JON CORZINE IS TAKING “NEW JERSEY” SO LITERALLY: “Asked directly if he thought [Chris] Christie was fat, Corzine touched his bare head, smiled and said, ‘Am I bald?’” By default Jon Corzine is now automatically governor of eighth grade and certain parts of the South Shore of Long Island. [Ben Smith]

There’s basically no national or ethnic group you can make fun of these days without being accused of racism, but a few are considered mildly less offensive than others. For example, you can always call Scots “stabby,” because they love to stab each other for sport, and Belgians are usually fair game, too, due to their treacherousness and love of mayonnaise. But as Paul Krugman discovered last week, you do not get away with insulting the Swiss. MORE »

Senator James Inhofe recently unleashed on Al Franken the most foul insult a short, liberal Jew from Minnesota can ever hope to hear: he called him a clown. And Franken took it like a gentleman, but you could tell he was mortally offended. MORE »

OBAMA BEGINS COMMENCEMENT ADDRESS TOUR 2009: First stop, Arizona State, where his lack of a “body of work” prevented his receiving an honorary degree: “I have to tell you, I really thought it was much ado about nothing, but I think we all learned an important lesson. I learned to never again pick another team over the Sun Devils in my NCAA bracket. It won’t happen again. And President Crow and the Board of Regents will soon learn all about being audited by the IRS.” We cannot WAIT for the abortion jokes when he gets to Notre Dame. [Washington Post]

The DNC solicited suggestions for insults to hurl at Rush Limbaugh, and boy howdy, did Democrats deliver! This stone cold rebuke to the leprous sea-monkey Rush Limbaugh will surely have him curled in a fetal position, on a pile of money. [The Democratic Party]

You people are very on top of things, aren’t you? You say, “Ha ha it would be funny to have a game like the EcoDriving USA game, only with throwing shoes at George W. Bush,” and voila, here it is! You win if you get to 10 points before you have a seizure. [blogslut]

Thrice-married French President Nicolas Sarkozy went to the annual farm fair in Paris this weekend and insulted the crap out of some guy who didn’t want to shake his hand. A journalist caught the whole miserable exchange on video, so now the whole world can hear Sarkozy saying something that sounds just wonderful but apparently means “Get lost, dumbass.” Shocking video footage, after the jump! MORE »

John Hart, communications director for Sen. Tom Coburn, to his collegues, on his boss’s desire to investigate a company that employs the son of Sen. Ben Nelson: “This will shut that f—er up… I can’t wait to send an In Case You Missed It to Nebraska press that will be forwarded to a–face.” Coburn’s legislative director Roland Foster had the reply-all follow-up zing: MORE »

President responds to question from BBC Political Editor with hilarious jokes about his bald head and how much he hates him. [E&P]

Former presidents rarely talk shit about their successors, according to the New York Times, except for when they do, which is kind of often. This is why it was such a shock to hear Jimmy Carter accurately point out how terrible and stupid this current administration is. MORE »

WALNUTS today, during a blogger conference call (no, we don’t know what those are): MORE »