Tag Archives: indians

  it's morning in america

Nobody’s Bombing Anybody, At Least For Now

The U.S. has convinced its hotheaded friend Israel that it would take Iran a whole year to make a final push for a nuclear weapon, and that everyone would know about it a few weeks into that process; Obama’s top advisor on nuke stuff says “A year is a very long period of time.” Really, he says that! So now Israel probably isn’t going to up and bomb Iran anytime soon. Also, the Israelis and Palestinians are going to talk to each other again, and they’re totally 100 percent gonna work it out this time. Read more on Nobody’s Bombing Anybody, At Least For Now… Read more on Nobody’s Bombing Anybody, At Least For Now…
  then bet it all on black guy

Congress To Maybe Legalize Online Gambling For Your Uncle Ron

Congress likes to spend money. But sometimes they also think, “Wait, do we have any money?” And then they come up with an idea to make themselves a cool $20 or so, and then they get back to spending lots of money. We are witness to one such idea right now. Though they banned it just four years ago, the House Financial Services Committee let a bill go forward yesterday that would legalize online poker and other betting that is not on sports so that it can be taxed. And now, because of this vice, our children will be saved from debt forever. Read more on Congress To Maybe Legalize Online Gambling For Your Uncle Ron…
  salt lake city is for lovers

LATEST NIKKI HALEY SCANDAL: Did You Know She Isn’t Even WHITE??

At this point we’re all well acquainted with Nikki Haley, who’s running for the GOP nomination for governor in South Carolina, and who may have had hot sexx affairs with a political blogger (GROSS) and one of her rival’s consultants (at a “school-choice convention in Salt Lake City,” also GROSS). But now her campaign is being rocked by a much deeper accusation: that far from being a real South Carolinian whose ancestors came over from England in the 1720s to find freedom (or were kidnapped from Africa and forced to work for the ones who came from England), she may in fact be a “raghead,” according to a legitimately elected South Carolinian legislator! Read more on LATEST NIKKI HALEY SCANDAL: Did You Know She Isn’t Even WHITE??…
  what up

2010’s First ‘Michael Steele Morning’ Continues, Now He Says ‘Honest Injun’

Michael Steele and his book teevee tour, boy howdy! Here’s another quote to archive: “But that’s what’s gotten us into trouble, when we walked away from principle. Our platform is one of the best political documents that’s been written in the last 25 years. Honest Injun on that.” LEAVE BOBBY JINDAL ALONE! (Second sentence is actually funnier.) [Media Matters] Read more on 2010’s First ‘Michael Steele Morning’ Continues, Now He Says ‘Honest Injun’…
  turkey time in washington

Thanksgiving Wonkabout Style: Turducken For All

Some 400 years ago the Pilgrims and Indians dined together to celebrate a bountiful harvest, and then the nice Pilgrims gave the Indians smallpox blankets and killed just about all of them. To commemorate this glorious occurrence in our nation’s history, we get the Thanksgiving holiday, and if you’re sticking around and braving a visit from your family, don’t worry, there will be plenty of things to do in the District. Read more on Thanksgiving Wonkabout Style: Turducken For All…
  leftovers

Oh Right, Here Are Our Sexy War Parade Photos

It was not easy getting to this Inaugural Parade late in the day, yesterday, what with the monstrous piles of trash and dead bodies and fences seemingly blocking all pedestrian paths. But we did it for you, the dear reader, and stayed for like a whole five minutes before getting cold and running away forever. Click the clicky for pictures of warfare, orcs, Indians, and more black presidents. Read more on Oh Right, Here Are Our Sexy War Parade Photos…
  haunted houses

Look, It’s John McCain’s Indian Doll Room

This is the Bondage Room in one of John McCain’s nine homes (seriously, NINE), this one in Phoenix. Lucky Architectural Digest did a whole tour of the house and you can view their slide show here. Now it’s quite possible that John McCain has never been inside his Phoenix home, and who can blame him? That’s some scary, macabre shit! JUST LOOK at that thing to the right of the big cigar store Indian’s head. What the fuck! It’s like the deformed offspring of Beetlejuice and dead Heath Ledger’s Joker, wearing a brown lunchbag diaper and carrying a gay umbrella. What the fuck!!! [Architectural Digest] Read more on Look, It’s John McCain’s Indian Doll Room…
  never forget

SINGLE TEAR SHED ON ROADSIDE: “Colorado Tribes Perform Native American Blessing To Mark One Month Until The 2008 Democratic National Convention.” [DNCC]
 

Did The Indians Hex Barack Obama?

