indictments

The United States Department of Justice has some shit to say about the Riddler and the Penguin and how they are NOT AWESOME, and also how they are indicted, thanks Batkid! (Anyone who wants to bitch about how Eric Holder is trying to stave off impeachment will go to commenter jail, FOREVER. And if you […]

Famous 2008 presidential sex-haver John Edwards is probably going to be indicted very soon for violating campaign laws in how he covered it all up, NBC News is reporting. “Son of a mill worker!” Edwards cursed to himself upon hearing this news, taking his lord’s name in vain. “We do not believe there is evidence […]

In 2008, the Committee on Oversight and Government Reform decided it would grandstand on the use of steroids in baseball, because what else were they going to do? Their jobs? (NO.) So this was a little circus for a while, and they subpoenaed famous baseball players to these hearings so that said members of Congress […]

Unbelievably batshit Detroit City Council member Monica Conyers, comparatively young wife of old Congressman John Conyers, may finally go to jail for being an insane, violent criminal. She “has received a pre-indictment letter from federal authorities who have given her until the end of today to reach a plea deal or they will proceed with […]

SNOOZER  2:59 pm May 28, 2009

by Jim Newell

THE CHICAGO INDICTMENT IS JUST SOME BORING ALDERMAN: Patrick Fitzgerald you are a loser. Your Wonkette editors had prepared for the worst regarding this impending indictment of an elected official in Chicago, “joking” that it was “probably just some alderman.” And that’s all it is, some slob who looks like Jesse Jackson after eating Rush […]

CHICAGO BREAKING NEWS!  12:41 pm May 28, 2009

by Jim Newell

FITZGERALD GOING NUTS AGAIN: Breaking news from Chicago! According to the Chicago Breaking News Center, “The U.S. Attorney’s Office in Chicago said it will hold a press conference at 2 p.m. today to announce public corruption charges. Sources say it is expected to be an indictment of an elected official.” Is it Roland Burris, after […]

THE POOR MAN'S FITZMAS  7:27 pm April 2, 2009

by Jim Newell

OH AND HERE’S SOME ACTUAL NEWS: “Blagojevich, 52, was indicted on 16 felony counts, including racketeering conspiracy, wire fraud, extortion conspiracy, attempted extortion and making false statements to federal agents. He allegedly abused his office in numerous matters to seek money, campaign contributions, and employment for himself and others, in exchange for official actions, including […]

Well, it would be nice if these guys ever went to jail for anything, but it seems unlikely that they will go to jail for this. A grand jury in South Texas handed down indictments against various current and former public officials connected with wrongdoing in private prisons — including, most notably, Dick Cheney and […]

Today, a federal grand jury indicted Alaskan Sen. Ted Stevens on seven counts of “filing false financial disclosures.” Stevens is the biggest catch in a four-year-old corruption investigation involving pretty much all Alaskan politicians, one that’s complicated not because of the crimes committed — lots of bribery, basically — but because there was so freaking […]

TUBES IN THE CLINK  12:55 pm July 29, 2008

by Sara K. Smith

SENATOR TED STEVENS INDICTED: The elusive Alaskan snow leopard who brought you “a series of tubes” has been indicted by a federal grand jury in relation to a year-long corruption investigation. [McClatchy]

MITT ROMNEY  4:15 pm June 4, 2007

Mexicans Are Murder

by Ken Layne