Tag Archives: income inequality

  Jeb 2016: A diamond bracelet in every pot

Mrs. Jeb Bush Will Buy ALL THE THINGS

Jeb and Columba, a nice sweet couple from humble beginnings
So, uh, Jeb Bush’s wife has a problem. And it’s kind of a serious problem. You see, Columba Bush cannot stop buying ALL THE THINGS: [In 2000], she took out a loan to buy $42,311.70 worth of jewelry on a single day, according to records filed with the state of Florida by Mayors Jewelers. Read more on Mrs. Jeb Bush Will Buy ALL THE THINGS…
  maybe they can find the money in one of Alice Walton's shoes

Walmart Says Ugh, Fine, We Will Give People A Tiny Raise, Whatever

Walmart, the kindest, best place to work in America, has a long history of being A Total Dick about just about everything. The company famous for that stupid bouncing yellow dot, labor violations, and also for its employees’ annual food donation drives, for each other, because they cannot afford to put food on their families on Walmart paychecks, has announced that UGH FINE we will give everybody a little bit more money, if that will make them shut up: Read more on Walmart Says Ugh, Fine, We Will Give People A Tiny Raise, Whatever…
  It's Obama's fault

Paul Ryan So Mad At Obama For Inventing Poverty

lying liar who lies
We know what you are thinking, and it is that you haven’t seen enough of Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)  in the news lately. What has he been up to? Oh, nothing much, just saying lies about President Obama’s new budget proposal in his best sanctimonious voice, but it doesn’t really matter, because he is only the extremely powerful chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee, which is in charge of tax legislation. Read more on Paul Ryan So Mad At Obama For Inventing Poverty…

Stephen Colbert Just Loves Him Some Comic-Con Nerds, Also Rich People (Video)

We’re going to throw a double dose of Stephen Colbert at you this morning, mostly because we’re just so darned indecisive. So hey, let’s go with TWO clips! First up, a potpourri from last weekend’s San Diego Comic-Con, that combination of fandom and media whoring that Colbert sums up as “an orgy… of people who will never be invited to the orgy.” And of course there’s shameless self-and-other promotion: Colbert hosted a panel for the next Peter Jackson movie, The Hobbit: Maybe We Could Have Stretched It Out To Four Movies, and is delighted to hear that Daniel Radcliffe is a fan of Stephen’s ice cream flavor. Excellent Marketingtainment! Read more on Stephen Colbert Just Loves Him Some Comic-Con Nerds, Also Rich People (Video)…
  happy as a clam

Michael Bay Makes Boom-Boom, We Kick Caffeine, And Someone Got Mad About A Thing

We don’t know, maybe Sara actually IS going to kick coffee. She sure says she did it, so we will leave it to you to decide whether that is real or a Big Troll. We clutched our Old Handsome Joe Biden mug closer when we read it. There was also some kind of ultimate Sportsball thing this weekend, as well as a penultimate one, and Dan Weber told you all about how the Germans did it. (Don’t tell Basil Fawlty, but Dan even mentions the war.) Kaili was Mad About A Thing, which is her thing that she does, and this time it was the GOP’s effort to win the War For Women’s Votes, which they’re managing about as well as Brazil the other day (boom!). It’s Bastille Day, so make yourself some vichyssoise for the Republic; just be sure you finish it before the Terror. Michael Bay made another loud movie about robots, but it’s secretly a love song to jock bully jerks. Kaleb Horton’s review is mandatory reading! John Oliver managed to make income inequality pretty hilarious, except for the parts where you’re wondering if tumbrels are still available (Happy Bastille Day, again).

