Tag Archives: income inequality

  For an America that doesn't suck

Bernie Sanders Will Officially Socialize You, America, From The White House

Rejoice, Liberal-Americansians, for Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders (Socialist and proud of it!) officially declared on Tuesday that he is running to be president of U.S. America. Awwwwww yeah! And lest you think Sanders is just some silly vanity candidate — like, for example, every single Republican in the race or pretending to maybe be planning to get into the race to boost ratings or sell books — nope, he is dead serious about this, and he’s already raised millions of dollars since announcing in April that he is seeking the Democratic nomination. Read more on Bernie Sanders Will Officially Socialize You, America, From The White House…
  another reason he'll never be president

Paul Ryan Knows Real Problem With Welfare Is How Rich Those Poor People Get Off It

Paul Ryan, high as fuck
Republican Rep. Paul Ryan is the wonky boy genius of the House of Representatives, according to his colleagues and the voice in his head, because he wrote a “budget” one time to privatize Medicare, slash welfare benefits, and tell the poors to feed themselves with their own damned bootstraps, like Jesus said. Read more on Paul Ryan Knows Real Problem With Welfare Is How Rich Those Poor People Get Off It…
  Here have some news n stuff

John Boehner Wants To Know Why Hillary Clinton Isn’t Helping Congress Get Stuff Done

Speaker of the House John Boehner appeared on “Meet the Press” Sunday and said a whole bunch of dumb stuff. On the death of Freddie Gray and the charges brought against six Baltimore police officers: “Public servants should not violate the law.” That’s deep. Maybe Congress ought to make a law about that. Also, the solution to impoverished cities like Baltimore? Lower taxes. Of course! As for the any-day-now national marriage equality? Yeah, he still “believes in traditional marriage,” but it’s not like he’s a bigoted asshole, blah blah blah, same ol’ thang, not gonna matter soon anyway. Shockingly, he still thinks Obamacare is THE WORST, and he says a whole bunch of dumb words about that. Then there’s the trade deal President Obama is trying to make happen, even though Democrats are really not into it. You know whose fault it is that Congress hasn’t acted on that yet? Not the dude in charge of the House; don’t be ridiculous. Nah, man, it’s Hillary Clinton’s fault: Read more on John Boehner Wants To Know Why Hillary Clinton Isn’t Helping Congress Get Stuff Done…
  Keep Fucking That Lucky ducky

Bill O’Reilly Knows Who Has It Rough In This Country, And It Is The Rich

Why are you doing class warfare on Bill O'Reilly?
Oh look, Bill O’Reilly is protecting the rich again! You will be very surprised to learn that in a Monday segment that was ostensibly about “income inequality in America,” O’Reilly explained that the real inequality in America is all about how tough the rich have it, while those who aren’t millionaires are just living it up all the time, having a big party at the expense of oppressed rich people. It’s really an impressive bit of bullshitting, and you can bet that a lot of Fox viewers will take a moment out of their second or third jobs to sympathize with the plight of those making 300 times as much as they do. Read more on Bill O’Reilly Knows Who Has It Rough In This Country, And It Is The Rich…
  The Poor Little Rich Governor

Poor Chris Christie Is Not A Rich Man. He’s Barely A Five-Millionaire!

And I'll take 115 of those beers
So here’s a nice little thinky piece on income disparities and how the merely wealthy see themselves as not especially rich, particularly not when compared to their obscenely wealthy friends. It takes as its focus New Jersey Gov. Christie, whose family income came to a mere $698,838 in 2013 ($160,054 from his job as governor, and $475,854 from his wife’s income at an investment bank), according to his taxes. And yet, even though that’s definitely enough to put him into the top 1 percent of earners, Chris Christie doesn’t feel rich, as he explained in New Hampshire Friday. Read more on Poor Chris Christie Is Not A Rich Man. He’s Barely A Five-Millionaire!…
  Here have some news n stuff

Senate Can’t Find Time To Get Anything Done, Goes On Spring Break For Two Weeks

Homer Simpson for Senate Majority Leader?
Being a member of Congress really is the sweetest gig. You can suck at your job, get nothing done at all, collect a six-figure salary plus great benefits, and then take a vacation, because hey, you just worked so hard at not getting anything done, you’ve earned that break. Again: Read more on Senate Can’t Find Time To Get Anything Done, Goes On Spring Break For Two Weeks…
  twits gotta twit

George Will: Income Inequality Is Good So Poors Should Shut Up

Suck it, people concerned that widening income inequality could lead to economic disruptions and social upheaval!
A cry rang throughout the home of bowtied wax statue George Will, and that cry was “Mother! Father got into the cooking sherry again! He’s locked in his study gibbering like a baboon! Bring me a butterfly net and some spring training box scores!” Read more on George Will: Income Inequality Is Good So Poors Should Shut Up…
  Here have some news n stuff

Is It Time For Class War? (Hint: Yes)

