Tag Archives: instapundit

  dumb

Wingnut Chorus: Fake-Black NAACP Lady Just Like Fake-Lady Caitlyn Jenner, Haw Haw Haw

Welcome to the stupid part of the internet.
So that weird story is going around, about Rachel Dolezal, the head of the Spokane chapter of the NAACP, who may have been pretending to be black for many years, while actually being a white lady from Montana. Most normal people’s reactions to the story have been along the lines of “Huh!” and “That’s weird!” and “Well, I’ll be!” But not wingnuts. Oh no. Because they were led to believe, perhaps by unintentionally negligent parents, that they are “clever” and “good at thinking,” they immediately saw the parallel that flew right over silly liberals’ heads: CAITLYN JENNER! Because, see, Caitlyn is transgender, and now Dolezal is TRANSBLACK, because that’s a thing, you betcha, and all the wingnuts patted themselves on their sweaty grundles, satisfied that they had stuck it to the liberals YET AGIN!, Read more on Wingnut Chorus: Fake-Black NAACP Lady Just Like Fake-Lady Caitlyn Jenner, Haw Haw Haw…
  of course they call it a LIBERAL arts education

No One Cares About Candidates’ College Degrees, Wingnuts Upset Anyway Because It Is A Day

When your elitist liberal friend says he wants to get a college education.
Sweet merciful Yahweh, are we really going to have to spend the next year and a half debating the merits of a college education for presidential candidates? Apparently we are, if the recent hooting over Rand Paul and Scott Walker lacking bachelor’s degrees is any indication. Count us among the camp that thinks not having completed an undergraduate degree is irrelevant to one’s qualifications for the presidency. Our last president had degrees from two Ivy League schools, and he had the intellectual firepower of a mangled squirrel being grilled for supper on the engine block of a ’73 Matador. Read more on No One Cares About Candidates’ College Degrees, Wingnuts Upset Anyway Because It Is A Day…
  Our Cold Dead Hands

Three Dead In Kansas Shooting; Wingnuts Heroically Scramble To Prove Suspected Shooter Not A Republican

Another day, another shitwit with a gun going off his nut and very publicly shooting a bunch of holes in a bunch of innocent unarmed people somewhere in America. Okay, this actually happens every day, but Sunday’s shooting in Kansas City is getting the media attention so let’s talk about it for a minute. The accused shooter is one Frazier Glenn Miller, who also goes by the name Frazier Glenn Cross, and who has a long history of involvement with the white supremacist movement. Miller allegedly shot to death a doctor and his teenage grandson in the parking lot of the Overland Park Jewish Community Center and then an as-yet-unidentified woman at the nearby Village Shalom, a Jewish retirement community (the two dead at the JCC were reportedly Methodists — for a guy who hates Jews, Miller sure sucks at identifying them). And as he was put into a police car, he shouted “Heil Hitler” for the cameras. We’re pretty sure the wingnuts will call for arming all the residents of every nursing home in America any minute now, if they haven’t already. Because the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a palsied good guy with a gun. And regular target practice could be a nice activity for all the seniors, in between working on jigsaw puzzles and bitching that their children never visit. Read more on Three Dead In Kansas Shooting; Wingnuts Heroically Scramble To Prove Suspected Shooter Not A Republican…
  columns of mass stupidity

Instapundit Glenn Reynolds Will Now Dumbsplain Why Barack Obama Is Like A Black Neville Chamberlain

If there is one thing for which we can always count on the Ole Perfesser, Glenn “Instapundit” Reynolds, it is his propensity for churning out columns of such rank stupidity and willful ignorance that we wonder if all his former students might have an easily winnable class action lawsuit against him for stealing all their tuition monies in exchange for whatever “education” he pretended to impart to them. Also he’s kind of a schmuck. So let us dive into whatever this tripe is that the screeching poo-flingers of the rightwing monkey house were passing around the Intertubes yesterday, and bang our heads against our desks in a concordant symphony, for freedom: Read more on Instapundit Glenn Reynolds Will Now Dumbsplain Why Barack Obama Is Like A Black Neville Chamberlain…
  so's your face

The Instapundit Would Like All You Ladies To Know Just How Very Much Democrats Hate You

