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Tag: injuries

Tales Of Restaurant Injuries And Explosions

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. We've got an unusual topic for regular readers: stories of injuries suffered in the line of duty. Also, at...
Still the dumbest book cover in the history of U.S. America

Allen West Can Keep Football Players From Getting Hurt, Just By Saying A Little Prayer!

Allen West, the Guardian of the Republic vile, disgraced torture fetishist and congressional race-loser who is also a creepazoid sex pervert, took some time off from those activities recently to discuss football injuries, and the best way to prevent them....
Miss him yet?

Rightwing Reads NYT Headline, Declares Bush Was Right About Everything

As we noted Wednesday, the New York Times has discovered that, after invading Iraq to keep Saddam Hussein from killing everybody with his huge Weapons of Mass Destruction program, which definitely included an ongoing program of building new chemical...

A White House Staffer May Have His Fingers Amputated Because…?

Is President Obama going around the White House residence smashing staffers' fingers because his sheets didn't have proper hospital corners? The only correct answer can be "yes," because will you just look at what happened today: "A member of...

Harry Reid Injured By Stationary Car

Sure, everyone, talk about Osama bin Laden all you want, just ignore that Harry Reid ALSO ALMOST DIED this morning. Whatever would this country do if Harry Reid was not the Senate majority leader? Replace him with Chuck Schumer...

Clinton’s Elbow Sets Off Diplomatic Crisis

Oh noes, Secretary Clinton won't be going on previously scheduled trips abroad this week, due to having her elbow amputated and replaced with a bionic joint that shoots laser beams and takes orders directly from the president, Dick Cheney....

Sonia Sotomayor Feels No Human Pain

Sonia Sotomayor is so wacky that after breaking her ankle, she made a flight to Washington D.C. and visited the White House before going to the hospital. Why was Barack Obama unable to heal her?

Sotomayor Breaks Entire Body, At Airport

Seems the National Review erred in dubbing Sonia Sotomayor the one "Wise Latina" on Earth, because, as Joe Klein might say, if she's so smart then why can't she walk? "WASHINGTON (AP) - Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor broke...

Falling TVs Are This Week’s Swine Flu

OK so President Obama may have weathered his first hundred days, a pirate attack, the pig AIDS, and the collapse of our financial and automotive sectors, but can he stand up to the nation's latest Great Menace? We refer,...

VP Debate Moderator Gwen Ifill Breaks Ankle, HOW PECULIAR HMM?

PBS anchor Gwen Ifill, who will host Thursday's debate between Joe Biden and Sarah Palin, purportedly broke her ankle "after tripping and falling down stairs at her home last night." Oh well what a timely "accident," and what a...

Presidential Pratfall Watch