Surprise, surprise: The soviet-muslin Barack Obama has chosen his fancy tuxedo for inauguration day, and it’s coming from the socialist union workers at Hart Schaffner Marx. It will supposedly be Obama’s first new tuxedo in fifteen years. What, you don’t have your own tailored formal wear that you modestly replace every fifteen years? The happy haberdashery is already showing off by offering to make even humble slobs like yourself look “presidential,” if you have a great deal of money, which you don’t, because of the Depression. [Women's Wear Daily]

• Erstwhile athlete/web-logger Gilbert Arenas has been immortalized in wax, at a museum full of wax people. [DCist]
• If it snows on Inauguration Day, Barack Obama’s car will still get to the White House just fine, and you can still probably charge the person renting out your couch obscene amounts of money for the privilege of doing so. [WTOP]
• Mary Chapin Carpenter, a country musician who’s biggest qualification is that she apparently doesn’t even live in DC, will be the newest Washington Times columnist. [Fishbowl DC]
• Meet Dulles’ newest runway! You will probably be spending several utterly inexplicable hours sitting on it sometime this holiday season. [Washington Post]
• Here are some tips for getting Obama to hire you, as the only jobs left in America are in the White House and at the Washington Times, and one of them has just gone to Mary Chapin Carpenter. [Politico]

The January 20 four-million Obamatard march, otherwise known as “Inauguration Day,” will combine the fun of being stranded outside during an ice storm with the excitement of being killed by the homeless or maybe the Army as Barack Obama is safely sworn in at a secure, warm location with plenty of fancy food and cocktails. And because it’s all happening in Washington, D.C., you can bet the public services and coordination will be top-notch! MORE »