Glenn “Instapundit” Reynolds, last seen in these pages mansplaining to Gabby Giffords that she should sit down and shut up and not worry her pretty little ventilated head about all those guns someone might use to shoot someone else in the brain, would like all the wimmenz to know that it is the Democrats what are making not love but war on you all the time: If you look past words to actual deeds, most of the action in the war on women seems to be coming from the Democratic front lately. Sure, if by lately you mean “last week.” The week before that (and before that, and before that) it was coming from Republicans in Texas and North Carolina and Wisconsin and Indiana and North Dakota. And on a daily basis in our Twitter feed it comes much more from conservatives complaining about horrors such as how they think they are being forced to pay for slut pills so women can have sexytimes without getting knocked up, and also for a whole host of other very unsexy health issues that conservatives never want to acknowledge doctors will often prescribe slut pills for. And it is not liberals that are constantly trying to run Planned Parenthood out of business by flat-out lying about the organization’s activities in order to remove a source of help for family planning and women’s health issues from our nation’s (usually much poorer) communities. Read more on The Instapundit Would Like All You Ladies To Know Just How Very Much Democrats Hate You…
  bully for you

‘Instapundit’ Tells Whats-Her-Name, That Lady Who Got Shot In The Face, To Stop ‘Bullying’ People

Of the many, many, many fine citizens who have sorely tested our hippie nonviolent ways this week, we may have finally found a winner. See that tweet up there? Yeah, it is right there, and it is fairly self-explanatory, but here is a TINY bit more background: Gabby Giffords, the former congresswoman who posted the tweet evincing sadness that the Senate’s Syphilitic Dick Caucus had successfully filibustered a modest, watered-down gun-background-check bill, was once SHOT IN THE FUCKING HEAD. Read more on ‘Instapundit’ Tells Whats-Her-Name, That Lady Who Got Shot In The Face, To Stop ‘Bullying’ People…
  kick off your sunday shoes

Instapundit Wants GOP To Be Hep And Groovy Like Now And Happening 30-Year-Old Flick ‘Footloose’

Glenn Reynolds, last seen in these pages wondering why bitches be fucking boys’ shit up, yo, has noticed that Barack Stalin Obama won the youth vote in the 2012 election by a nearly 2-to-1 margin. Luckily Glenn’s day job keeps him engaged with young people, so he is receptive to their concerns about the future and understands why they saw Obama as the candidate best suited to understand and advocate for them, and now Glenn can offer the GOP all sorts of nifty ideas about how to appeal to the 18-to-29 demographic. Or he could base his concern-trolling on a character in a movie that is older than every single member of that demographic. Whatever. Read more on Instapundit Wants GOP To Be Hep And Groovy Like Now And Happening 30-Year-Old Flick ‘Footloose’…
 

OMFG Wonkette Wins the Bloggie!

Right now in Austin, millions are celebrating the announcement of the 2007 Bloggie Award Winners. And guess who won the Best Political Weblog? That’s right, your beloved Wonkette! As we predicted, fans of conservative and liberal blogs totally canceled each other out, leaving Wonkette with the honorable honor. Read more on OMFG Wonkette Wins the Bloggie!…
 

Well, Have You Tried to Open a Bag of Potato Chips Lately?

Another Wednesday, another installment of our very favorite regular blog feature, “What As Andy Thinking.” Here, courtesy CBS, the topics of some of Andy Rooney’s 60 Minutes editorials in 2003: * 03/02/03: “Fashion Sense?” – Andy reads a fashion magazine * 04/20/03: “An Illuminating Thought” – the sources of light * 05/25/03: “Hard To Open” – have you tried to open a bottle of aspirin lately…or a bag of potato chips? * 06/22/03: “Fashion Sense” – what it’s like to read a fashion magazine [Note: apparently different from 3/2/04 segment] * 11/23/03: “What I Like And Dislike” – Andy lists both the things he likes and things he dislikes Read more on Well, Have You Tried to Open a Bag of Potato Chips Lately?…
 

Rumors on the Internets: Blogs Are the New Hastily Scribbled Rally Posters

* Jay Tea urges L.A. protesters to refrain from threat-making; real Americans don’t take kindly to it. The blogger compares “immigration advocates” to Seine-side haute protesters, concluding that each group is making unreasonable demands on their respective “system[s].” [Wizbang] * Michelle Malkin characterizes attendants of the L.A. rally as “divisive militants” and reminds you that their sympathizers lurk in the mainstream. [Michelle Malkin] * Don Surber believes this is a problem for California — not Bush — to solve. Federal resources remain “better invested” in an undisclosed “elsewhere.” [Don Surber] * Glenn Reynolds considers the fates of political parties amidst the “backlash” of the protest march. [InstaPundit] * Mickey Kaus posits immigration, ripe for GOP finesse, as the hot button issue in the midterm elections. Here’s how Republican candidates can play it, with minimal party damage incurred. [Slate] Read more on Rumors on the Internets: Blogs Are the New Hastily Scribbled Rally Posters…
 

