Tag Archives: indiana

  Going Down With The Shithead

Ted Cruz Confuses Indiana’s Anti-Gay Law With The Alamo, Thinks He’s Davy Crockett

Killed him a Continuing Resolution when he was only three
Ted Cruz had some inspiring thoughts about the long-dead Indiana law that would have allowed open discrimination against LGBT people, wishing that more Republicans would have had the guts to make a stand for it, even if it had driven Indiana’s economy into the toilet. As his religious text, he provided a story from the Book of Texas, complaining that Democrats, Big Business, and The Gays had all mobbed up against the law, but that no Republicans had been willing to sacrifice themselves like the brave pro-slavery fighters at the Alamo. You have to understand: to a proud Albertan like Ted Cruz, everything reminds him of the Alamo. Or maybe the Frog Lake Massacre. Anyway, it all makes sense, at least to Ted Cruz: Read more on Ted Cruz Confuses Indiana’s Anti-Gay Law With The Alamo, Thinks He’s Davy Crockett…
  Aren't you jealous of IBM?

IBM Punches Gov. Bobby Jindal In Scrotum Sac Over Gay-Hating Executive Order

Which one is the face he makes when he gets punched in the dick? ALL OF THEM KATIE.
You are probably so excited about this post, because the mere idea of ANY person, place or thing punching Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal in the nuts — metaphorically, of course — brings unfettered joy into the hearts of all patriotic Americans. Last month, Jindal was reeling from the fact that the Louisiana legislature wasn’t willing to heap embarrassment upon the state, by passing a fake “religious freedom” law, similar to the Fuck The Gays laws that passed, and were subsequently gutted by big business and butthurt Republicans, in Arkansas and Indiana. But because Jindal is probably the stupidest governor in US America (and also thinks he has a shot in hell of winning the GOP presidential nomination LOL), he decided to go ahead and issue an executive order, saying that Louisiana is TOO the Fuck The Gays state, and not just in the fun sexy way that happens in New Orleans. Read more on IBM Punches Gov. Bobby Jindal In Scrotum Sac Over Gay-Hating Executive Order…
  nice time!

Minnesota Cordially Invites You To Come Gay It Up With Your Hot Dish Husband

Sadly, the horse is a homophobe and has collected $176K in a GoFundMe
So here is a nice thing! A Minnesota nice thing. Maybe Gov. Mike Pence is trying to beg all The Gays to come back to Indiana, because all that stuff about legal discrimination was just a big mistake, but Minnesota’s tourism department, Explore Minnesota, has that Pence guy beat all to heck with this ad inviting All The Gays to come do their recreational funtimes all over the Land of 10,000 Lakes (a good thousand of which you’d expect to be gay lakes themselves). Read more on Minnesota Cordially Invites You To Come Gay It Up With Your Hot Dish Husband…
  come for the Hoosier Dick stay for the hospitality

Dear Gays, Please Come Back To Indiana. XOXO, Gov. Mike Pence

NO HOMO
It’s June, which means it is Gay Pride Month, and all the gays (ALL OF THEM) are flocking to this parade and that pride festival and what have you. Well, one of those festivals is happening in Indianapolis, and perhaps seeing that there are tourism moneys attached to those assless chaps and dykes on bikes, Indiana Republican Gov. Mike “49th Dumbest Governor In America” Pence has written a letter to reassure the gays at Indy Pride that they are very much welcome in Indiana, please forget about all that anti-gay nonsense from a few months ago: Read more on Dear Gays, Please Come Back To Indiana. XOXO, Gov. Mike Pence…
  Like On A Trail You Know?

