Tag Archives: immigration

  We Watch So You Don't Have To

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Some Votes Are More Equal Than Others

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented by Fartknocker
On this week’s installment of The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, presented by Fartknocker, Governor Quitterpants looks right into the camera and argues with herself for six minutes. Democracy is good, Palin says, and since the Republicans won in 2014, the will of the voters must be respected. In 2012, however, when Barack Obama became the first president since Eisenhower to win at least 50% of the national vote in successive elections — well, that didn’t count. Not in the same way, anyhow. The voters did not vote to make Barack Obama king in 2012; instead, they voted to make Republicans king in 2014. Read more on The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Some Votes Are More Equal Than Others…
  A Sojourner In A Strange Land. A Very Strange Land

Obama Said Words From The Bible, Is That Even Allowed?

He's stealing our worship words!
Newest Rightwing Butthurt: In his speech on immigration reform, Traitor Usurper Friend Of Lawbreakers Barack Hussein Obama, who never mentions Jesus on Easter or Christmas, actually referenced the Bible, and now that’s a terrible thing. As part of his address, Obama said, Read more on Obama Said Words From The Bible, Is That Even Allowed?…
  Listen to the man with an onion around his belt

John McCain Snarls At Young GOP Punks To Get Off His Lawn

Ugh, kids these days
Sure, you might think the whole Republican Party has gone round the bend and off the deep end about President Obama’s decision to destroy America (again!) with his unprecedented executive action on immigration. But no, that is A Illusion because a few young congressional newbies are making it look that way. So sayeth Sen. John Bitterpants McCain, always the voice of reason and rationality (unless there is a slight problem with The Economy, in which case drop everything and proceed immediately to crapping in your Depends, or unless someone somewhere isn’t currently being bombed). Read more on John McCain Snarls At Young GOP Punks To Get Off His Lawn…
  Joe Arpaio Me Oh My Oh

America’s Toughest Sheriff And Dumbest Lawyer Team Up To Sue Obama

A legitimate lawman extends his pinkie when showing his badge. Like Scud the Disposable Assassin would
In what promises to be a Very Important Legal Challenge to an out of control dictator, serial publicity whore Joe Arpaio, who’d rather play Border Patrol than enforce boring laws about robbery and sexual assault and stuff, has teamed up with failed revolutionary and terrible lawyer Larry Klayman to file a lawsuit against Barack Obama and his completely unconstitutional executive order on immigration. It may very well be the nation’s last best hope at preserving liberty, unless of course it gets thrown out by some biased Jewish judge. Or a mean lady judge. Read more on America’s Toughest Sheriff And Dumbest Lawyer Team Up To Sue Obama…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Remember When That ‘Reporter’ Yelled At Obama About Immigration? (Video)

We just love the woman leaning forward in disbelief
To kick off her recap of how Barack Obama shredded the Constitution for the 165th time, Rachel Maddow reminds us of that exciting moment in 2012 when Barry was announcing his Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) executive order, and while he was speaking, some moron who works at Tucker Carlson’s website started yelling at him. It was a pretty special moment that seems emblematic of the Spirit of the Age — or as our Jim Newell said at the time, “Pure bad faith, baby, that’s how we roll in the Greatest Country In The History Of The World these days.” Read more on Morning Maddow: Remember When That ‘Reporter’ Yelled At Obama About Immigration? (Video)…
  Let's watch America burn -- together!

Watch President Obama Invite All The Messicans To Destroy America

Actual photograph
President Obama is announcing his plans to unilaterally and unconstitutionally and unpresidentially make a few tweaks to our current immigration clustermess — just like Hitler, Stalin, Insert-your-favorite-dictator-of-choice did. Please note this is supposed to be a super-secret message to Latinos only, so if you’re not one of Them, stop watching immediately. This message is not intended for you. Read more on Watch President Obama Invite All The Messicans To Destroy America…
  We Don't Interrupt This Program...

Today’s Top Network Excuses For Not Running Obama’s Immigration Speech (1. He’s Black) Updated!

