NO-SHOWS: After we saw the Wax Demon of Barack Obama at the ghetto Safeway, we figured he’d show up anywhere! Alas, Madame Tussauds’ homunculus of our new president kindly RSVP’s that he’s already booked tonight and won’t be at Wonkette’s Inaugural Ball. So if you want a picture with the Wax Demon Obama, you must [...]
By the Comics CurmudgeonBeing a political cartoonist has got to be kind of rough. They’re all getting fired as newspapers downsize, and those that still manage to have a job drawing cartoons, for money, inevitably make political points that alienate at least half of their readers. So you’d think that they might find it enraging [...]
Super weird thing happening on Monday night: sexy simultaneous dinner parties for Joe Biden, Colin Powell and WALNUTS! himself, Sen. John Sidney McCain MCMLXLVIII! Huh? Barack Obama will stop at each one for a few seconds, offer his love for these demons, and escape just before the cutting of the cake. His appearance at the [...]
So it looks like Obama is serious about this, and intends to become the president next week. Here’s the official Presidential Portrait of your favorite new Commander in Chief, wearing one of those phoney-baloney American Flag pins. This picture was reportedly taken by Pete Souza yesterday. Presumptuous. Click for the giant version, and then masturbate [...]
In the history of Weeks, never has there been so much fun to be had on Sundays, Mondays and Tuesdays. Now, in honor of President Barry, all the parties on Earth have come to DC, making for a very special a To-Do: Wonkette’s Official Inaugural Mid-Week Programme.
ALL AMERICANS MUST ATTEND INAUGURATION! “Don’t have money? Don’t worry, God will provide money! Don’t have a place to stay? God will provide that, too. If God didn’t want you to come to Washington D.C. and party on January 20, would God have made Barack Obama your president?” [AOL Political Machine]
It’s the wedding spectacular of the year! And here’s the real true invitation, courtesy of our own fancy monocle-wearing top-hat-sporting Comics Curmudgeon, who is attending as a special guest of lonely Jill Biden. Click to see the whole thing in all of its oversized, overwrought glory.
Noted stage demon “Michael Israel” just sent us an email announcing his performance of some atrocity at the Veterans’ Inaugural Ball! “Michael will help mark the historic event by performing his 6 foot by 4 foot portrait of the newly elected President Live in Concert in 7 minutes,” according to the bizarre spam we somehow [...]
Hooray, the demon water main that plagued Bethesda with rapids of inconvenience has been fixed. It is hilariously located on River Road, which is also now re-opened. [DC Examiner] More tragic news of journalism layoffs: The “U” has been fired from the sign atop the USA Today building. It will now blog for the Daily [...]
So Barack Obama, in the spirit of Christian charity and forgiveness, invited Pastor Rick Warren to deliver the invocation at his inaugural. (Rick Warren is the man who humiliated Barack Obama by forcing him to admit publicly that he is not a professional abortionist. Also Rick Warren hates the gays, who hate him back.) Now [...]
Rick Warren is a big shot evangelical preacher at a 600-trillion-person church in Southern California, meaning he’s also the puppetmaster behind American politics. You may remember his “Saddleback Forum” over the summer when he forced Obama and McCain — both of whose personal cell numbers he keeps — to babble about Jesus in his church, [...]
Here is a true story about poets: they are all a bunch of whining pussies, except for Jane Kenyon, Robert Frost, and the two guys who played the precogs in Minority Report. When JFK asked Robert Frost to read a poem at his swearing-in, Robert Frost wrote a poem specifically for the purpose and then [...]
ODDLY HILARIOUS HYPERBOLIC QUOTES FROM CITY OFFICIALS WHO ARE FREAKING OUT OVER INAUGURATION LOGISTICS, TUESDAY EDITION: “It is going to be the most challenging day in the history of Metro.” [WTOP]
The fiendishly clever President-elect will be taking a train to Washington the week before his inauguration because he caught a whiff of the shit-storm that greets any well-known figure who dares to ride an airplane into our nation’s capital. Barry said, “No thanks, I will just kick it on the train with my good friend [...]