But watch out for the gout
Still on the fence about whether it’s time for all-out up-against-the-wall eat-the-rich class war revolution? No you’re not: In 2014, Wall Street’s bonus pool was roughly double the combined earnings of all Americans working full-time jobs at minimum wage. […] Read more on Is It Time For Class War? (Hint: Yes)…
  Jeb 2016: A diamond bracelet in every pot

Mrs. Jeb Bush Will Buy ALL THE THINGS

Jeb and Columba, a nice sweet couple from humble beginnings
So, uh, Jeb Bush’s wife has a problem. And it’s kind of a serious problem. You see, Columba Bush cannot stop buying ALL THE THINGS: [In 2000], she took out a loan to buy $42,311.70 worth of jewelry on a single day, according to records filed with the state of Florida by Mayors Jewelers. Read more on Mrs. Jeb Bush Will Buy ALL THE THINGS…
  maybe they can find the money in one of Alice Walton's shoes

Walmart Says Ugh, Fine, We Will Give People A Tiny Raise, Whatever

Walmart, the kindest, best place to work in America, has a long history of being A Total Dick about just about everything. The company famous for that stupid bouncing yellow dot, labor violations, and also for its employees’ annual food donation drives, for each other, because they cannot afford to put food on their families on Walmart paychecks, has announced that UGH FINE we will give everybody a little bit more money, if that will make them shut up: Read more on Walmart Says Ugh, Fine, We Will Give People A Tiny Raise, Whatever…
  It's Obama's fault

Paul Ryan So Mad At Obama For Inventing Poverty

lying liar who lies
We know what you are thinking, and it is that you haven’t seen enough of Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)  in the news lately. What has he been up to? Oh, nothing much, just saying lies about President Obama’s new budget proposal in his best sanctimonious voice, but it doesn’t really matter, because he is only the extremely powerful chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee, which is in charge of tax legislation. Read more on Paul Ryan So Mad At Obama For Inventing Poverty…
  clipbait

Stephen Colbert Just Loves Him Some Comic-Con Nerds, Also Rich People (Video)

Thwipp!
We’re going to throw a double dose of Stephen Colbert at you this morning, mostly because we’re just so darned indecisive. So hey, let’s go with TWO clips! First up, a potpourri from last weekend’s San Diego Comic-Con, that combination of fandom and media whoring that Colbert sums up as “an orgy… of people who will never be invited to the orgy.” And of course there’s shameless self-and-other promotion: Colbert hosted a panel for the next Peter Jackson movie, The Hobbit: Maybe We Could Have Stretched It Out To Four Movies, and is delighted to hear that Daniel Radcliffe is a fan of Stephen’s ice cream flavor. Excellent Marketingtainment! Read more on Stephen Colbert Just Loves Him Some Comic-Con Nerds, Also Rich People (Video)…
  clipbait

John Oliver Laughs At Your American Dream (Video)

Here’s what we love about John Oliver and the writing staff at Last Week Tonight: they have a real knack for taking issues that seem dry and unfunny, and then exploring them creatively and in depth, all the while bringing the ha-has, too. And so this week he tackles income inequality, or as Fox News calls it, Class Warfare. There’s a simple test to see where you fall on the income inequality spectrum, he says: Are you paying for HBO or stealing it? What’s especially galling in America is the extent to which people who are never going to be in the top tax brackets are so willing to support policies that are designed to help the rich get even richer; Oliver notes that our willingness to act against common sense is rooted in one of our best national traits, our optimism, which makes us susceptible to a huckster like Marco Rubio saying that there are no “haves and have-nots” in America, only “haves and soon-to-haves, people who have made it and people who will make it.” And so we simultaneously think that our system is unfair and we can’t wait until we get to be rich exploiters too: “I can clearly see this game is rigged. Which is what’s gonna make it so sweet when I win this thing, whooo!!” Read more on John Oliver Laughs At Your American Dream (Video)…
  i can't see anyone else smiling in here

Millionaires Just Like Us, Only Have $Millions, Says New Poll Of Millionaires

The LA Times brings us some happy news today, kinda-sorta! Turns out that a recent poll of millionaires finds that the majority of them think income inequality is bad, and that nearly 2/3 of them support an increase in the minimum wage and tax increases on the rich — like them! We are also going to bet that auto-correct was somehow involved in this second sentence of the story: However, the views of the wealthy on these hot-bottom topics vary significantly by political affiliation, suggesting millionaires are as split as the rest of the country between Democratic and Republican beliefs, according to the poll by financial news channel CNBC. Now that we have distracted you with all that hot-bottom stuff, let’s see what else the merely rich think, which we must caution may be very different from the super-rich. (A million dollars is like what you’d find under the Koch brothers’ sofa cushions, after all.) Read more on Millionaires Just Like Us, Only Have $Millions, Says New Poll Of Millionaires…
  and the lord said 'get a job ya bum'