Boy Scouts President Says Gay Scout Leaders Just Fine, Haters Can Take A Hike

It will look just like this.
Hurray, we have a Nice Time, and it is about the Boy Scouts! If you search your noggin, you’ll remember way back in 2013, when the entire Boy Scouts of America (BSA) got homosexual agendaed, because they lifted the ban on gay scouts, but kept the ban in place for adult members of the organization. Despite the fact that we are talking about KIDS, this did not stop religious right goons like Bryan Fischer and Kevin Swanson from making juvenile rage jokes about sodomy badges and also Boy Scouts’ firm young buttocks, because Bryan Fischer and Kevin Swanson probably need professional help. Read more on Boy Scouts President Says Gay Scout Leaders Just Fine, Haters Can Take A Hike…
  the devil made me do it

Gay-Hating Oregon Cake Bakers: Satan Cancelled Our GoFundMe! (No, Not Kidding)

True fact. And she loved cake.
So, these fuckers, you might remember them. Aaron and Melissa Klein had a business in Gresham, Oregon, called “Sweet Cakes By Melissa,” which was a purveyor of sweet cakes, obviously, and is definitely not a veiled reference to Melissa’s piping hot rack. And of course, they have Beliefs. Very, very important Christian beliefs, the kind which are Sincerely Held, and are centered around hating gays. So, same old story, a gay couple wanted a cake for their wedding, gross bigots refused to bake cake, etc. Complaints were filed with Oregon’s Bureau of Labor and Industries (BOLI), and after a couple of years of litigation, they ruled last week that the Kleins were GUILTY AS CHARGED under Oregon’s nondiscrimination laws: Read more on Gay-Hating Oregon Cake Bakers: Satan Cancelled Our GoFundMe! (No, Not Kidding)…
  Might as well just start all over really

Indiana Hires Fancy PR Firm To Help It Rebrand As NOT The God-Hates-Fags State

Really, you guys. Indiana is nice! Stop laughing!
Indiana’s reputation is really piss-poor these days! After becoming the target of nationwide outrage over their passage of a bullshit “religious freedom” bill that, in its original form, basically gave any person or company with Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs the right to kick gays out the door, they got to experience what it’s like to be pariahs. Sorry, Indiana GOP Christian Right weirdos — you have lost the culture war THAT MUCH, that your little futile exercise in giving yourselves special God Hates Fags rights put the state of Indiana very much at risk of losing people, investment, the state’s good name, etc. So now you have to REBRAND! Read more on Indiana Hires Fancy PR Firm To Help It Rebrand As NOT The God-Hates-Fags State…
  Pray the Cruz away

Ted Cruz Will Repeal Supreme Court, Replace It With His Dad

Christ what an asshole
Practically President Already Ted Cruz spent most of last week sadding over the decision by Arkansas and Indiana to amend their gay-hatin’ bills to say “but we don’t really hate The Gay, wink.” At a campaign event in Iowa, Cruz talked about how disappointed he is that those states’ RINO governors decided to give in to The Gay Agenda, and he also worried that the Supreme Court is going to do the same thing later this year (which it is),  insisting again that the Court does not have the authority to do that: Read more on Ted Cruz Will Repeal Supreme Court, Replace It With His Dad…
  No tux is complete without a boutonnierre and a penis

Louisiana Principal Determined To Ruin Prom For Bad-A** Tux-Wearing Lesbian Honors Student

Bad-ass Janelle Monae rocking a tux, GONNA BAN HER FROM PROM TOO?
Priorities! Carroll High School in Monroe, Louisiana, has them! Claudetteia Love is 17, she is a top honors student headed to college on a full scholarship, and she would like to go the prom with her friends. She would also like to wear a tuxedo, because that’s what she’s most comfortable in. All of this is great, except for the fact that she is a damn lesbian, and they just don’t take kindly to that sort of thing in MON-roe (spelled phonetically for non-Southern readers, for future reference): Read more on Louisiana Principal Determined To Ruin Prom For Bad-A** Tux-Wearing Lesbian Honors Student…
  make yourself a nice bloody mary and sit with us

It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Reminisce About The Week That Was!

