Filthy cock jackal Eliot Spitzer has written another one of those columns for the online Slate magazine, and he’s already mastering the “Slate Style,” which is to take a widely accepted belief (e.g., “Dogs make good pets”) and write a cool 600 words arguing why its opposite is SECRETLY truer (”Why all dogs should die”). In this column he tackles Obama’s big infrastructure plan, saying that instead of funding immediate road repairs and stuff for short-term stimulus’ sake, we should invest in transforming the foundation of America’s infrastructure. It is a stupid article because, um, Obama’s plans do include all of that, which is kind of the point. This leads us to Spitzer’s ace-in-the-hole, which is of course the massive federal funding of Robot Construction. MORE »

Hey America, you may have been too busy delighting in the fruits of our thousand-year Mesopotamian adventure and rolling around on piles of strong dollars to notice our nation’s crumbling infrastructure. But thanks to Popular Mechanics, you can now find out which massive highway interchange, bridge, dam or waterway near you is about to collapse! And guess which proud metropolitan area earns not one but two spots on this coveted Top Ten list? Shame on you, Barack Obama! MORE »

Hey everyone, find the Deficient Bridge you drive over every day! [USAT]

Wait how did we not hear about the Baltimore-Washington Parkway being closed? Sure, we don’t drive, and we aren’t going to Baltimore this weekend or anything, and we don’t really read, like, the metro section, but still. It was closed because — wait for it — BRIDGES ARE FUCKING COLLAPSING. MORE »

Somehow, the brief political truce engendered by the tragic and inexplicable collapse of a freeway bridge in Minneapolis didn’t last. Against all odds, the most liberal city in the state is no longer thrilled with the response from their ambitious conservative governor. It turns out that a government that may be culpable in the disaster isn’t trusted to clean it up, for some crazy reason. MORE »

Our Federal Highway Administrator is on the case in Minneapolis, investigating why the 35W bridge collapsed and making sure it’s rebuilt speedily and safely. And the man knows plenty about infrastructure disasters — because he used to be one of the guys in charge of Massachusetts’ own Big Dig! MORE »

George W. Bush has boldly denounced congressional proposals to raise gas taxes enough to pay for fixing America’s thousands of bridges that are about to collapse, saying “That’s not the right way to prioritize the people’s money.” The American Society of Civil Engineers said in a recent report that fixing the United States’ crumbling infrastructure would cost $1.6 trillion — or roughly the amount of taxpayers’ money spent so far in Iraq to such great effect. MORE »

America’s Mayor(tm) and current City Councilman Marion Barry has a great new idea to make commuters hate DC even more: He wants toll booths on the district’s borders with Maryland and Virginia so you would have to pay a toll every time you drop into this hellhole for another crushing eight-hour day. MORE »