DO NOT GIVE YOURSELF THE PIG-DEATH VIRUS ON PURPOSE: It may seem like an awesome idea to have a “party” where you invite somebody infected with the dread swine flu and then roll around on that person’s dirty Kleenexes, because why not, right? You get infected but then you get immunity! But who knows, you might die, too, so CDC officials are saying to lay off the swine flu parties already. [Breitbart]

After an exciting day of voting, the Senate has voted in favor of the new FISA surveillance bill, 69-28, and George Bush will now sign it into law in his secret masturbatorium. MORE »

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid announced last night that he was giving up his efforts to pass a so-called overhaul of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) bill before Christmas. The Administration’s wiretapping authority expires in February, but between Dodd’s supposed willingness to damage his chances at the Presidency to vote against it (you, know, do his actual job as a sitting Senator) and the recalcitrance of other Dems to provide blanket immunity to the phone companies for illegal cooperating in illegally tapping our phones, Reid just couldn’t get it done in time to drink some egg nog. So, they’ll come back in mid-January, dick around with it until the last possible second and then pass something that doesn’t do much to change the status quo, like usual. Aren’t we all glad we voted for a change in leadership last time? We got new faces but didn’t have to worry about a dizzying change in direction! [Washington Post]

Diplomatic immunity is possibly the greatest legal invention of all time. Just ask Tsuriel Raphael, who is leaving his post in El Salvador after the cops found him all tied up to sex-bondage devices — other than the straps and sex toys and gag ball in his mouth, he was naked. And very drunk.

We’ll continue this very important political story, after the jump.

MORE »