internet
Internet Wants To Buy Old Handsome Joe Biden A Trans Am For Teh Lulz, Charity
You know that one Onion story that’s nearly mandatory in any discussion of the general awesomeness of Old Handsome Joe Biden, right? (Frankly, we doubt we even needed to link to it, but it’s a habit by now.) You probably also know that Biden knows about the meme, and thinks it’s “hilarious,” right? You might [...]
Mitt Can’t Go Home Again
Mitt Romney is giving up on his roots, the Swedes are embarrassed, and “.pizza” is available as a domain name! It’s a trippy day all around, folks. Mitt Romney is forsaking his home states Michigan, Massachusetts, and California, because he knows he can’t win in them. He becomes the first ever presidential candidate to do [...]
What We Learned From The Nice Libertarian Fellows At 1:30 In The Morning In A Detroit Hotel Bar
We tricked you! The nice Libertarian fellows in the Detroit hotel bar at 1:30 in the morning were not nice at all! They were stupid fucking idiots! But we learned a lot from them anyway, like so: * Al Gore invented the Internet. * Al Gore lied about being the basis for the main character [...]
China Didn’t Want Those Dumb American Jobs Anyway
Your morning news: this time with a main dish of weird news that Americans have finally begun stealing jobs back from China, a side of old news (yeah, yeah, Bush is annoying) and a dessert of future news (everyone’s going to be on Facebook soon!). America is actually stealing jobs from China. Someone explain this [...]
SOPA-Loving Congress Also Loves Downloading Pirated Files
Hey, everyone still remember the Stop Online Piracy Act that the cranky old farts over at famous Washington senior center Congress have been feverishly gluing together during craft time, to try to make all that noise from “the tubes” go away? More and more people really, really hate the bill! This is not surprising, because [...]
Internet Seeks ‘Off Switch’ For Joe Lieberman
Fearmongering terror toad Joe Lieberman is the worst person in the Senate — not because he’s the dumbest, or the most personally repulsive, but because he has spent the past decade using his supposed “credibility” as a Democrat senator to wage domestic war against the American People. His latest attempt is an Internet Gulag for [...]
Veterans Day Switched To More Fun Day Honoring Spinal Tap Idiot
Because of the great dishonor now associated with being a United States military veteran under the Kenyan Usurper Barack Obama, the Pentagon decided to change Veterans Day to Nigel Tufnel Day — you know, because it’s 11/11/11 according to a particular reading of the Western calendar, and because Nigel Tufnel was a historical druid saint [...]
New Bipartisan Bill Will Allow U.S. Gov’t To Shut Off Any Website, Anywhere, For Any Reason
You know how the politicians are always saying we need to be competitive with China? Well, we are about to get super competitive when it comes to internal censorship of the global Internet. Everybody except for a handful of malcontent “privacy activists” is behind the bold new plan to make all Internet service providers in [...]
Norway’s Mass Murderer Also Euro-Teabagger & Right-Wing Blog Wingnut
Did right-wing hate blogs make the Norwegian psychopath kill all those people? No, of course not. But when violent crazy people have a “safe place” (the right-wing hate Web) to spout their vile hatred and violent fantasies alongside a bunch of other dingbat people who despise various ethnicities and cultures, the situation certainly isn’t helped. [...]
White House Not Releasing Osama Photos Because Internet Will Make Funny ‘Shops
Gates said his concerns about releasing the bin Laden photos were dramatized by Photoshopping of an official White House picture taken of Obama’s national security team while they were monitoring a live video feed of the operation in which Navy SEALs ultimately killed bin Laden. “I have gotten from friends all over the country copies [...]
Rick Santorum Wants the Google To Be Civil, Stop Calling Him Gay Sex Names
Yes, Rick Santorum is aware that, according to the Internet, his name means “that frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex,” thanks to the Internet’s love advice guy, Dan Savage. But Rick Santorum also heard President Obama say something about “civility” when that woman who actually has [...]
Pedophile Industrial Complex Worried New Device Could End Fear of Pedophiles
Jesus, first the defense industry loses Joe Lieberman, and now the pedophile-castration industry suffers this? A mobile phone application which claims to identify adults posing as children is to be released. The team behind Child Defence says the app can analyse language to generate an age profile, identifying potential paedophiles. [...] Child campaigning charity NSPCC [...]
NSA Building Million-Square-Foot Facility To Look At Your Por
The National Security Administration is building a $1.2 billion data center in Utah that will span a million square feet, and will be the largest Department of Defense war-building building in the country. By comparison, the Pentagon is 6.5 million square feet. Do these people realize you don’t really need much physical space to go [...]
blog advertising is good for you
There Are People In This World Who Simply Do Not Care For Michelle Obama
by Rebecca Schoenkopf
Internet commenters: they are the suck! (Present company … excepted? Hmmm.) You cannot read any story about any person whose name ends with ‘z’ (‘SPANICS) without getting an eyeful of the most insanely racist shit, the kind that makes your stomach sink into your liver, as if your liver was not having enough problems without [...]