Tea Party Jesus Likes Income Inequality Just Fine, Says Wingnut

Well here is a big change! Tea Party Unity head man Rick Scarborough is talking about something other than buttsex! This is unusual, because he really likes to talk about buttsex. But instead, he — or rather, his guest on a Tea Party Unity webcast, former California state Assemblyman Howard Kaloogian, talked about Jesus and how the Prince of Peace is opposed to reducing income inequality, because it says so right in the Bible. Kaloogian explained this a bit further: I think it’s clear that God has a position on many of the things we deem political today, from life to theft to the doctrine of covetousness, which by the way seems to be the promotion of the left. You know, they talk about “income inequality,” well what is that but covetousness? So how could somebody support that cause if they’re biblical believing Christians? It’s so true! The poors might start coveting $10 an hour, and then where would we be? It’s just like that time when Jesus told the multitude, “Damn you, stop coveting my loaves and fishes! Get out! MINE!” Heaven knows that there’s nothing covetous about simply wanting to pile up more and more wealth for yourself — we just dare you to find Jesus saying a single word about that. Read more on Tea Party Jesus Likes Income Inequality Just Fine, Says Wingnut…
  first they came for the nazi analogies

Home Depot Billionaire Decides Maybe Not Everything Is Hitler, Maybe Apologizes

Ken Langone, the billionaire sort-of-founder-but-really-just-founding-investor* of Home Depot, offered a “sorry if you were offended” apology Tuesday after suggesting that attempts to call attention to the income gap were exactly like what Hitler said about Jews. In yet another piece on how the rich aren’t going to sit back and let themselves be genocided, Langone had told Politico that he thought all this populist rhetoric aimed at raising the minimum wage was dangerous and scary: “I hope it’s not working … Because if you go back to 1933, with different words, this is what Hitler was saying in Germany. You don’t survive as a society if you encourage and thrive on envy or jealousy.” We suppose maybe the actual “different words” might matter, because there really is a difference between “exterminate the Jews” and “tax the rich,” even though both are imperatives comprising a verb, a definite article, and a noun. Read more on Home Depot Billionaire Decides Maybe Not Everything Is Hitler, Maybe Apologizes…
  californias here we come

Why Not Six Californias, For Freedom, Laughs?

According to a report by a state legislative analyst, it would be feasible to split California into six smaller states, although the process would be complicated. The news was reportedly received with great excitement by supporters of a proposed “Six Californias” amendment — and there is at least one supporter, a “multimillionaire Silicon Valley venture capitalist” named Tim Draper, who said in an email after the report’s release, “It is obvious that we need a breath of fresh air in California government, and creating six new states allows the refresh we need … California, as it is, is ungovernable. We need our state governments to be local to us.” It’s so inspiring to know that one wealthy douchebag with a pet project that seems doomed to irrelevance can nonetheless move his idea far enough to get the state to spend money on researching it. Seems like an excellent use of state funds in pursuit of a small-government agenda. Read more on Why Not Six Californias, For Freedom, Laughs?…
  never again

Michelle Malkin To One-Percenters: It Gets Better

Well thank god, someone has finally come to the defense of all the rich. Michelle Malkin has bravely come forward to call for an end to the “bullying epidemic” that plagues our nation: No, not the school bullying issues that get constant attention from Hollywood, the White House and the media. No, not the “fat-shaming” and “body-shaming” outbreaks on Facebook. The problem is wealth-shaming. Class-shaming. Success-shaming. The State of the Job Creator is under siege. You see, Malkin understands that when tech gazillionaire Tom Perkins wrote that letter to the Wall Street Journal warning that the rich are facing their very own Kristallnacht, he wasn’t being an obnoxious douche. He was presenting a “critical message in defense of our nation’s achievers” that she prays “will transcend, inspire, embolden and prevail.” Unless, of course, the Takers have their way and Holocaust the rich to death, putting them on the incremental tax increase trains and shoving them into the gas chambers of Keynesianism. Read more on Michelle Malkin To One-Percenters: It Gets Better…
  scumbag millionaire

Teevee Douche Delighted That 85 People Have Wealth Equal To Half Of Humanity, Who Now Have Something To Aim For

You know, maybe we’ve been thinking about this income inequality thing the wrong way. Maybe, we should consider the wisdom of the happy capitalism lover who left a dozen deleted comments the other day, and we should see that income inequality has nothing to do with the game being rigged, and everything to do with individual initiative. Then perhaps we could rejoice with Canadian TV douchebag Kevin O’Leary at the recent Oxfam International report showing that the richest 85 individuals on the planet control wealth equal to that held by the poorest 3.5 billion — roughly half the population of the planet. O’Leary, whose net worth is estimated to be a piddling $300 million, was almost ecstatic at the statistic: “It’s fantastic and this is a great thing because it inspires everybody, gets them motivation to look up to the one percent and say, ‘I want to become one of those people, I’m going to fight hard to get up to the top,’” he said. “This is fantastic news and of course I applaud it. What can be wrong with this?” In a just world — or at least in one written by Rod Serling — Mr. O’Leary would have immediately tripped over a studio cable, hit his head, and awakened as a one-legged child beggar in a Mumbai slum so he could test out his theory. Read more on Teevee Douche Delighted That 85 People Have Wealth Equal To Half Of Humanity, Who Now Have Something To Aim For…