ross was awarded an interview with Bristol Palin, and the lack of self-awareness by the two of them in this piece is rather entertaining. This girl dances on a reality teevee show because she is intelligent and entrepreneurial and cares a lot about her son, you see. Read more on Bristol Palin Doesn’t ‘Have a Sexy Bone’ In Her Body…