FOX News tracked down Bill Rice, some guy who up until yesterday had ten fingers and now he does not, all thanks to the public option. As it turns out, we all dodged a bullet with this guy who could, if he so desired, easily, easily stand to gain from this whole ordeal a reality show, a 15,000 profile in Vanity Fair (as told to Willow Palin and William Langewiesche), and the VP slot on the 2012 GOP ticket. Plus, BONUS common decency cred for telling the FOX anchor that having your hand eaten doesn’t make you a hero, it makes you a highly medicated guy with nine fingers. MORE »

Here, would you like to see Sean Hannity having an awkward chat with Sarah Palin somewhere outdoors in New York City? No? Fine. Just, if you want to, here it is, and fuck you very much, Fox, for not having an embed function on your WEB EXCLUSIVE VIDEOS. [Fox News]

Good Morning America interviewed the effectively-Arab known terrorist friend of Hussein Obama’s, Bill Ayers. The footage? Startling.

ABC Douche: You launched Obama’s political career in your bomb house, and then you were his best friend on like 80 socialist education boards. Why do you and Obama rape children? FOR FUN?

Bill Ayers: Everything you just said is wrong.

Repeat for eight minutes. [YouTube]