IT’S JUST LIKE THEY PREDICTED: MATT DRUDGE IS SHOUTING ON HIS WEBSITE, “EXITS SHOW EASY OBAMA WIN IN NC,” SO THAT’S ONE FOR OBAMA SO FAR, HUMANS. [Drudge Report]

LIVEBLOGGING THE BEST EVER PRIMARY: Oh hey, are they still doing those primary elections? Yes, yes they are! In North Carolina and Indiana, we hear. Join us at … let’s see, about 7 p.m. Eastern time? Sure, why not. Our reporters will be “on the ground” in North Carolina at Bob Jones University, and with John Cougar Mellencamp in the heartland of Indiana, and your editor will be in Guam doing “sex tourism.” DON’T FORGET TO BUY EXTRA LIQUOR & GUNS ON THE WAY HOME.

A Barack Obama “Hope office” in Vincennes, Indiana was vandalized around 2:00 a.m. this morning. “One large window was smashed and several other windows spray painted with racial comments,” but no one was hurt. Damn racist teenagers and their Hillary obsession! [iReport]

Today Barack Obama’s political fate rests in the hands of 19-year-old college students who now must choose between bong rips, taking their final exams, finally getting with that senior they drunkenly “friended” on Facebook last October, and voting. You see, The Kids have many competing priorities in the spring and only one of them involves their beloved Barry. MORE »

Here is Barack Obama’s latest attack/response ad about the gas tax and Hillary being a mean old bully. Snooze. Hillary’s just better at this attack shit. You have to invent facts, Barry! [via Ben Smith]

LET US DESCEND: A new Rasmussen poll has Hillary up 56% to 27% in West Virginia, which holds its primary next Tuesday. Aside from all the obvious reasons why the next week will suck, this should be pretty funny: if Hillary’s pretending to be slack-jawed Cletus from The Simpsons to win Indiana’s votes, in what hilarious ways will she pander to West Virginia? [Rasmussen]

No more Hamas waffles for this guy, apparently. Shortly after this unflattering picture was taken, Obama killed the photographer with a left-handed Mauser 66 and continued talking with some nice union representatives about how much money they could get for his abandoned plate of eggs on eBay. [AP/FOX]

Just a few months ago, Barack Obama and Oprah Winfrey were such great friends that rumors flew about their torrid lesbian affair. But now that Barack needs Oprah to reel in the votes of bitter Indiana housewives, Oprah’s suddenly so busy that, according to one media analyst, “it might be easier to rearrange George Bush’s schedule than Oprah Winfrey’s schedule.” Is Oprah really busier than America’s laziest president, or are more sinister forces at play? MORE »

MICKEY KANTOR TOTALLY CALLED INDIANA PEOPLE “SHIT”: So maybe the “white niggers” part of that Mickey Kantor video was altered, but were Indiana’s people the referent of his “shit” usage? Check out this review of The War Room from 1993: “Whether Carville and company are play-acting somewhat for the cameras becomes less important as the film progresses. One can only keep up an act for so long — especially in the throes of a campaign. Carville’s tearful farewell speech to his staff as they close up just before the election, Stephanopoulos’s frank talk with a potential blackmailer and a Mickey Kantor comment about the people of Indiana (when it looks as though Clinton’s ahead in Dan Quayle’s state) attest to this.” Mickey Kantor called Indiana people “shit,” so Hillary Clinton probably agreed or something. [Washington Post]

That instantly infamous video clip — it’s from The War Room, which is a funny documentary about the ‘92 campaign — does NOT feature Clinton bigwig Mickey Canton calling the nice people of Indiana “white niggers,” Kantor tells the Huffington Post. Kantor says he would never use that word, the N-bomb, and that this is a “conspiracy” and “libel” and he is going to make YouTube stop this right away. Kantor does not dispute the other part, where he says, “Look at Indiana — wait, wait, look at Indiana. 42-40. It doesn’t matter if we win, those people are shit.” [Huffington Post]

Here is Barack Obama’s new campaign ad in Indiana, “Pennies,” in which he makes some “correct” economic argument about why we should keep taxing your damn motorcar fuel. It amazes us, every day as we wake up, to see how much of a liberal this schlock is. Just because the oil companies are *rich* doesn’t mean they don’t have *families* to feed. [YouTube]