Tag Archives: immigrants

  Pretty talk

Bobby Jindal Happy To Call Brown People Names If He Can Be President

Bobby Jindal’s offical portrait. Yes, really. Louisiana Gov. Piyush “Bobby like the Brady Bunch” Jindal is the spittin’ image of racial transcendence. He doesn’t see race, even when he looks in the mirror, because he is a proud American, from America, raised by American immigrants who came to America, so that’s THAT. He is not Indian-American because he doesn’t believe in that sort of radical leftist divisive nonsense, and he’s “done with all this talk about hyphen-Americans.” And he’s so proud of his born-and-raised-right-here-in-America heritage that he’s willing to invoke laws that do not even exist to ensure that his state forever worships the Confederate traitors who declared war on the the United States and tried to leave it. Ah, patriotism. Read more on Bobby Jindal Happy To Call Brown People Names If He Can Be President…
  the drug-crimers too

All The Mexican Rapists Will Vote For Donald Trump, Says Noted Idiot Donald Trump

Donald Trump has the hottest O face of all the O faces, all the other O faces are weak.
Remember how Donald Trump says Mexican immigrants are druggy rapists from hell, but also that some of them are very nice? And remember how he hires undocumented immigrants to build his shitty-looking hotels for people with no taste? Well the first thing, according to Trump!, is true, but the second thing is a big lie, you big dumb stupid idiot. But none of that matters, because you know who loves Donald Trump so much they just can’t stand it? Those sweet, kind-hearted Mexican rapists and druggers. And if Trump gets the Republican nomination, he’s going to win ALL the Latinos, because they just won’t be able to help themselves. He said these idiot words to NBC News: Read more on All The Mexican Rapists Will Vote For Donald Trump, Says Noted Idiot Donald Trump…
  Yoogest Classiest Broad Brush Out There

Donald Trump Dimly Aware That Messicans Don’t Like Being Called Rapists And Murderers

Most accurate Trump image yet
Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com Donald Trump Isn’t backing off from his insistence that the borders are completely open and that most of those crossing are criminals, thugs, and thuggish criminals, but he is at least becoming vaguely aware that this stance may not be universally loved. On Fox & Friends Saturday, Trump took the opportunity to explain that his immigration views were vindicated because a man who’d been deported five times was charged with murder in San Francisco last week, which simply proves that illegal immigrants are bad news. Read more on Donald Trump Dimly Aware That Messicans Don’t Like Being Called Rapists And Murderers…
  that's not the only reason Rudy

Rudy Giuliani Could Be President Of 9/11 If He Wasn’t Gay Married To Immigrant Abortions

Hey. Remember 9/11?
Rudy Giuliani stopped by the Fox News derp emporium to talk about 9/11 violence in Baltimore, and host Neil Cavuto just wanted to know “Why not you?” for president of America, instead of all these other rinky dink has-beens? Well, the answer is simple: Rudy Giuliani WOULD be a great Republican president, except for how he loves gays, abortion and foreigns so much, which won’t fly with the wingnut GOP base: Read more on Rudy Giuliani Could Be President Of 9/11 If He Wasn’t Gay Married To Immigrant Abortions…
  If it sounds too good to be true

Nice Time! New York Gov To Save Manicurists From Your Spa, We Mean ‘Sweatshop’

Fancy ain't free
Do you live in New York and love getting your nails did, but for real cheap, like $10.50? Sure, it’s SUPER awesome that you can pay practically nothing for someone else to spend an hour scraping off your callouses and massaging your aching joints and painting your fingers all pretty, but on the other hand, according to a series of reports by the New York Times — and also math — that bargain price means the person beautifying you all up, often an undocumented immigrant with zero protections, is getting paid practically nothing, or even literally nothing, or even literally negative dollars, since she actually paid her boss to let her work there. Plus, also, they are working with hazardous chemicals 27 hours a day (for real, salon owners make them work pretty much every hour of the day, every day of the week), suffering from respiratory problems, higher risks of miscarriage, and god only knows what else because there has been little research on the effects of long-term exposure to the chemicals used in nail salons. So maybe, like, not so super awesome for them? Read more on Nice Time! New York Gov To Save Manicurists From Your Spa, We Mean ‘Sweatshop’…
  It happens to all guys seriously

Ben Carson Prematurely Ejaculates Presidential Announcement

Ben Carson is only doing this because people are BEGGING him to.
Dr. Ben Carson, who is very good at being a neurosurgeon but doesn’t seem to have other strengths, officially announces his candidacy to lose to Hillary Clinton in Detroit today, but whoops, guess he couldn’t keep the “secret” any longer, because he “leaked” the news to WHAM ABC 13 in Rochester on Sunday. In the interview, Carson sleepily says that he is “willing to be part of [that] equation,” presumably the equation required to save America from all the economic growth and healthcare wrought by evil Obama’s reign of terror. Therefore he will run for president! Hurray, is 2016 over yet? Read more on Ben Carson Prematurely Ejaculates Presidential Announcement…
  Reality Be Damned

Tennessee Republicans Solve Pressing Problem Of Muslim No-Go Zones. In Tennessee.

