Tag Archives: inauguration

  Imperial Walker

Scott Walker Would Like All The Money For You To Pray With Him, Please

Hey, what do I know?
Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker got re-elected somehow — mandate of heaven, we guess — and he’s putting together plans for a big inaugural hootenanny. Now, in years past, inaugural events in Wisconsin used to also double as fundraisers for charities, like Boys and Girls Clubs or other worthy causes. But that was merely a tradition, and an apparently outmoded one, so with his 2011 inauguration, Walker turned the admission fees for inaugural events into a Scott Walker/Republican Party of Wisconsin fundraiser, which raised quite a bit of campaign cash and not a few eyebrows. So it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise that for 2015, he’s doing the same thing, raising money for a great Wisconsin charity: Scott Walker. Tell us more, Saul Newton of One Wisconsin Now: Read more on Scott Walker Would Like All The Money For You To Pray With Him, Please…
 

Veep Recap: Heavy is the Head

Selina has to repeat her oath, Jonah’s back in the West Wing, and we finally learn POTUS’ real name on the thrilling conclusion of the two-part season finale of “Veep.” We begin with some montage-y exposition to remind viewers that Selina is now President, including a fake cover of the Washington Post in which we finally, finally learn POTUS’ real name. It is Stuart Hughes, and we are still trying to puzzle out all the inside jokes contained on that fake newspaper front page. Stuart Hughes is a present-day English politician, as well as a well-regarded Canadian actor. We cannot figure out what the other four names at the top of the page mean, but two of them (Alex Boundy and Jake Holdsworth) belong to actors associated with the film Concrete Castles. Is there a larger significance here? We have literally no idea and are not going to waste any more time digging through the Google box. Back to the recap. Read more on Veep Recap: Heavy is the Head…
  Find The Goof And Raze It

Ghost Breitbart Celebrates MLK Day By Trashing ‘Roots’ & Linking To Stormfront

When former (Republican) senator Lamar Alexander quoted Alex Haley, the author of Roots, at the Inauguration yesterday, Breitbart-remnant writer John Nolte knew exactly what was called for! You see, Alexander was a close friend of Haley (despite being a Republican — weird, right?), and invoked the late writer while introducing Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor: “The late Alex Haley, the author of ‘Roots,’ lived his life by these six words: ‘Find the good and praise it.’ Today we praise the American tradition of transferring or reaffirming immense power as we inaugurate the president of the United States.” For Nolte, it was as if the Dick Signal was lighting up the clouds on a moonless night. The minute he heard “Find the good and praise it,” he rushed to the Interwebs of Justice and “tweeted out the fact that Haley’s seminal work was a fraud”: Read more on Ghost Breitbart Celebrates MLK Day By Trashing ‘Roots’ & Linking To Stormfront…
  Wonkette: 20% Nicer Today!

A Children’s Treasury Of Old Handsome Joe Biden Inauguration-Day Greatness, God Love Him

Here is a photo of Joe Biden getting out of his limousine, looking like a Boss (in point of fact, he is only the boss of the Senate). Sunglasses are a very good look for the VP, whose official Wonkette title is now Old Handsome Joe Biden, God Love Him. (By the end of his second term, Mr. Biden’s official Wonkette sobriquet will probably be as long as that of some WWII German rocket-launching tank thing.) And so, with minimal extraneous commentary, here is your gallery of Joe Biden Being Just So Freakin’ Joe Biden. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Old Handsome Joe Biden Inauguration-Day Greatness, God Love Him…
  Odds And Ends...Of America!

A Children’s Treasury Of Inauguration-Day Stupids

So we hear that there was some sort of widely-watched event today that did not involve sports! Above, we have Tweetosphere messages from three people who seem not to understand that everyone can see them saying stuff, and that retweets can be directed to @SecretService (as all of these were, for whatever good it does). Or maybe we could talk about the professional trolls at Fox & Friends, who discovered that today, the third Monday in January, is thought by some to be “the most depressing day of the year,” a story that we are certain has absolutely nothing to do with it also being Barack Obama’s second Inaugural. Really, they don’t say there’s a connection! It is too a legitimate news story, so they brought on a motivational speaker to help Fox viewers cheer the fuck up: Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Inauguration-Day Stupids…
  the enfattening of a nation

Wingnuts Furious: Hypocrite Obama Not Serving Sprouts With Side Of Sprouts For Inauguration Lunch