An Army of Davids Attacks Barry C. Lynn

Last night, the Wonkettes left their respective apartments and headed out into the real world, to attend an exciting event at the National Press Club. The event, “An Army of Davids or the Triumph of Goliath?”, was pitched as “a no-holds-barred debate” between these three giants: Glenn Reynolds, the Instapundit himself, and author of the just-published An Army of Davids; Joe Trippi, former campaign manager for Howard Dean, and author of The Revolution Will Not Be Televised; and Barry C. Lynn, senior fellow at the New American Foundation, and author of End of the Line. (They are pictured above, from left to right: Lynn, Trippi, Reynolds, and moderator Nick Gillespie, editor-in-chief of Reason.) After the jump, our comprehensive coverage — plus more fantastic photos, taken by Wonkette shutterbug Liz Gorman, Intrepid Girl Reporter. Enjoy! Read more on An Army of Davids Attacks Barry C. Lynn…
 

CPAC-ing Heat: Wonkette Gets Drunk With Right-Wingers

Last week, from Thursday, February 9, through Saturday, February 11, conservative political activists from around the country descended upon Washington for the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC). And the Wonkette Welcome Wagon was there to meet them! Okay, we kinda missed all of the panels, speeches, and events. We didn’t get to hear Ann Coulter rail against “ragheads,” and we missed the mob-scene book signings by blogebrities Glenn Reynolds and Michelle Malkin. Nor did we attend the remarks of self-professed ex-gay Alan Chambers, who said sodomy was like fast food: “It will kill you.” Uh, not if you don’t swallow! (Remember, boys and girls: as former President Clinton can tell you, the legal definition of sodomy encompasses a wide range of sexual acts. Black’s Law Dictionary defines sodomy as “oral or anal copulation between humans, or between humans and animals.” In other words, it’s not just assfucking!) We don’t look that drunk, do we? (Photo by the Boi From Troy, blogging at our too-cool-for-school sibling.) Sorry for that scholarly digression. Although we missed CPAC’s substantive presentations — if Ann Coulter mocking John Kerry as the other “dominant woman in American politics” qualifies as “substantive” — we did show up for the most important part: the drinking! A chronicle of our misadventures, after the jump. Read more on CPAC-ing Heat: Wonkette Gets Drunk With Right-Wingers…
 

Remainders: Velcro Gays

•  Is Condi gay?!?!?!?!??! Only the National Enquirer knows for sure. But we refuse to subscribe to find out. So much better to imagine… mmmm…. [National Enquirer] • Bush lurves Tina’s gams. [AP] • “Velcro Veep” bounces off me and sticks on you. [USAT] • Wal-mart opposition has “bamboo” in the lobby. Yeah, yeah…. “bamboo.” [USAT] • Condi Rice’s media guy. (Ask him about the gay!) Brilliant about image, total cheapskate on the minibar. [NYT] • C-SPAN totally biased! On “Washington Journal,” “just 3 percent were women of color.” Well fuck. [FAIR] • Washington has a gap between the “haves and the haves-power.” But we have awesome boots. [WP] • “I’M HOME FROM HAVING A COLONOSCOPY — everything went fine, but I think I’ll let the drugs leave my system for a while longer before doing any serious blogging.” Pretty much the definition of TMI. [Instapundit] Read more on Remainders: Velcro Gays…
 

Television Without Pussy

An Instapundit reader looks at the declining audience for the MSM and comes up with a fascinating hypothesis: The numbers are down because there’s too much girlstuff on the tv. I might be wrong, but in my view, the media gives so much to the women’s point of view that they demonstrate disrespect, or at the very least, dismissiveness, for men and masculinity and fatherhood. I’m convinced that this is the reason men are no longer interested in watching anything but sports. Has this person not seen “Stacked”? Wonders Insty’s correspondent: “It seems like there MIGHT be some significant business opportunity there.” Yes. I believe it’s called “The Playboy Channel.” Read more on Television Without Pussy…