Wonkette

Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne announced on Wednesday that the Polar Bear would be put on the Threatened Species list, because all the ice has melted and that’s where the Polar Bear lives, on a piece of ice. Also, these comical Polar Bears actually attended Kempthorne’s press conference in Washington. See, they really have no place to go now! [AP Photo]

For the first time since the Great Depression the Secretary of the Interior is making news with a proposal. The Secretary, whose name is… let’s ask Google… Kempthorne, Dirk Kempthorne, “proposed new regulations Wednesday that would allow people to carry a concealed weapon in some national parks and wildlife refuges.” Someone has been stealing Kempthorne’s pic-a-nic baskets recently, and he is Bitter and Clinging To Guns? Or maybe he’s just going through a terrible divorce/lobotomy. MORE »

J. Steven “Steve” Griles went from coal lobbyist to Deputy Secretary for the U.S. Department of Interior, proving that the American Dream is still a reality. MORE »

Julie MacDonald, the Interior Department’s Assistant Secretary of Fish, Wildlife and Parks, is in a bit of hot water for, well, the usual cronyism bullshit that every single hack in every single department is guilty of to varying degress. One of the complaints: she was a bit careless with sensitive DoI documents, and, you know, tended to forward a lot of them on to lobbyists and right-wing think tanks. Oh, and random 14-year-old internet nerds. MORE »

* Henry Paulson and Rob Portman have been “unleashed” on Democrats who’re loud-mouthing about deficit reduction. [WP]
* Democrats thumping Bible on march to political center. [NYT]
* New “Sportsman’s Alliance” conservation group to advocate wildlife habitats be kept as pristine places to stroll about blasting animals with shotguns. [WP]
* Wayne Allard plans the work, works the plan, and marks the wall to count the days til he’s just scheduling tee times. [WP, NYT]
* President Bush maintains that law enforcement has the authority to look into exactly when and where terror suspects saved 39 cents on garlic hummus and triscuits. [WP]
* Interior Department Mineral Manager Johnnie Burton isn’t quite “perfect at everything.” [NYT]
* Condi’s looking forward to a threesome next month. [LAT]
* MLK day was inspirational for Russell Simmons, who now has an idea for a great new reality show. [NYT]

* Harriet Miers looks forward to spending time with her friends Rose, Blanche, and Sophia. [Think Progress]
* Some say “improper social ties.” Others say, “Oil companies get geeky GS-12s laid in exchange for over-lucrative government mineral rights.” [TPM Muckraker]
* Charlie Rangel takes his office back from that “son of a bitch” Dick Cheney. [Raw Story]
* “By next week we must start preparing the nation and our military for war with Iran.” [Blogs for Bush]
* 6,000-year-old remains of world’s first politician discovered. [Q and O]
* CQ in COI! Totally on the take from pro-business CoC! [The Tortellini]
* Tonight’s list of parties you really want to crash and send us pictures from. [National Journal]

• Karl Rove is “just eight days from having his genius designation revoked — or upgraded to platinum status.” [WP, LAT]

• US Military has “misplaced” about 14,000 automatic weapons somewhere in Iraq. [NYT]
• New crop of centrist Democrats, including former Redskin flop Heath Shuler, may help retake Congress, only to do battle with more liberal elements of the party. [NYT]
• It’s not just global warming: Bush administration officials overrule scientists’ recommendations to protect species facing extinction, such as the very cute Gunnison sage grouse. [WP]
• Nancy Pelosi is financing the Democratic ascendancy one garden party at a time. [NYT]
• “A host of sleeper social issues, including abortion, same-sex marriage and stem-cell research will keep campaign 2006 interesting to the end.” [Newsweek]
• Heavy hitters on human rights weigh in against North Korea’s abuses. [NYT]

• Today’s plane crash:Mark Foley::9/11:Gary Condit [TBogg]

• Bill Clinton, Commander Sulu, and Janet Jackson want you to know that you’re not fooling anyone. [YouTube]
• If you had today in the “first person to suggest using Jack Bauer to topple North Korea” office pool, you win. [HuffPo]
• Don’t let alcohol ruin your life. One crazy rave and you’ll be off the sauce for good. [Hit & Run]
• John McCain can’t get “straight-talk” letter about North Korea into any newspapers, sighs, finds willing blog. [Captain's Quarters]
• The Interior Department’s smut blocking algorithm has a decidedly liberal bias. [Atlas Shrugs]
• Florida voters to Katherine Harris: “I sometimes think that all you tell me of knighthood, kingdoms, empires and islands is all windy blather and lies.” [Washington Wire]

• Foley’s cover this whole time wasn’t Hastert but a secret cabal of gay House members. [Whiskey Bar]

• Who will all be outed next week. [Political Animal]
• Oh! Those wacky prank playing pages. “Just kidding Mark, you can come out now!” [LGF]
• Only a day left to get these Foley jokes memorized in time for the weekend. [Boozhy]
• Every great thing has its drawbacks, and this Cocktober the return of the Austin Powers voice is already annoying the shit out of us. [Hotline on Call]
• Iran’s highest religious authority addresses the issue of strokin’ during Ramadan: apparently it’s fine as long as you don’t stain the sheets. [Captain's Quarters]
• Interior Department employees love the porn. Really, they love it. [Slashdot]

* House Republicans say corruption is a perceived-reality: “We must realize that the Majority we have all worked so hard for is in jeopardy.” Leadership race will likely become a “referendum on how seriously the party is taking” the scandal. [WP, NYT]
* Republican lawmakers call for White House to disclose records about Jack Abramoff; Abramoff met with Bush during at least six “social occasions.” Anonymous source: “The White House is making too much of a mystery out of this and needs to release the dates, times, details and photos of the visits. It’s not like [Abramoff and Mr. Bush] were plotting to overthrow Iraq.” [LAT, WT]
* Bush will use State of the Union to preview midterm campaign themes and paint optimistic portrait; speech avoids “ambitious” proposals. Senior administration official: “America ought to be leading the way, working to shape events. We’re always better when we’re out there shaping events, rather than being shaped by them.” [LAT, WT]
* Challenge of Bush’s State of the Union falls on William McGurn, the director of White House speechwriting. McGurn: “He seems in a good mood. Part of his good mood, we hope, is that we give him something good to read that reflects what he wants to do.” [NYT, USAT]
* Interior Department offered emergency services and personnel to FEMA in the “immediate aftermath” of Katrina but received a delayed response. [WP, NYT]
* Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.): “I think that the Democrats have to do a much better job in making their case on these issues. These last-minute efforts, using procedural maneuvers inside the Beltway, I think, has been the wrong way of going about it.” [WT]

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