Tag: important programming announcements

All he needs are some tasty waves and a good attorney

Wonkette Buys Human Again, A Queer Gay Homosexual One For A Change

With now FIVE FULL-TIME STAFFERS, your Wonkette is ... we're not sure, but we think half as big as Twitchy now? So if you need a dumb, unclever, rightwing take on stupid tweets telling libtards SNAP and THEY ARE...
classic wonker

We’re Always Drunk In San Francisco: Your Wonkette Drinky Thing Great Northwest Great World Tour

Hey Wonkcats and kittens! A gentle reminder that we will be buying you drinks (or you will be buying us drinks? WHO CAN KNOW?) in San Francisco, this coming Thursday, just six little short days from today! We shall...
Please remain calm

BREAKING Wonkette Exclusive: As Of Now, Kaili Is In Control Here

This just in: Kaili Joy Gray has gone MAD with power and promoted herself to executive editor of Wonkette. (Yes, apparently that's something you can do. Who knew?) Bwahahahahahaha. What does this mean for you, dear readers? Pretty much nothing...

HappyNiceTimePeople Has Died. HappyNiceTimePeople Has Risen

Oh hey, 'member when we murdered our cute sweet little sister site, HappyNiceTimePeople.com, with a hammer in its cute little kitten head? Well some nice fella -- Rick, we guess? -- apparently didn't know what to do with all...

Hi! How About All Y’all Stop Yelling At Me About The Ads? A Message From Your Editrix

Hi, it's me, your Editrix! How are you? TERRIBLE? Are you TERRIBLE because we have soooo many ugly ads on this page, and they are ugly? Fuck dudes, that sucks, and I am sorry. NOW CAN YOU PLEASE STOP...

Oh Hey We Hired A Person Again

Ladies and gentlemen, wonkers and wonkarinas, we are very pleased to announce that we have hired your comrade ShyPixel to fix all the shit at this here computery site. He will fix it all, the plaguey performance issues, the...

How To Cancel Your Wonkette Subscription, And Other Important Answers To Terrible Questions

Today we at Wonkette received a very important question that was very stupidly sent to our tipline, to which we can't actually reply as it is anonymized, so we figured instead of responding to the asker, which we can't,...

Announcing The Wonkommittee, Which Is A Really Bad Name, Anyway, We Need You To Help Us Hire Some People

Hey fuckers. You may think that just because you "read our blog" and "send us money" and maybe "make the funny in the comments" that your work here is done. INCORRECT. Your work here is just beginning. Many of you, you...

Cancel All Your Friday Nights: MSNBC To Present ‘Scream At Stews With Alec Baldwin’

Ahem: Mediaite has learned from a senior source in the cable news industry with knowledge of MSNBC’s programming that actor Alec Baldwin is getting his own weekly show in MSNBC’s primetime lineup. According to our source, the so far untitled show...

Let’s Applaud Elizabeth Warren And John McCain For Their Bank Bill Before Lobbyists Murder It To Death

In a valiant effort to undo one of the regulatory fuckups that led to the 2007-08 financial crisis, a bipartisan group of senators has introduced a bill that would reinstate some of the provisions of the New Deal-era Glass-Steagall...

Rhythm And/Or Trucknutz Gonna Get You: Wonkette’s Miami Blast Tonight

Remember, Miami-area Wonkaloos, that tonight is your very own special edition of the Wonkette Orgy And World Tour! Be there or David Caruso will throw his sunglasses at a puppy, or something! YEEEAAAAAAHHH! Yr Editrix will be "buying scorpions" (we...

Wonkette Seeks to Make Out With Every Member of Miami Sound Machine This Weekend

So remember how we said we were NEVER THROWING ANOTHER PARTY AGAIN, EVER, and in fact did you notice that we still have not put up our pictures from our Norman, Dallas, and Austin Wonk Your Face Off Drinky...

Dan Savage Talks Dirty To Wonkette Live At 1 P.M. Eastern

And you still have OVER FOUR HOURS to buy his book and read at least part of it! That is what we did yesterday -- up to Chapter Seven, bitches! -- as did Doktor Zoom, when both of us...

Of Course We Will Be Live-Blogging The One Millionth Scott Brown-Elizabeth Warren Massachusetts Senate Debate

You know, in case Senator Staple-Crotch* decides to go Full Custer. (YOU NEVER GO FULL CUSTER!) So we will be here a few minutes before 7 p.m. Eastern time. You can watch the debate on C-Span! Now to the...