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Posts Tagged ‘immigration’

DHS

Emptying Our Jails of the Foreigns

Tuesday, January 15th, 2008

AP0703280289.jpgThe top US immigration enforcement lady is gearing up to send about 10% of America’s prison population packing this year on account of being criminally Mexican. Julie Meyers, who is an assistant secretary at DHS, has ramped up prison deportations from a puny 64,000 in 2006 to a still-puny 164,000 in 2007, and sees no need to stop there. Many of the foreigns in question lost their legal status as a result of the crimes they committed and have families here and whatnot, but they just should have thought of that before they went and did a bunch of crimes. After decades of overcrowding, there should now be plenty of room for hard-working American felons in this country’s various penal facilities. [New York Times]


CNN

Lou Dobbs, President of the United States

Monday, January 7th, 2008

POTUS DobbsWe forgot what Lou Dobbs was doing before he became a raving lunatic. We recall his orange hair, with Dobbs beneath it, hosting a show that was about economics or something. Now Dobbs, whose skin has gradually taken on the same light saber-esque glow as his coiffure, has become the of messiah of the anti-Mexican day-laborer movement. Since he’s on teevee and our country is filled with crazy people, Lou Dobbs may just run for president. MORE »


MITT ROMNEY

Romney Calls McCain Really REALLY Honorable, But Vaguely Mexican

Thursday, January 3rd, 2008


As the national press corps descends on the Iowa caucuses this week, Mormon presidential candidate Romney, Mittens, is leading a secret raid on the magical duchy of New Hampshire, where they are having a less retarded version of voting next week. Mitt received plenty of heat for attacking rival WALNUTS! in a NH ad last week, so this week he devotes like five more seconds towards calling McCain an “honorable man” before hurling pellets of rat shit at him. Also… this Bob Duffy character?


IMMIGRATION

Moneybomb Doing Wonders for Ron Paul’s Racism

Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008


“Terrorist nations,” he says in this flashy new ad. Ahh, finally, some REAL Republican pandering in the post-Tancredo era! Constitution to be saved in 3… 2… 1… [YouTube]


RUDY GIULIANI

9iu11iani Denying His Sanctuary Status

Friday, December 14th, 2007


In 9/11’s new ad, the former mayor of Sanctuary City, USA, is racist. That’s really all we have to say. Not like Tommy Tanks-racist, even slightly less racist thank Mitt “Sanctuary Lawn” Romney. Just usual racist.


ELECTIONS

Oh, That Crazy Huck-ster

Wednesday, December 12th, 2007

God, this guy looks fucking evil and creepy, right?Mike Huckabee added another star to his endorsement firmament by locking up Jim Gilchrist (and right out from under Tancredo’s trembling nose, too!). Jim is best (only) known for heading the Minuteman Project, which is a group of crazy anti-brown-people activists that sit in lawn chairs with binoculars watching the border and who would never, ever shoot any unarmed illegal immigrants even if they thought they could get away with it. Jim also warned that Congress providing “amnesty” to illegal immigrants might set off a (presumably armed) insurrection, which was totally not Montana militia-y at all. This is expected to help the Huck as he tries to prove that he hates brown people as much if not more than what all the candidates apparently believe is the average Republican primary voter. [NY Times]


REPUBLICANS

Tancredo Setting New Standards for Racism

Wednesday, December 5th, 2007

Tom Tancredo’s new ad, “Consequences,” is the most ignorant, demagogic, racist, poorly produced and effing hysterical 30-seconds of campaign footage ever. This is really happening! This man is allowed to participate in nationally televised debates! And the Congress thing too! [YouTube]


MITT ROMNEY

Mitt’s Fired Gardener Still Hearts Mitt

Wednesday, December 5th, 2007

5-6-9 and 10, Money won't buy you back the love that you had thenAs has now been widely reported, it turns out that Mitt (and his totally-not-gay son Taggart) continued to use Ricardo Saenz’s lawncare company this year after he promised that he wouldn’t hire any more illegal immigrants. Whoops! Sorry about that loss of business, Ricardo. Despite all that’s occurred, Saenz (a fellow Mormon) told the Boston Globe about Romney, “He’s a man of integrity. He’s a whole man. Morally and spiritually, I find him to be the one who can lead this country.” Wait, do all us non-godly people have to learn a new religious code if Mitt’s elected? Goddammit. [Boston Globe]


IMMIGRATION

How Is This Legal?

Monday, December 3rd, 2007

I loved this movie, I don't care if everyone thinks it was lame.Morusa Media announced last week that it has commitment from several (mostly Latino) participants to film six episodes of its new reality TV program “Who Wants to Marry a U.S. Citizen.” Because, truly, there’s nothing more legal/ disheartening to know that not only will women or men make asses of themselves for our entertainment for fame, but to keep from being deported as well.

MORE »


IRAQ

McCain, Lindsey Graham: Lovers?

Monday, November 26th, 2007

and by 'went to iraq' i mean 'had bum bum parties' John McCain’s latest e-mail came from… Senator Lindsey Graham! Apparently Graham joined his Mexican-loving colleague on his trip to Iraq for Thanksgiving, where the two wined and dined on some local fresh market fruit, said heya to the troops, maybe did each other a little bit. Too immature? Just look at that love letter! Oh my, these here boys and their Latino-spicy burrito love.


FRED THOMPSON

Fred Thompson Should Jump Off a Cliff or Something

Monday, November 19th, 2007

In Fred Thompson’s new campaign spot, he takes the time to put down his newspaper and talk Amerkan like ’bout teh illegals. As he folkily-dolkily opines, you may wonder whether Fred Thompson ever has met a minority in his life — or at least in that coffee shop thing. Anyway, sorry to interrupt, Fred! Feel free to go back to your newspaper.

Fred Thompson: No Amnesty [YouTube]