John Oliver Laughs At Your American Dream (Video)

Here’s what we love about John Oliver and the writing staff at Last Week Tonight: they have a real knack for taking issues that seem dry and unfunny, and then exploring them creatively and in depth, all the while bringing the ha-has, too. And so this week he tackles income inequality, or as Fox News calls it, Class Warfare. There’s a simple test to see where you fall on the income inequality spectrum, he says: Are you paying for HBO or stealing it? What’s especially galling in America is the extent to which people who are never going to be in the top tax brackets are so willing to support policies that are designed to help the rich get even richer; Oliver notes that our willingness to act against common sense is rooted in one of our best national traits, our optimism, which makes us susceptible to a huckster like Marco Rubio saying that there are no “haves and have-nots” in America, only “haves and soon-to-haves, people who have made it and people who will make it.” And so we simultaneously think that our system is unfair and we can’t wait until we get to be rich exploiters too: “I can clearly see this game is rigged. Which is what’s gonna make it so sweet when I win this thing, whooo!!” Read more on John Oliver Laughs At Your American Dream (Video)…
  i can't see anyone else smiling in here

Millionaires Just Like Us, Only Have $Millions, Says New Poll Of Millionaires

The LA Times brings us some happy news today, kinda-sorta! Turns out that a recent poll of millionaires finds that the majority of them think income inequality is bad, and that nearly 2/3 of them support an increase in the minimum wage and tax increases on the rich — like them! We are also going to bet that auto-correct was somehow involved in this second sentence of the story: However, the views of the wealthy on these hot-bottom topics vary significantly by political affiliation, suggesting millionaires are as split as the rest of the country between Democratic and Republican beliefs, according to the poll by financial news channel CNBC. Now that we have distracted you with all that hot-bottom stuff, let’s see what else the merely rich think, which we must caution may be very different from the super-rich. (A million dollars is like what you’d find under the Koch brothers’ sofa cushions, after all.) Read more on Millionaires Just Like Us, Only Have $Millions, Says New Poll Of Millionaires…
  and the lord said 'get a job ya bum'

Tea Party Jesus Likes Income Inequality Just Fine, Says Wingnut

Well here is a big change! Tea Party Unity head man Rick Scarborough is talking about something other than buttsex! This is unusual, because he really likes to talk about buttsex. But instead, he — or rather, his guest on a Tea Party Unity webcast, former California state Assemblyman Howard Kaloogian, talked about Jesus and how the Prince of Peace is opposed to reducing income inequality, because it says so right in the Bible. Kaloogian explained this a bit further: I think it’s clear that God has a position on many of the things we deem political today, from life to theft to the doctrine of covetousness, which by the way seems to be the promotion of the left. You know, they talk about “income inequality,” well what is that but covetousness? So how could somebody support that cause if they’re biblical believing Christians? It’s so true! The poors might start coveting $10 an hour, and then where would we be? It’s just like that time when Jesus told the multitude, “Damn you, stop coveting my loaves and fishes! Get out! MINE!” Heaven knows that there’s nothing covetous about simply wanting to pile up more and more wealth for yourself — we just dare you to find Jesus saying a single word about that. Read more on Tea Party Jesus Likes Income Inequality Just Fine, Says Wingnut…
  first they came for the nazi analogies

Home Depot Billionaire Decides Maybe Not Everything Is Hitler, Maybe Apologizes

Ken Langone, the billionaire sort-of-founder-but-really-just-founding-investor* of Home Depot, offered a “sorry if you were offended” apology Tuesday after suggesting that attempts to call attention to the income gap were exactly like what Hitler said about Jews. In yet another piece on how the rich aren’t going to sit back and let themselves be genocided, Langone had told Politico that he thought all this populist rhetoric aimed at raising the minimum wage was dangerous and scary: “I hope it’s not working … Because if you go back to 1933, with different words, this is what Hitler was saying in Germany. You don’t survive as a society if you encourage and thrive on envy or jealousy.” We suppose maybe the actual “different words” might matter, because there really is a difference between “exterminate the Jews” and “tax the rich,” even though both are imperatives comprising a verb, a definite article, and a noun. Read more on Home Depot Billionaire Decides Maybe Not Everything Is Hitler, Maybe Apologizes…
  californias here we come

Why Not Six Californias, For Freedom, Laughs?

