Well this is surreal! What a waste of time and taxpayer money this Illinois Senate impeachment trial is, just rehashing comical two-month old quotes from the teevee news. Apparently they played the actual recordings of Blago’s famously profane Senate seat auction, though, and you can listen to them here. He has the voice of an angel. [Chicago Tribune]

Attorney Edward Genson has abruptly quit his role leading the Gov. Blago defense team two days before the idiot’s impeachment trial begins in the Illinois Senate. Instead of listing the standard “personal reasons” or a professional conflict of interest, Genson cites that JESUS CHRIST HOW DO YOU WORK WITH THIS IDIOT: “I never require a client to do what I say, but I do require them to at least listen.” MORE »

Dennis Kucinich has just one day left before George W. Bush leaves office, FOREVER. He has tried to impeach Bush, repeatedly, but so far it hasn’t “taken.” Will Kucinich finally be able to impeach this goon today as part of Barack Obama’s national day of service? Probably not! But Feral House has published a Memorial Document of his quest, called The 35 Articles of Impeachment and the Case for Prosecuting George W. Bush. It includes an essay explaining how you can impeach somebody even after they’ve left office. So … maybe George W. Bush will be pursued by impeachment’s foul and far-reaching taint even after he has fled beyond the reach of extradition, to Dallas. [Top of the Ticket]

Ha, so he’s impeached now. Bad move, state legislature of Illinois! Last time people tried to take away Blago’s powers because of obvious corruption, he made a national mockery of them! Blago will become King of Illinois and head of the Royal Cavalry, in a week. Let’s see how he plays the race card this time. (Thank you for the live feed, liberal MSNBC!) MORE »

RACISTS IMPEACH BLAGO: “SPRINGFIELD—In a historic vote, the Illinois House has impeached Gov. Rod Blagojevich, directing the Senate to put the state’s 40th chief executive on trial with the goal of removing him from office. The vote by the House was 114-1 and marks the first time in the state’s 190-year history that a governor has been impeached…” Well this is just terrible news, isn’t it. But what’s this now? “A spokesman for the governor said he won’t resign.” Hooray! [Chicago Breaking News]

The White House Christmas tree needs many ornaments, so Laura Bush asked some members of Congress to find local artists to make ornaments for the tree. One lady from Seattle, selected by Washington state Representative Jim McDermott, made an ornament that has teeny tiny letters on it chronicling McDermott’s efforts to impeach George W. Bush, a sad dunderhead who somehow survived eight whole years of the presidency. MORE »

Dennis Kucinich is about to start cold representin’ in the House of Representatives, in which he serves as a representative, in about a half hour, or maybe right now! Or maybe he already did this, earlier today. (We are in a Mexican restaurant having some margaritas and eggs right now, so we are out of C-SPAN range.) Anyway, Dennis is introducing a brand new Articles of Impeachment against George W. Bush, who is busily having a fistfight with the air in Japan right now. And then Dennis will have a press conference. Or he already did. Somebody please send us a SHORT YouTube clip, but only if Elizabeth is there, in a bikini. So hot out! [Dennis Kucinich]

Yesterday evening while you were all sitting around with your microwave dinners in your laps wondering what you were going to watch now that Dancing with the Stars is over, Dennis Kucinich was on the CSPAN reading articles of impeachment against President George W. Bush. In this exciting video, watch the congressman from Ohio talking about propaganda campaigns while his coworkers mill around behind him and talk quietly about which stripper bars they’ll be going to once old Talky McGee is done with his legislating on behalf of the American people. [YouTube]

Jesus, this clown. Our favorite sexually-harassing lover of women and Hawaiian pizza, Democratic Ohio Attorney General Marc Dann, resigned yesterday after the Democratic legislature introduced nine counts of impeachment. Quitter. [New York Times]

Former Republican Congressman Bob Barr, most famous for leading the impeachment proceedings against American legend Bill Clinton in the late 1990s, is very close to running for president! But not for Republican party president, so which president then? Why the Libertarian party president, of course! According to CNN, “Two sources familiar with Barr’s deliberations say it is their understanding he will make clear he is ready to seek the Libertarian nomination if there is evidence of significant support within the party.” Gravel/Barr ‘08! Paul/Paul ‘12! The Libertarian party is some real hot shit these days. [CNN]

A few years back, everybody was all, “Let’s impeach Bush & Cheney & Rumsfeld and try them for war crimes and execute them by firing squad, on Pay Per View.” And then our nation sort of got over it — what administration doesn’t launch a bunch of illegal wars — because the Democrats won Congress and the economy collapsed and now Americans are basically just looking around nervously for food and shelter, maybe under that bridge.

Well the good times are back: Dennis Kucinich is going to impeach George W. Bush on Monday! MORE »