December 9, 2013
Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy That is sad, you guys. United States Senator John McCain is dead, murdered by these fat insane Arizonans for loving Messicans too much. “These people care for our babies,” he moaned, as the crowd descended upon him.
John Boehner, the weepy, drunky Speaker of the House who quite honestly would be your Wonkette’s favorite person in the world if he were a weepy drunky Dem instead of a scaredy little buttboy for Congress’s teabags (can you even imagine how many shot glasses we would sell with his weepy mug on them?), said [...]
Marco Rubio’s camp is firing back at Sen David Vitter (R-The Best Little Whorehouse In D.C.). After Vitter said Rubio was “nuts” for wanting to pass an immigration reform bill, a “source close to Rubio” sent an unsolicited e-mail to Politico: “David Vitter has done some nuttier things in his life.”
In an exclusive interview with NewsMax, because they are the only people who will talk to him without spitting in his hair-blanket, Donald Trump reveals that the GOP should not be as “mean spirited” going forward. “Republicans didn’t have anything going for them with respect to Latinos and with respect to Asians,” the billionaire developer [...]
What have the Communists at Think Progress found for the Internet this time?
Mitt Romney was lonely. A week after the election, and all anybody was laughing at was Karl Rove and Fox News and Dick Morris and Gallup, and people had kind of forgotten Mitt himself, the onetime standard-bearer of the GOP. Had he himself not shit the bed? Was he not the master of his own [...]
In these uncertain times, it is comforting to know some things never change. Like John Yoo, who you may remember as the author of the Torture Memos during the Bush Administration! Has he had a change of heart about helping the American government justify its use of torture on detainees captured in the course of [...]
A weak, vacillating politician — one not fit to be a leader — would express a politically unpalatable position in a private setting, but then retract it when it becomes public. A strong leader would explain that, while his words may have sounded harsh in context, the ideas he was trying to express were important, [...]
Well HI Arizona, what are you doing to be the greatest state in the union today? In one corner, we have Louisiana, which allows your child to learn about the Loch Ness monster in science class (except if your child is Islamic, and thus doesn’t deserve to learn about the Loch Ness monster), and in another [...]
Samuel Wurzelbacher emitted one of his periodic publicity-grunts the other day while campaigning in Prescott AZ for Republican state House candidate and pointing-guns-at-people enthusiast Lori Klein. Since the self-designated Raging Id of Conservative America found himself in Arizona, he apparently thought it a good location to say something inflamatory about Mexicans, so he said this: [...]
One of the nicer Independence Day traditions in this country is the swearing-in of new citizens by the President of the USA. Jaded though we may be in this modern age of instant worldwide communications, 24-hour news cycles, and flying robotic kittycat death drones, we nevertheless actually get a little misty-eyed at the idea that, [...]
The Supreme Court conducted a vile smear against the noble state of Arizona today by shooting down most of SB 1070, the law that restricts illegal Mexicans from existing. Our old pal Antonin Scalia, writing the dissenting opinion, simply didn’t care for his peers’ decision. As Scalia sees it, states = sovereign, so states can [...]
The big decision we’ve all been waiting for is finally in: “The Supreme Court ruled Monday that it is unconstitutional for states to require juveniles convicted of murder to be sentenced to life in prison without possibility of parole.” DOWN WITH THE COURT. Then what’s the point of waking up in the morning, now? “Monday’s [...]
Happy Friday, everyone! Isn’t it great when we as Americans are friends with gay people and immigrants and Saudi Arabia? We should throw a party and all hang out together! But shhh don’t invite Mitt. He’s too busy giving speeches in Michigan. Also, he’s lame. Obama’s big announcements about gay marriage and immigration continually make [...]
Michael “The Other One” Reagan has an eloquent column out today in “The Cagle Post” and it is so thoughtful and wise! Basically, Barack Nobama is Jerry Sandusky, child-raping Latinos, by changing immigration enforcement priorities for DHS and ICE. Let’s see: blah blah blah “Emperor Obama, Constitution, minions, bureaucrats, swatting pesky flies, Stalin-times-Idi Amin” … [...]