interns
As America and the Entire Industrialized World dips into the second act of our 21st Century Greatest Depression, workers and employers are developing new skills to cope with the complete lack of money. In the Los Angeles City Attorney’s office, for example, about a hundred actual qualified lawyers have worked in the “reserve” program, meaning [...]
Oh the interns! They were everywhere, but now they’re leaving, so it’s time to say goodbye to DC’s Summer Slave Class. They came, they stapled, threw up on bars, ran around half-naked, and accomplished … nothing. And so, Interns, as you put the final touches on your collages, or whatever you did for your One [...]
If you make it through even a little of the “50 Most Beautiful People” on the Hill list — especially the moving prose — you will learn that the people on this annual summer-gimmick list made it there because of the ability to survive on a diet of cheese nips, pasta, and Diet Mountain Dew. [...]
They’re everywhere by now. The interns. Stapling, filing, eating, breathing, doing things that only they think are important. But being in intern is hard — Intern Riley worked for this four-star publication and even he barely made it out of DC alive. But what if the 20,000 or so of them who flock to DC [...]
Our fallen heroes were honored yesterday, and summer was officially born. This means that in just 12 short weeks it will be Labor Day, the slightly less morbid three-day cluster of BBQs and booze that will mark the end of summer. Now, if 12 weeks is enough time to clean up an inconvenient oil spill, [...]
It’s the middle of May and school is out for the summer, which can only mean one thing: It’s Intern Season again in DC. Summer marks the glorious time in DC when young ‘uns from far and wide come to the District and wow us with their incredible ability to lick envelopes, file paperwork, answer [...]
Ooh, an outdoor adventure for shouty South Carolina Congressman Joe Wilson. If anyone deserves it, it is him. Maybe he is taking a few days to “write something,” like his state’s governor did when he went hiking. Who is this “Maryanna Lynch” though, like his wife or some such? Maybe she had a career? And [...]
Look what a little birdie has discovered in a secret corner of the Internet: Michael Steele in various wacky poses with RNC interns. So hilarious, yet so copyrighted! Enjoy. UPDATE: Round Two. [Odell Photos]
August is rapidly deteriorating into September, which means soon there will be no more summer interns to brighten your day, with intern sunshine. Heavens, we’ll miss their shenanigans — who will be here to jam the ATM machines, with red intern badges? Yes, we’ll always cherish the laughs. The tears. The memories that will require [...]
Considering the way DC interns and pages spend literally every waking hour exchanging bodily fluids and poop with each other and their middle-aged closeted bosses, the only thing surprising about the “Senate Pages Got The Pig AIDS” story is that the number of infected pages is only five. Jesus, about 98% of them already have [...]
Some intern for Connecticut congressman John Larson is probably being waterboarded right now for posting some frustration on his Facebook page: “One more constituent screaming at me about health care before lunch would be great. Please? No, the government will not invade your house and force you to accept public health care. But we will [...]
Experts agree: Sometime between now and 5PM, DC will be ravaged by 70 mph winds, lightning storms, and many inches of rain. And it’ll still be humid as a mofo. Why is Woton so angry with DC? Did a Republican senator elope with Brunhilda? Confess before you get us all killed! [DCist]
Intern Jack: How can you sit there, calmly eating muffins when we are both supposed to be organizing paperclips? Intern Algernon: What are American muffins? Do you think they have them in America? Intern Jack: Fuck if I know. [Spotted: DC Summer Interns]
The young intern was hungry for some popcorn, so she put her intern badge in the microwave. Later she spilled some cranberry juice on her favorite pleated skirt, so she used her intern badge to rub the stain out. And after another long day of indexing toenail clippings, the exhausted young intern walked to Metro [...]