According to a report by a state legislative analyst, it would be feasible to split California into six smaller states, although the process would be complicated. The news was reportedly received with great excitement by supporters of a proposed “Six Californias” amendment – and there is at least one supporter, a “multimillionaire Silicon Valley venture capitalist” named Tim Draper, who said in an email after the report’s release, “It is obvious that we need a breath of fresh air in California government, and creating six new states allows the refresh we need … California, as it is, is ungovernable. We need our state governments to be local to us.” It’s so inspiring to know that one wealthy douchebag with a pet project that seems doomed to irrelevance can nonetheless move his idea far enough to get the state to spend money on researching it. Seems like an excellent use of state funds in pursuit of a small-government agenda. Read more on Why Not Six Californias, For Freedom, Laughs?…
  never again

Michelle Malkin To One-Percenters: It Gets Better

Well thank god, someone has finally come to the defense of all the rich. Michelle Malkin has bravely come forward to call for an end to the “bullying epidemic” that plagues our nation: No, not the school bullying issues that get constant attention from Hollywood, the White House and the media. No, not the “fat-shaming” and “body-shaming” outbreaks on Facebook. The problem is wealth-shaming. Class-shaming. Success-shaming. The State of the Job Creator is under siege. You see, Malkin understands that when tech gazillionaire Tom Perkins wrote that letter to the Wall Street Journal warning that the rich are facing their very own Kristallnacht, he wasn’t being an obnoxious douche. He was presenting a “critical message in defense of our nation’s achievers” that she prays “will transcend, inspire, embolden and prevail.” Unless, of course, the Takers have their way and Holocaust the rich to death, putting them on the incremental tax increase trains and shoving them into the gas chambers of Keynesianism. Read more on Michelle Malkin To One-Percenters: It Gets Better…
  scumbag millionaire

Teevee Douche Delighted That 85 People Have Wealth Equal To Half Of Humanity, Who Now Have Something To Aim For

You know, maybe we’ve been thinking about this income inequality thing the wrong way. Maybe, we should consider the wisdom of the happy capitalism lover who left a dozen deleted comments the other day, and we should see that income inequality has nothing to do with the game being rigged, and everything to do with individual initiative. Then perhaps we could rejoice with Canadian TV douchebag Kevin O’Leary at the recent Oxfam International report showing that the richest 85 individuals on the planet control wealth equal to that held by the poorest 3.5 billion — roughly half the population of the planet. O’Leary, whose net worth is estimated to be a piddling $300 million, was almost ecstatic at the statistic: “It’s fantastic and this is a great thing because it inspires everybody, gets them motivation to look up to the one percent and say, ‘I want to become one of those people, I’m going to fight hard to get up to the top,’” he said. “This is fantastic news and of course I applaud it. What can be wrong with this?” In a just world — or at least in one written by Rod Serling — Mr. O’Leary would have immediately tripped over a studio cable, hit his head, and awakened as a one-legged child beggar in a Mumbai slum so he could test out his theory. Read more on Teevee Douche Delighted That 85 People Have Wealth Equal To Half Of Humanity, Who Now Have Something To Aim For…
  if you're so smart why ain't you rich?

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Gun-Humpers, More Gun-Humpers, And David Brooks

Welp, time for another of our periodic muckings-out of the old comments queue. Friday’s piece on David Brooks and his explanation of why “income inequality” ain’t no thing was not well-received by “DavDar,” whose pseudonym suggests they have an uncanny ability to spot any Daves in the room at a glance. DavDar is one of those free-market cheerleaders who occasionally wander into Wonkette, write a dozen comments taking issue with every other comment on a story, and then flounce out with a grumble about how Wonkette Hates Free Speech — and indeed, the last thing we heard from DavDar was, Another cowardly leftist site that won’t post opposing arguments. Quelle surprise! Ah, but here is vôtre comment, right ici! It is quite la surprise, non? Needless to say, DavDar does not think this “income inequality” is anything to worry about either, since poor people mostly bring it on themselves by not planning well: This “hard work” meme is taken out of context deliberately by those on the Left. Obviously you can’t just dig ditches all day and expect them to be filled with money when you get up the next day. Hard work has to be accompanied by working smarter, setting realistic goals, making plans, having patience and avoiding stupid mistakes. Silly poors — if they want to get ahead in life, they should be stockbrokers. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: Gun-Humpers, More Gun-Humpers, And David Brooks…
  today in hippies