Inauguration scandal! Obama is eating lunch today, and it is not half a grapefruit, with water and a side of sprouts! From the Washington Times, covering Their Watergate: The ceremonial lunch President Obama and his former congressional colleagues are eating Monday tops out at 3,000 calories, according to a website that has tallied up the luxurious menu of lobster, bison and apple pie. HealthyFoodRecipe.net posted the full menu, complete with its calorie count, and said it was “unsatisfactory” to see such an unhealthy spread, given first lady Michelle Obama’s push for healthier eating. Unsatisfactory, Mr. President. Your inaugural luncheon is obviously used as the model of American lunches everywhere, and now everyone will think it is healthy to heat lobster, bison and apple pie every day. You might as well just hook up a lard IV to all patients receiving Obamacare. Read more on Wingnuts Furious: Hypocrite Obama Not Serving Sprouts With Side Of Sprouts For Inauguration Lunch…
  gather ye libtards

Live-Blogging Whatever Is Pre-Empting ‘The Price Is Right’ Today

Sorry, Barker’s Beauties and the teevee viewers who love them, looks like your ass got pre-empted again! Will Barack Hussein Obama’s tyrannies never end? (Spoiler: no!) The rest of you, who for some reason are NOT outraged that your usual morning television viewing has been replaced with unending tracking shots of Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter looking AMAZING, and Hillary looking sort of carelessly coiffed (which is our favorite Hillary, because she’s got shit to do that does not involve a wash and set), may gather here and begin imbibing your celebratory libtard speedballs (because you are a drug addict, or at least on welfare). Read more on Live-Blogging Whatever Is Pre-Empting ‘The Price Is Right’ Today…
  do not pass go

Plagiarizing Cast Of Glee To Perform At Inaugural Ball, Turn Nation Gay

Well this is a fine how do you do! The cast of Glee, which turns teenagers gay, will be performing at some innig inaugural balls alongside such nobodies as Brad Paisley and Alicia Keys, even though they stole their Baby Got Back arrangement from this guy, who stole it fair and square from Dynamite Hack! Let us examine the evidence. Read more on Plagiarizing Cast Of Glee To Perform At Inaugural Ball, Turn Nation Gay…
  how many chickens?

For Just $50,000 Mitt Romney Will Throw In An Invite To His (First) Inauguration

Presumptive Republican presidential nominee and man-shaped pile of hair gel Mitt Romney needs some more scratch, fellows, and so his surrogates are passing around a nifty Kickstarter-style menu of fabulous prizes you could get if you had 50,000 clams that for some weird reason you did not need for shelter, food, or four months worth of healthcare premiums. The campaign is asking people who are able to make a $50,000 contribution to do so today and become a “Founding Member” of Romney Victory. These donors will be invited to a special retreat with Governor Romney in late June in California and will have preferred status at the first Presidential Inaugural retreat as well as yet to be determined access at the Republican National Convention in Tampa in August. But wait! There’s more! Read more on For Just $50,000 Mitt Romney Will Throw In An Invite To His (First) Inauguration…
  metro section

Barry’s Next Inauguration Will Be BYOB

Hey if your Verizon phone and the people responsible for its maintenance have been terrorizing you logistically and emotionally, you just earned Ten Recession Dollars. [WTOP] Read more on Barry’s Next Inauguration Will Be BYOB… Read more on Barry’s Next Inauguration Will Be BYOB…
  but hurricane katrina was so funny!

Hilarious Racist Email Gets GOP Official Fired

One thing Republicans like to do is send racist shit to each other, whether funny black-face minstrel songs about the “magic negro” (the president) or funny newsletters about the watermelon and fried chicken certain black people (the president) always consume, or especially funny racist jokes about how black people are so lazy but they sho’ nuff gets to shufflin’ mighty quickly comes ta pass a colored (the president) becomes the president. Read more on Hilarious Racist Email Gets GOP Official Fired…
  hooray 4 america

Happy First Week of the Obama Administration!

What, exactly, has White House photographer Pete Souza captured in this shot? Maybe it’s after the last of the 10 dances at 10 inaugural balls. White tie, who even approved that? Anyway, here is your new president, handsome and smiling some 12 hours after he took the (first) oath of office. Read more on Happy First Week of the Obama Administration!…
  celebrity town

AMERICA’S NEW CAPITAL: “Like most everyone in D.C., I haven’t exactly been following the news since Tuesday. When you’re having sushi and champagne for breakfast, with Beyonce, you’re not really going to be checking up on Wolf Blitzer or Andrew Sullivan or whatever.” [AOL Political Machine] Read more on …