immigration
Hero Gov Jan Brewer Protects Arizona From Scourge Of DREAM Act Kids Getting Drivers Licenses
Well HI Arizona, what are you doing to be the greatest state in the union today? In one corner, we have Louisiana, which allows your child to learn about the Loch Ness monster in science class (except if your child is Islamic, and thus doesn’t deserve to learn about the Loch Ness monster), and in another [...]
‘Joe’ The ‘Plumber’ Will Shoot All Your Mexicans For You, Arizona
Samuel Wurzelbacher emitted one of his periodic publicity-grunts the other day while campaigning in Prescott AZ for Republican state House candidate and pointing-guns-at-people enthusiast Lori Klein. Since the self-designated Raging Id of Conservative America found himself in Arizona, he apparently thought it a good location to say something inflamatory about Mexicans, so he said this: [...]
Obama Outrageously Politicizes 4th Of July Naturalization Ceremony By Mentioning Immigration
One of the nicer Independence Day traditions in this country is the swearing-in of new citizens by the President of the USA. Jaded though we may be in this modern age of instant worldwide communications, 24-hour news cycles, and flying robotic kittycat death drones, we nevertheless actually get a little misty-eyed at the idea that, [...]
Scalia: If States Can Resrict Those Freed Slaves, Then Why Not Messicans?
The Supreme Court conducted a vile smear against the noble state of Arizona today by shooting down most of SB 1070, the law that restricts illegal Mexicans from existing. Our old pal Antonin Scalia, writing the dissenting opinion, simply didn’t care for his peers’ decision. As Scalia sees it, states = sovereign, so states can [...]
Supreme Court Wusses Out On Sending Kids To Jail For Life, And More
The big decision we’ve all been waiting for is finally in: “The Supreme Court ruled Monday that it is unconstitutional for states to require juveniles convicted of murder to be sentenced to life in prison without possibility of parole.” DOWN WITH THE COURT. Then what’s the point of waking up in the morning, now? “Monday’s [...]
Everybody Is Going Out To McDonald’s Except Mitt Romney
Happy Friday, everyone! Isn’t it great when we as Americans are friends with gay people and immigrants and Saudi Arabia? We should throw a party and all hang out together! But shhh don’t invite Mitt. He’s too busy giving speeches in Michigan. Also, he’s lame. Obama’s big announcements about gay marriage and immigration continually make [...]
Ronald Reagan’s Other Son Says New Immigration Order Baby-Rapes Latinos
Michael “The Other One” Reagan has an eloquent column out today in “The Cagle Post” and it is so thoughtful and wise! Basically, Barack Nobama is Jerry Sandusky, child-raping Latinos, by changing immigration enforcement priorities for DHS and ICE. Let’s see: blah blah blah “Emperor Obama, Constitution, minions, bureaucrats, swatting pesky flies, Stalin-times-Idi Amin” … [...]
Ha Ha, Leading Arizona Mexican-Hater Wingnut Kicked Out of Mexican Eateries
Top Arizona horse’s ass Russell Pearce, the former state Senator known for his awkward testicle jokes and his authorship of the state’s anti-immigration law that codified higher levels of skin pigmentation as a form of suspicious behavior, was rejected by two Mexican restaurants in Phoenix upon trying to hold a fundraiser at each to help [...]
Jeb Bush, Liberated By His Own Irrelevance, Says GOP Is ‘Short-Sighted’
Remember a very long time ago, during a Republican presidential debate last August (oh my god, TIME), when one of those moderator fellows asked the candidates whether they would reject a debt deal that required 10 dollars in spending cuts for every dollar in tax increases, and how everyone raised their hand to say that [...]
Steve King Talking Dirty In Public Again
America’s most vocal light bulb sex toy fetishist Rep. Steve King had a hot little pile of mouth poop to share with his constituents regarding his personal vision for doling out U.S. work visas to immigrants, by comparing these humans to dogs: “You want a good bird dog? You want one that’s going to be [...]
Wingnuts Debut Boot-Scootin’ English-Only Anthem For Antonin Scalia (Video!)
Looks like we missed a fiesta grande outside the Supreme Court yesterday, where everyone gathered to gaze in awe at Antonin Scalia as he called your abuelita a bandita. Most of those gathered, according to our spies on Twitter, were just huge Mexicans being a bunch of gangsters whenever they weren’t busy napping under sombreros [...]
Mexicans Getting The Hell Out Of Miserable United States
What was that question from the dumb Republican debates, about Mexicans… oh yes: How do you “turn off the magnet” that brings all those Mexitrons to the United States? Well, it appears we have our answer: make the United States really shitty. The Pew Hispanic Center has released a new report that shows “the net [...]
California Innovates New Immigrant-Hating Treehugger Fusion Wingnut
Are you tired of seeing immigrants, mostly the illegal ones, rolling around in their garish earth-raping automobiles on their way to and from their garish stucco McMansions filled with, we don’t know, probably a few car elevators even? Did you mainline enough angel dust at breakfast this morning to come to the startling conclusion that [...]
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