Uh Oh, Joe Scarborough Is A Communist Now

What even the fuck, “Joe” Scarborough? We thought we could count on you to be our sexy douchey conservadaddy (shut up wonkers), and it turns out you are just another emoprog #Occupy communist pansy whining about income inequality and Warren Buffett’s secretary’s tax rate. First you came to take all our guns and put them in gun jail, then you called Sean Hannity a racist vulture douche (direct quote, we think), and now THIS? Then you look at what doesn’t make sense to I guess 95% of Americans? That the richest Americans, the richest Americans are paying 14, 15, 16% tax rates. While the secretaries are paying twice that much. Why we don’t have a minimum tax rate of 30% is beyond me. And I say that especially because of all the billionaires and gazillionaires. If you’re not getting a paycheck across your desk, chances are good you’re figuring how to pay 16%, 17%. That is obscene. It’s wrong and Americans, 95% of Americans think that’s wrong. And then the same thing with the off shore accounts. You know? My feeling if people want to move their people offshore, they need to move offshore with their money. Seriously. If they want to shield their money from taxes and go offshore, you’re not welcome in the United States of America. Follow your damn money. Just stop right there, you un-American pussy. No, really, stop, or that nice toddler Ben Shapiro will never be able to catch up with you on his little rubber baby legs, and put you UNDER ARREST. Read more on Uh Oh, Joe Scarborough Is A Communist Now…
  A Sphincter Says What?

Millionaire NYT Columnist David Brooks: Poor People Won’t Be Poor If They Just Act Like Rich People

Good news, Poors! David Brooks has decided to take on the topic of income inequality, and has concluded that 1) income inequality is not actually a problem, and 2) if it were, we shouldn’t solve it by giving poor people more money, and also 3) the growing income of the 1% has nothing to do with the shrinking incomes of the rest of us. Hear that? NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. Here, let the man with the 4 million dollar home explain to us why giving money to poor people will be of absolutely no help to them. Read more on Millionaire NYT Columnist David Brooks: Poor People Won’t Be Poor If They Just Act Like Rich People…
  brick wall with glasses

Silly Robert Reich Says Words About Minimum Wage To Helen Keller We Mean S.E. Cupp

So here is a clip of Robert Reich articulately laying out the case for why the minimum wage needs to be raised, and CNN’s S.E. Cupp not hearing anything but “victimizing job creators for class war.” It’s worth watching, if only for information you can use in your own conversations with wingnuts, and as an object lesson in why those conversations will go nowhere. On CNN’s Crossfire, Cupp starts the conversation where she’ll eventually end it: “You would suggest that we force employers to raise wages, force union participation, raise taxes on the top job creators, and force employers to cut off hiring at 50 employees to avoid Obamacare mandates,” Cupp told Reich. “How is that a job recipe for job creation?” And then Reich explains how jobs get created when people have enough money to buy stuff from companies that make stuff, and need people to make it, a fairly simple point that Henry Ford understood when he paid his assembly-line workers enough to buy the Model T’s they were building. Obviously, this economic analysis was too complex for Cupp, who is fixated on the word “forced.” Read more on Silly Robert Reich Says Words About Minimum Wage To Helen Keller We Mean S.E. Cupp…
  our moocher class

John Stossel Explains That War On Poverty Failed Because Ladies Want Too Much Free Stuff

Impacted bowel John Stossel dropped by the set of Fox & Friends yesterday to drop a little truth on hosts Elizabeth Hasselbeck, Steve Doocy, and whatshisname, the guy who is always squinting in puzzlement like he’s losing a battle of wits with a doorknob. Stossel was there to talk about the 50th anniversary of the War on Poverty and how it has backfired by making all the ladies want to stay single because having a man in the house means smaller welfare handouts from the government. This is good news for those of you who are tired of going to family gatherings and answering the question, “When are you going to get married?” Now you can respond with Never Grandma, because getting married means I’ll have to stop suckling at the government teat and I want to keep my sweet, sweet welfare checks that are paid for by taking money away from society’s makers like John Stossel. Read more on John Stossel Explains That War On Poverty Failed Because Ladies Want Too Much Free Stuff… Read more on John Stossel Explains That War On Poverty Failed Because Ladies Want Too Much Free Stuff…