Now it's a few hundred, and still nothin' on.
Update/new development: Yr. Wonkette is psychic once again! (see end of post) Barry Bamz is going to single-handedly overthrow the rule of law tonight, but the teevee networks have decided not to carry the speech, because come on, it’s only a presidential speech, and those are lame. Or maybe they’re too partisan, according to some guy who writes a really overheated column at Politico: Read more on Today’s Top Network Excuses For Not Running Obama’s Immigration Speech (1. He’s Black) Updated!…
  Countdown To Imspeechment

A Children’s Treasury Of Preemptive Hissy Fits On Obama’s Immigration Speech

Real wrath of God type stuff
We hear that the president’s giving a speech tonight — not that the broadcast teevee networks will bother carrying it — and while the full details of the executive action aren’t out yet, Republicans know it’s pretty bad. Here are just a few of the Psychic Predictions of disaster they’re floating: Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Preemptive Hissy Fits On Obama’s Immigration Speech…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Here’s How A White Supremacist Set The GOP’s Immigration Policy (Video)

Amused Maddow is best Maddow
Wednesday’s Rachel Maddow Show begins with another of those rambly goofy stories that make you wonder whether a News Point is on the way, and then gets to the point and you say “Aha!” We won’t even summarize the first five minutes, because you deserve the fun of watching them play out with the fewest possible spoilers (also, we’re not sure where we’d start). Eventually, though, we find out how a near fistfight on a ski lift between a veteran Republican operative and an ardent white supremacist is a really good metaphor for the current relationship between the mainstream GOP and its wackaloon wing. Read more on Morning Maddow: Here’s How A White Supremacist Set The GOP’s Immigration Policy (Video)…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Remember How St. Reagan Got Impeached For Executive Order On Immigration? (Video)

The fax pun isn't integral to the story. But if Rachel were a wizard, her horse would be named Maddowfax.
Monday’s Rachel Maddow Show kicked off with one of those “where’s she going?” bits, about the odd technologically outmoded conversations between Pope Francis and his best American bud, Cardinal Seán O’Malley — they fax each other all the time, as a 60 Minutes profile detailed this week. Turns out, one of the things O’Malley is big on is immigration reform, and there’s the hook for the real focus of this segment: The Catholic Church didn’t like several provisions of Ronald Reagan’s 1986 immigration reform act, and when Congress couldn’t get the votes together to fix them, Reagan issued an executive order to change how the immigration laws were enforced. George H.W. Bush also issued executive orders to exempt some categories of people from deportation. In total, the tweaks allowed some 1.5 million people to stay in the country, without any approval from Congress. Read more on Morning Maddow: Remember How St. Reagan Got Impeached For Executive Order On Immigration? (Video)…
  Poutine Eating Surrender Monkey

BREAKING: Ted Cruz Rolls Over, Asks Mitch McConnell To Rub His Belly

yup, burn it
Hey, remember when Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Calgary) refused to commit to supporting Mitch McConnell as Majority Leader, right after McConnell engineered a takeover of the Senate? It’s a politically sensible position from a Tea Party contrarian dickhead senator, and surely it presaged the kind of reasonable, policy-based debate that has become Cruz’s calling card. Read more on BREAKING: Ted Cruz Rolls Over, Asks Mitch McConnell To Rub His Belly…
  Let's Roll Up Our Sleeves And Do Nothing

Sort-Of Democrat Joe Manchin Happy To Help Republicans Any Way He Can

Any questions?
Sen. Joe Manchin, the charming West Virginian who enjoys shooting pieces of paper and secretly wearing Republican undergarments, explained in an interview with Politico that he simply will not tolerate fellow Democrats who might try to obstruct the Republican legislative agenda. Quoth the nominal Democrat, Read more on Sort-Of Democrat Joe Manchin Happy To Help Republicans Any Way He Can…
  We Watch So You Don't Have To

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Why’s Obama Letting Immigrant Terrorists Ebola Us To Death?