Yesterday, Barack Obama visited Montana’s Crow Nation of Native Americans, or as the Republicans call them, “Mexicans.” He spoke to about 4,000 folks, and this happened: “When he took the stage, Obama announced he was proud to have been adopted — in Crow tradition — by the Black Eagle family. And he was also given a Crow name, which translates as ‘That Person Who Goes Throughout Our Land And Tries To Help People…'” Sounds like the name-inventor is some kinda liberal. It was all Hopeful and shit for a while… until they cursed Obama, with their spells. Read more on Did The Indians Hex Barack Obama?…
 

Bill Richardson Beats Powhatan for Indian Endorsement

The Bill Richardson campaign announced today that it has secured the endorsement of the All Indian Pueblo Council, who made their tough decision around a campfire one night with Survivor‘s Jeff Probst overseeing. The Council can’t endorse any of the WASPy candidates, obviously — they’re still grumpy over that whole colonization thing, what with the biological decimation and all. And while they appreciate Obama’s fetching swarthiness, they like Richardson most for his Mexican heritage; they want a president with whom they can converse about the Spanish “Black Legend.” (Oh, also because Richardson promises to make an Indian Affairs cabinet position.) They make a fitting pair: both Bill Richardson and Native Americans have done a lot of service for the white man, only to see the white man not give a shit. [Richardson for President] Read more on Bill Richardson Beats Powhatan for Indian Endorsement…
 

Hillary Promises Nu Jerbz 4 Tommorrow

Mrs. Senator Clinton was out in Silicon Valley on Thursday, making secret deals with Google to erase Obama’s websites, but she also humorously promised new jobs for dumb Americans who can’t spell “tomorrow.” Read more on Hillary Promises Nu Jerbz 4 Tommorrow…
 

Richard Nixon: America’s Greatest Liberal

As we continue honoring the birth of Richard Milhouse Nixon, let’s take a look at his liberal credentials. If you only know “Tricky Dick” for his dictatorial presidency that very nearly ended two centuries of American democracy and first elevated amoral criminals such as Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld to the White House, then you’ll surely be surprised by all the stuff we’ve hidden after the jump. Read more on Richard Nixon: America’s Greatest Liberal…
 

Some of Joe Biden’s Favorite Donut Vendors are Indian

The National Journal’s Hotline has posted a video of Joe Biden at his Bidenest, spreading good cheer to all the delightfully-spotted foreheads in his neighborhood: In thanking a young Indian-American man for the support of his Indian-American group, Sen. Biden touts how Indians are the fastest growing immigrant group in Delaware and says, “You CANNOT go into a 7-11 or a Dunkin Donuts without an Indian accent.” And it’s not on the video, but we imagine that Joe went on to claim, “I also love that one god of yours, the one with all the arms… the elephant one? What’s his name? Baba Ganoush?” And his sure-to-be successful campaign for the presidency marches onward to the strains of a thousand sitars all playing in unison. Read more on Some of Joe Biden’s Favorite Donut Vendors are Indian…
 

The Great American Pastime

Softball Season means the putting aside of political difference to come together in a celebration of drinking and pretending you’re still in college. It doesn’t necessarily mean the putting aside of other predjudices, as this email from an LA to Senator Larry Craig shows. Since the team moniker was “The Tribe,” I just assumed that [AIPAC] meant “American Indian Political Action Committee.” But when The Tribe took the field, there were no war cries, no war paint, and they were wearing baseball jerseys instead of bird bone body armor and buffalo-skinned loincloths. Instead, there were semi-nerdy folks of all shapes, sizes, with little battle preparation. I soon learned that “AIPAC” really stood for “American-Israeli Public Affairs Committee.” Haha, good one! Hope you got out of there with your scalps still attached! Hey guys, who brought the twelve-pack of firewater? Oh, wait, they were Jews? There wasn’t any money on the game, right? ‘Cause good luck collecting from them! Full email, after the jump. Read more on The Great American Pastime…