Jon Stewart Literally Eviscerates Fox News, Stephen Colbert Feeds Chris Christie To Rabid Polecats

The Daily Show Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook You want Clipbait? We got Clipbait! On The Daily Show, it’s Jon Stewart vs. a million and six Fox News clips, and on The Colbert Report, Stephen has a field day with Chris Christie’s press conference. Read more on Jon Stewart Literally Eviscerates Fox News, Stephen Colbert Feeds Chris Christie To Rabid Polecats…
  Words! They mean things

Peggy Noonan Searches For Words, Mostly In Her Liquor Cabinet Apparently

In the dark of a cold winter night in Manhattan, in her pricey three-bedroom condo high above the Christmas-light-festooned streets of the Upper East Side bustling with harried and wealthy stockbrokers and their families hurrying home laden down with full shopping bags from Bergdorf and Saks, Muzak versions of “Little Drummer Boy” pouring forth from the lighted doorways of every shop and tea house, Margaret Ellen Noonan, beloved Sister of the Order of Saint Francis of Spirits and Libations, was deep into the last bottle of cooking sherry. It was a fine sherry, too good to be wasted on poaching a piece of fish, and besides, Peggy needed to settle down. She had been nervous lately, her sleep lashed by horrific dreams of mushroom clouds rising above the Eiffel Tower because the Negro in the White House had put Inspector Clouseau in charge of the nuclear launch codes. A snatch of poetry in her head: Behold! The Night Mare! Yeats? It sounded like Yeats. A good Irish boy who knew the value of words, and also a tax code beneficial to the wealthy, probably. Words. She kept circling back to that thought. She had heard so many the preceding year! People are always speaking words, which is how one knows that words are important. “Can you do This Week on Sunday?” “Our special this evening is a filleted sole with butternut squash.” “Mrs. Noonan, don’t you think you’ve had enough?” So many words, with so many meanings. She would write about them for her column. She would write words about words! Read more on Peggy Noonan Searches For Words, Mostly In Her Liquor Cabinet Apparently…
  liberté egalité and the other thing

Nice Time: New Pope Doesn’t Understand Simple Economic Concept Of ‘I’ve Got Mine’

Would you believe we have another New Pope Says Awesome True Thing story? Yeah, we know, it’s getting sort of routine. But listen: Pope Francis is condemning excessive wealth and income inequality again, and calling on nations to reduce the gap between rich and poor. New Pope (that’s his name, no matter how long he’s Pope) released his message for the Jan. 1 World Day of Peace today, calling for an increased emphasis on “fraternity,” the sense of connection between people. Srsly, we’ve heard so much crap about the Parable of the Talents as a justification for getting rich that it’s nice to see a religious leader getting back to biblical questions like “where is your brother?” instead of “what was your return on investment?” Read more on Nice Time: New Pope Doesn’t Understand Simple Economic Concept Of ‘I’ve Got Mine’…
  peggy noonan is spinning in her grave

Income Inequality Called A ‘Problem’ In Wall Street Journal, Temperature In Hell Dropping Rapidly

Hidebound banking pamphlet The Wall Street Journal‘s entire reason for existing is to endorse the view that there is no such thing as a problem caused by rich people. So it was jarring to read this on their blog: The trouble is the nation’s affluent, who have isolated themselves over the past 40 years more than the poor, hold the lion’s share of its resources: As of 2010, America’s top 10% of families controlled nearly 50% of all income, the researchers note. Occupy Wall Street Journal! Read more on Income Inequality Called A ‘Problem’ In Wall Street Journal, Temperature In Hell Dropping Rapidly…