Hola, Wonkerados! How is your Easter Sunday going? Ours is very nice! Won’t you sit and have some internet brunch with us, so we can reminisce about all the lovely things that happened during the week? It wasn’t all Indiana and gays and religious freedom! (Er, actually a lot of it was, but other things also happened, according to our admittedly hazy memory.) Read more on It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Reminisce About The Week That Was!…
  Scroll down to find out how to cure AIDS with REAL snake oil!

The Snake Oil Bulletin: You Know Who Needs Religious Freedom? Anti-Vaxxers, That’s Who!

Friends, numbskulls, countrymen! Lend me your ears! Welcome to the latest edition of the Snake Oil Bulletin, your weekly dose of pseudoscientific tincture to wash down the week of cold, boring reality. Are you ready for this jelly? I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly. Let’s get started with a return from our old friend, Mike Adams, AKA The Health Ranger! Read more on The Snake Oil Bulletin: You Know Who Needs Religious Freedom? Anti-Vaxxers, That’s Who!…
  What A Friend We Have In Cheeses

Wonkette Fires Gay For Freedom, Make Us GoFundMe Now

Something must be done about all this nondiscriminating!
Yr Wonkette was pretty impressed by the story of Memories Pizza, the brave little Christian-owned pizzeria in Walkerton, Indiana, which announced it would definitely not cater any gay weddings, no way, not ever. It was a pretty brave stance, considering that there are probably fewer gay weddings featuring pizza than there are sightings of the Loch Ness Monster in Death Valley. Read more on Wonkette Fires Gay For Freedom, Make Us GoFundMe Now…
  Can we be done talking about this now?

Arkansas And Indiana Suck Up To Big Gay With ‘Fixed’ Religious Freedom Bills

Just suck it up
Late Thursday, Arkansas Gov. Asa Hutchinson was FIRST! to call a press conference so he could sign the “fixed” Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA) into law, following a weeklong national outcry. Before any journalist could even open a new browser tab to type words about it, there went Indiana Gov. Mike Pence, doing the same damn thing. Did the governors time it that way, so the media wouldn’t know what to cover? Maybe! Or maybe it just happened that way because everybody was ready to go the fuck home for the long holiday weekend. Proponents claimed the original laws did nothing more than protect religious freedom from some unspecified threat, but in reality, the bills were thinly veiled licenses to hate on and discriminate against gays and lesbians, so they had to be amended to ensure that no, this does not give you permission to refuse to do flowers for Dale and Kevin’s wedding, and no, also, please do not take your businesses out of our states! Read more on Arkansas And Indiana Suck Up To Big Gay With ‘Fixed’ Religious Freedom Bills…
  Non Sequiturd

Sen. Tom Cotton Says Gays Should Be Glad They’re Not Hung

We could just drop gays on Iran. Or Tom Cotton.
Arkansas Sen. Tom Cotton (R-Logan Act) has just about had it up to here with people fussing about “religious freedom” bills in Indiana and Arkansas, when we have far more important fish to fry, like undercutting the President on nuclear negotiations with Iran. Or, probably, Benghazi (Never Forget!). Read more on Sen. Tom Cotton Says Gays Should Be Glad They’re Not Hung…
  The Power Of Crust Compels Them

Indiana Pizzeria Will Do Anything For Love, But It Won’t Do That

Rejoice! For the dough is risen!
A Christian-owned pizza shop in Walkerton, Indiana, is reportedly taking a stand against providing pizzas for same-sex weddings, according to a completely straight-faced report from South Bend ABC affiliate WBND.* The owners of Memories Pizza insist they would of course serve any gay couples who came in to eat at the restaurant, but catering a wedding would be right out. It’s refreshing to see people willing to take a principled stand against probably nonexistent threats from Big Gay. Read more on Indiana Pizzeria Will Do Anything For Love, But It Won’t Do That…
  Pence is highly offended by all your rude comments about Indiana

