We liveblogged it here, and here, and here. [YouTube]

Hello people of the Western States. To keep things “pure,” your editor has not read the previous liveblogs, so this whole song-and-dance will be new. We missed John McCain on the Larry King Show,, too. But we saw Ron Paul on Rachel Maddow’s show! Let’s see what’s going on, and try to justify this weird three-zone liveblogging. MORE »

Well, that was a very fancy narrative television show Barack Obama produced! We’ll pick up 6 episodes, with an option for 13. (Would have been better if Meredith Grey had come out in the end with a little monologue about her fear of commitment and then had sex with Barack Obama on top of the Straight Talk Express, though.) So let’s turn to MSNBC now and watch Keith Olbermann masturbating into a pot holder. MORE »

Here’s Major League superstar Fred McGriff asking you to shutup for thirty minutes and practice your baseball drills while Barack Obama is talking on the teevee about poverty and murder. Then come back at 8:30 for baseball, where the Phillies will beat the Tunafish. Or you could stay here and watch us liveblog. Who will be the poorest person? All of them, forever. MORE »