Tag: india

Obama Builds His Own Damn Wall! Wonkagenda For Monday, November 21, 2016

Trump's empty cabinet, Obama's final farewell tour, and Texas has still has a pee pee problem. Your Morning News Brief!

Let’s Play The Blame Game! Your Wonkagenda: Thursday, November 10, 2016

Non-white women invade the Senate, educators try to comfort kids, and more reasons to hate Gary Johnson and Jill Stein. Your morning news brief!

Why Can’t Man-Baby Donald Trump Use Nuclear Weapons, WHY WHY WHY??? A Wonksplainer

Trump reportedly asked a foreign policy expert THREE TIMES IN ONE HOUR why he's not allowed to nuke everything. THREE TIMES.

Hillary Clinton’s Tech Plan Will Make All Your Kids Nerds

We told Dom to ding Hillary's plan where necessary. He gave it a blowjob instead. INTERNS!
Goodness ain't what got 'em, honey

Indian Government Says England Stole Queen’s Big-Ass Diamond Fair And Square

In weird news, a high Indian official is backing Elizabeth II and Great Britain in a lawsuit over a big-ass diamond that is a prize part of Britain's crown jewels. The Koh-i-noor, which means "Mountain of Light" in Persian, was...
drill babies

Damn Rockefellers Now A Bunch Of Damn Wind-Power-Loving Dirty Hippies

If you love something set it free, if it comes back it's probably covered in oil The Rockefeller family made much of its considerable bones with Standard Oil, possibly the most iconic Corporate Person in American history. But just like...

Texas Muslin Ain’t Want None A-Them Fake Hindu Gods Muckin’ Up His Dairy Queen

A Dairy Queen owner in Texas has come under public fire for posting really bigoted signs about someone else's religion. OH BOY, it's Texas, must mean another Christian shitting on Muslims, we're so tired of -- wait, the asshat...

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Please Do Not Smear Your C-Section Baby With Vagina Goo. Really.

Welcome back to the finest little chuckwagon medicine show this side of the Rio Grande. It's the Snake Oil Bulletin! This week, we bring you a fine concoction of pregnancy woo, all bundled up snug as a bug in...
Good For Your Business

Whole Foods’ Gamble: Will In-Store Tattoo Parlors Attract Enough Insufferable Millennials?

Another week and another chance to celebrate the accomplishments and examine the needless suffering of our favorite Corporate Persons. Thanks for fighting our stupid wars, millennials. Here's another tattoo parlor Are you interested in a tattoo like some common Rock and...
Now, about my disappearing ecosystem...

Karl Rove Doesn’t Care If Your Grandbabies Die, And Other Paris Climate Change Fun-Times!

Good news, everyone! The Paris Climate Summit actually managed Saturday to reach an agreement to limit and reduce greenhouse gases, with almost every nation on the planet agreeing to reduce its emissions of carbon dioxide and other gases that...
Mean, taking away the governor's fun like that.

Wingnut Nebraska Governor: Fine, Repeal The Death Penalty, I’ll Just Murder Folks Myself!

  Last week, we said "Hurray!" and "Nice time!" because Nebraska repealed the death penalty, and that is a big deal for a conservative state. Republican Gov. Pete Ricketts had vetoed the legislature's repeal bill, LB268, but lawmakers decided to tell him...
This is how I felt after I freed the slaves!

Congressmuffin Aaron Schock: I, Like Abe Lincoln, Am No Longer In Congress

The House Of Representatives is going into recess for two weeks, which means that ethically challenged CongressCheeks Aaron Schock had to do to his "So Long, Farewell" speech a few days early. Schock had previously promised to resign effective...
"Honey, take a picture of me doing selfies with the poors!"

Aaron Schock Snuck Hot Male Personal Photographer On India Trip, How Romantic!

Rude journalists are just out for Illinois Congresscritter Aaron Schock's blood these days, scouring his Instagram for pictures that look like they came from sexy, unreported trips that the taxpayers might have bought for him, due to what seems to be...

Kick-Ass Teenager Wins Nobel Peace Prize. What Have You Done With Your Life?

Ok, people, time to turn the snark off for just a little bit. We have some GOOD news to report. The Nobel Peace Prize winners were announced. We’re guessing that recent events took the Palin family out of consideration,...
Exactly

Starbucks To Be Even More Triple Grande Nasty-atto Now

As if Starbucks hasn't already turned "coffee" -- that beverage you pour into a mug in the morning, maybe add milk, maybe add sugar -- into a joke so bad it hurts our feelings, now there's a new not-coffee...
Can we have some cooperation?

New Florida Congress-Idiot Thinks State Department Officials Are From India

Curt Clawson, the Tea Party doofus who replaced coke-fueled cokehead Trey Radel, is doing his best to preserve Florida's reputation. At a House Foreign Affairs Committee hearing Thursday, he mistook two senior U.S. government officials for Indian diplomats, because...