Everyone Is Laughing At That Poor Dumb Idiot, Indiana Gov. Mike Pence

The Indianapolis Star‘s Tuesday edition is a bit stunning, in that the entire front page is devoted to an editorial demanding that Indiana lawmakers “FIX THIS NOW.” They are of course referring to the Fuck The Gays law, signed by Indiana Gov. Mike Pence, which has single-handedly sent the state to number one on pretty much everyone’s list of “states where I do not wish to find myself stranded.” Read more on Everyone Is Laughing At That Poor Dumb Idiot, Indiana Gov. Mike Pence…
  That's not what 'intolerance means' ACTUALLY

Ben Carson: Gay-Hating Bills Are Only Necessary Because Liberals Are So Mean To Jesus

And now this shit
After the last time Dr. Ben Carson sputtered some words about The Gay and how it is a choice because PRISON SEX, and also something about the Constitution he must have read on a bumper sticker at a Tea Party rally, you’d think he might want to not talk about The Gay anymore. In fact, he promised he wasn’t going to talk about The Gay, or at least The Gay Marriage, because of how the mean “liberal press” played that out-of-context video of him saying those words. Read more on Ben Carson: Gay-Hating Bills Are Only Necessary Because Liberals Are So Mean To Jesus…
  Nice Time kinda sorta maybe?

Religious-Freedom-Curious States Maybe Rethinking That Now, Whoops

Helpful hints
  It’s not all bad news on the Religious Freedom front! Yes, Indiana is suffering under the weight of a dumb governor who signed a “religious freedom” bill explicitly designed so that the put-upon wingnuts of the state don’t ever have to look at gay people. And yes, many other states are currently considering similar laws. However, news comes today that there are three places where Republicans (!!!) are standing up and mouthing the words, “I do not want our state to be a national joke like Indiana.” It doesn’t necessarily mean the laws won’t pass — for every smart Republican there are exactly 7,000 stupid ones — but at least there is a glimmer of sanity on the horizon. Read more on Religious-Freedom-Curious States Maybe Rethinking That Now, Whoops…
  Thou Shalt Not Bogart Thy Neighbor's Roach

Indiana Religious Freedom At Work: Weed Dude Forms ‘First Church Of Cannabis,’ Man

Consider the lilies of the field... I mean, have you ever REALLY considered them, man?
Oh, sure, there’s a lot that’s terrible about Indiana’s new awful “religious freedom” law, what with the legalized discriminating and the basic slap in the face to the spirit of the Civil Rights Act. But that doesn’t mean that there are no silver linings, or at least leafy green ones, as an enterprising Indianan, Bill Levin, has filed paperwork (Zig-Zag brand, no doubt) to form the First Church of Cannabis Inc. with the Indiana Secretary of State’s office. Read more on Indiana Religious Freedom At Work: Weed Dude Forms ‘First Church Of Cannabis,’ Man…
  George Stephanopoulos's questions have a well known liberal bias

Indiana Gov. Mike Pence: I Proudly Signed Some Anti-Gay Sh*t I Don’t Understand

I am a deeply stupid man, I am the biggest idiot, I am the worst governor of any of the states, and that is saying something.
Mike Pence Is Not Here To Answer Questions Indiana governor Mike Pence is either a deeply stupid man, or he’s been convinced that the deeply stupid Good Christians of his state are truly facing dire harm from having to provide services to, or acknowledge the existence, of LGBT people. Or he’s just a liar. According to the available evidence, the answer is “all of the above.” Pence spent the weekend standing athwart intelligence and screaming “STOP!”, most notably on the George Stephanopoulos Sunday Teevee Funtimes Mimosa Hour, where he attempted to defend his decision to sign Indiana’s new Fuck The Gays bill, known by its supporters as a totally necessary safeguard protecting their precious religious freedom. Read more on Indiana Gov. Mike Pence: I Proudly Signed Some Anti-Gay Sh*t I Don’t Understand…