injuries
A White House Staffer May Have His Fingers Amputated Because…?
Is President Obama going around the White House residence smashing staffers’ fingers because his sheets didn’t have proper hospital corners? The only correct answer can be “yes,” because will you just look at what happened today: “A member of the White House household staff suffered an on-the-job injury Tuesday and may have lost some fingers.”
Harry Reid Injured By Stationary Car
Sure, everyone, talk about Osama bin Laden all you want, just ignore that Harry Reid ALSO ALMOST DIED this morning. Whatever would this country do if Harry Reid was not the Senate majority leader? Replace him with Chuck Schumer or Dick Durbin and promptly forget he existed? Yes, probably. But maybe we would take weeks [...]
Clinton’s Elbow Sets Off Diplomatic Crisis
Oh noes, Secretary Clinton won’t be going on previously scheduled trips abroad this week, due to having her elbow amputated and replaced with a bionic joint that shoots laser beams and takes orders directly from the president, Dick Cheney. She needs to rest up and not shake hands with anybody, which means that attendees of [...]
Sonia Sotomayor Feels No Human Pain
Sonia Sotomayor is so wacky that after breaking her ankle, she made a flight to Washington D.C. and visited the White House before going to the hospital. Why was Barack Obama unable to heal her? [YouTube]
Sotomayor Breaks Entire Body, At Airport
Seems the National Review erred in dubbing Sonia Sotomayor the one “Wise Latina” on Earth, because, as Joe Klein might say, if she’s so smart then why can’t she walk? “WASHINGTON (AP) – Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor broke her ankle Monday morning in an airport stumble on her way to Washington to meet with [...]
Falling TVs Are This Week’s Swine Flu
OK so President Obama may have weathered his first hundred days, a pirate attack, the pig AIDS, and the collapse of our financial and automotive sectors, but can he stand up to the nation’s latest Great Menace? We refer, of course, to an epidemic of falling televisions.
VP Debate Moderator Gwen Ifill Breaks Ankle, HOW PECULIAR HMM?
PBS anchor Gwen Ifill, who will host Thursday’s debate between Joe Biden and Sarah Palin, purportedly broke her ankle “after tripping and falling down stairs at her home last night.” Oh well what a timely “accident,” and what a likely “story,” which sounds nothing like “intimidation.” CAN SOMEONE then, maybe, explain the letter found next [...]
There Are Many Ways for a Kennedy To Get Hammered
Presidential Pratfall Watch
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