John Oliver proudly brings you the first story on Net Neutrality that will actually keep the interest of people who aren’t already Net Neutrality activists, and for this, Last Week Tonight probably deserves an Emmy. It helps that Oliver starts off by acknowledging that Net Neutrality is not an exciting, sexy topic, admitting that it’s […]

OMG! Did you guys hear that the Internet is being given away? Quick! Download all the dirtiest porn you can, because THE INTERNET IS ABOUT TO GO AWAY FOREVER! YES, GODDAMIT, THIS DOES TOO DESERVE ALL CAPS BECAUSE THE INTERNET WORLD IS COMING TO AN END. At least, that’s what we are hearing. Are you […]

Texas Congressarmadillo Steve Stockman, veteran of such memorable stunts as inviting Ted Nugent to join him for the State of the Union Address and tongue-kissing the Obama Rodeo Clown guy (which we’d somehow forgotten…How did our republic ever weather that crisis?), had this tech-savvy insight today, which an aide probably explained to him as he […]

A moment of silent regard, please, for Matt McCall, a “conservative entrepreneur” running against Lamar Smith in Texas District 12. In addition to being a wingnut climate change denier, Smith sponsored the “Stop Online Piracy Act” (SOPA), which was widely despised by your computer geeky types, who partly shut down their interweb sites a while […]

(See update at end of post) You will be delighted to know that, today at least, the title “Alabama State Senator” is not going to be associated with yet another nomination for Wonkette’s coveted Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year Award. Rather, it is going to be followed by a name, which is “Shadrack McGill,” and […]

Internet commenters: they are the suck! (Present company … excepted? Hmmm.) You cannot read any story about any person whose name ends with ‘z’ (‘SPANICS) without getting an eyeful of the most insanely racist shit, the kind that makes your stomach sink into your liver, as if your liver was not having enough problems without […]

You know that one Onion story that’s nearly mandatory in any discussion of the general awesomeness of Old Handsome Joe Biden, right? (Frankly, we doubt we even needed to link to it, but it’s a habit by now.) You probably also know that Biden knows about the meme, and thinks it’s “hilarious,” right? You might […]

Mitt Romney is giving up on his roots, the Swedes are embarrassed, and “.pizza” is available as a domain name! It’s a trippy day all around, folks. Mitt Romney is forsaking his home states Michigan, Massachusetts, and California, because he knows he can’t win in them. He becomes the first ever presidential candidate to do […]

We tricked you! The nice Libertarian fellows in the Detroit hotel bar at 1:30 in the morning were not nice at all! They were stupid fucking idiots! But we learned a lot from them anyway, like so: * Al Gore invented the Internet. * Al Gore lied about being the basis for the main character […]

Your morning news: this time with a main dish of weird news that Americans have finally begun stealing jobs back from China, a side of old news (yeah, yeah, Bush is annoying) and a dessert of future news (everyone’s going to be on Facebook soon!). America is actually stealing jobs from China. Someone explain this […]

Last night, when I was swatting at a mosquito, I thought to myself, “I should probably run to the hardware store to get a blowtorch, because that would be the best and most efficient way to kill this here mosquito, and also while I’m at it, I might be able to use it to fix […]

Hey, everyone still remember the Stop Online Piracy Act that the cranky old farts over at famous Washington senior center Congress have been feverishly gluing together during craft time, to try to make all that noise from “the tubes” go away? More and more people really, really hate the bill! This is not surprising, because […]

Fearmongering terror toad Joe Lieberman is the worst person in the Senate — not because he’s the dumbest, or the most personally repulsive, but because he has spent the past decade using his supposed “credibility” as a Democrat senator to wage domestic war against the American People. His latest attempt is an Internet Gulag for […]

Because of the great dishonor now associated with being a United States military veteran under the Kenyan Usurper Barack Obama, the Pentagon decided to change Veterans Day to Nigel Tufnel Day — you know, because it’s 11/11/11 according to a particular reading of the Western calendar, and because Nigel Tufnel was a historical druid saint […]