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented by Fartknocker
In the last seven days, the Sarah Palin Channel has published exactly nine minutes and twenty-eight seconds of content. Three minutes of that total is “Behind the Scenes” reels, one of which centers on Sarah going to a barn in North Carolina last year (it was Billy Graham’s barn, and it was a very boring visit). That means Palin’s team produced about six minutes of content in the last week, so yes, this is probably the laziest political grift we’ve ever covered in our short time as Yr Wonket. But by the same token, it is also the most ruthlessly efficient. Read more on The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Why’s Obama Letting Immigrant Terrorists Ebola Us To Death?…
  Black-ish

GOP Finds Stock Photos To Be Their New Black Friends

Republicans have a race problem, and continue to do everything they can to make it worse. Most recently they launched the thoroughly mockable #ImARepublican campaign, which turns out to suck even harder than Rick Santorum at Iowa’s annual goat-blowing festival: Read more on GOP Finds Stock Photos To Be Their New Black Friends…
  clipbait

Stephen Colbert Outraged At Obama On Behalf Of Hispanish Community

Damn you Obama! as usual
On Monday’s Colbert Report, Stephen brought us up to speed on all the complicated ins and out of immigration reform: Tonight, the latest news on immigration reform. There, you’re all caught up. He then gave President Obama the comedic tongue-lashing he so richly deserves for stealing the Republican plan to delay immigration forever by perpetually promising to deal with it “next year.” Read more on Stephen Colbert Outraged At Obama On Behalf Of Hispanish Community…
  Yes We Can Kick The Can

Obama Delays Immigration Action, Marco Rubio Astonished That Politics Influenced Decision

Papers, please
After some not terribly subtle hints from Democrats in red states who’d rather not have to deal with one more claim of tyranny, Barack Obama announced this weekend that he was going to delay executive action on immigration until after the midterm elections. He had said that he would move by the end of the summer to enact a change, but between the enormous right-wing freakout over Central American children taking all our jobs and the House’s passage of a bill that would rescind a hold on deportation for young people brought to the US, Obama decided it was worth pissing off Latinos in hope of holding the Senate, maybe. Read more on Obama Delays Immigration Action, Marco Rubio Astonished That Politics Influenced Decision…
  clipbait

Daily Show Reporter Curiously Unafraid Of Terrifying Refugee Children (Video)

Liberal monster urges un-American agenda of 'comapssion' and 'caring'
The Daily Show sent new guy Michael Che to take on the border panic in this lovely segment that tries to understand why America is threatened to its very core by Central American 8-year-olds. As with a lot of the best Daily Show “reporting,” a lot of the heavy comedic lifting ends up being done by the clueless rightwing asshole Che interviews, “Minutemen” leader Jim Gilchrist, who’s more than happy to provide a pile of Know-Nothing nativist idiocy for Che to play off: Read more on Daily Show Reporter Curiously Unafraid Of Terrifying Refugee Children (Video)…
  On the count of three everyone panic

Oh Good, Now All The People Want To Put The Tiny Brown Babies In Baby Jail

Nothing to fear except EVERYTHING
File this under No One Could Have Predicted: While members of Congress are on summer vacation, holding town halls so they can pretend to give a damn about what their constituents have to say, it seems some of those constituents are a tad miffed about this whole BORDER CRISIS!!!!! situation and what exactly Congress plans to do about that. Read more on Oh Good, Now All The People Want To Put The Tiny Brown Babies In Baby Jail…
  Mark your calendars

Obama To Destroy America (Again) Within The Week, This Time With Messicans

Yep, this is the plan
Hide the children and the sheep, because the end of the world is coming again. And it is President Obama’s fault again. According to Hitler Fanboy Racist Piece of Filth Patrick J. Buchanan (“Pat” to his friends), we have exactly one week before the president burns the whole U.S. of A to the ground. Read more on Obama To Destroy America (Again) Within The Week, This Time With Messicans…
  As Ye Have Done It Unto One Of The Least Of These

Congratulations, Deport-The-Kids Patriots! Kids Returned To Honduras, Killed.

Sorry about that. America's full, you see.
Some inspiring news for the deport-everyone-immediately crowd today: According to a Los Angeles Times report, “at least five, and as many as 10, of the 42 children” who have been killed in criminal violence in Honduras since February had been deported from the United States, according to the manager of a city morgue in San Pedro Sula. Not that anyone could have seen that coming, except for the human rights workers who warned that it was likely to happen. Read more on Congratulations, Deport-The-Kids Patriots! Kids Returned To Honduras, Killed….