A Tennessee representative has introduced a bill to outlaw those Muslimy “no-go zones,” which you may remember are not actually real. Of course that doesn’t much matter, because never let reality get in the way of a good dog whistle. The bill was introduced by state Rep. Susan Lynn (R-Fox News), and defines a no-go zone as: Read more on Tennessee Republicans Solve Pressing Problem Of Muslim No-Go Zones. In Tennessee….
  Steve King sees what Steve King did there

Rep. Steve King Loves Americans From All Planets Except The Messican Ones

Bible's a pretty cool guy. eh saves aleins and doesn't afraid of anything
Oh, Rep. Steve King’s Iowa Cow-Tippers For Freedom convention has been going so well! The space between Donald Trump’s hair and his flag pin told the audience that he woulda beat that Barack Obama in 2012, and how he will beat everyone in 2016 because he’s got that year free on his schedule, and they clapped because they are stupid. Read more on Rep. Steve King Loves Americans From All Planets Except The Messican Ones…
  A Sojourner In A Strange Land. A Very Strange Land

Obama Said Words From The Bible, Is That Even Allowed?

He's stealing our worship words!
Newest Rightwing Butthurt: In his speech on immigration reform, Traitor Usurper Friend Of Lawbreakers Barack Hussein Obama, who never mentions Jesus on Easter or Christmas, actually referenced the Bible, and now that’s a terrible thing. As part of his address, Obama said, Read more on Obama Said Words From The Bible, Is That Even Allowed?…
  Core Principles

GOP Aims To Expand Base With Key Wealthy Overseas-Tax-Cheat Demographic

“We need to do a better job of appealing to women, minorities, and young people,” said every self-aware Republican after Mitt Romney and a bunch of other 2012 GOP candidates fed themselves feet first into the great wood-chipper of American Democracy. From “self-deport” to “binders full of women” to “who let the dogs out?”* with a big assist from “legitimate rape,” “very little tolerance” for students worried about their loans, voter suppression, and trans-vaginal ultrasounds (“legitimate rape”), Republicans running for office in 2012 alienated and mortified key constituencies in word and deed. But they learned their lesson! At the RNC’s winter meeting, the party “is expected to approve a resolution […] calling for repeal of an Obama administration law that is designed to crack down on offshore tax dodging,” reports Reuters. And probably something about women, minorities, and young people too, right? Sure, whatever. No. Read more on GOP Aims To Expand Base With Key Wealthy Overseas-Tax-Cheat Demographic…
  spittle flyin'

Anchor Baby Michelle Malkin So Mad About Immigrants For A Change

Anchor baby Michelle Malkin is flabbercensed, y’all, about the Associated Press changing its stylebook to avoid namecalling immigrants who don’t have all their paperwork in one sock put the final nail in the Lamestream Media’s coffin. Not only has the AP decided to stop calling these terrorvaders “illegal immigrants” (because, so mean!), but they’ve also dropped “undocumented immigrant,” which really burns Michelle’s bacon. Read more on Anchor Baby Michelle Malkin So Mad About Immigrants For A Change…
  takers and makers

Prepare For Your Newest Reason For Getting Laid Off, America: You Just Got Insourced!

Well, it’s finally happening to non-Poors too: high-income IT workers are now being replaced by Indian workers who will agree to work for less pay and no benefits. Welcome to the future, where the only jobs left will be upper upper management, service, and court jester crap (i.e., Louis C.K., Lady Gaga, Girltalk, etc). Read more on Prepare For Your Newest Reason For Getting Laid Off, America: You Just Got Insourced!…
  flotus files

Michelle Obama Invites Awesome Haitian Lady To SOTU FLOTUS Box

Your FLOTUS correspondent can smell an ABC Family original movie a mile away, and this one smells like some combination of Ruby Bridges, that documentary about the choir for elderly people, and scallions. It is the story of Desaline Victor. Who is Desaline Victor? “At age 102, it’s possible Desaline Victor is the oldest guest ever to attend a State of the Union address.” We are apparently not one hundred percent sure that she is the oldest, but we will run with it! Desaline Victor is also “an immigrant, former farm worker, and respected elder and minority from one of the poorest parts of South Florida.” Naturally, she will be sitting with First Lady Michelle Obama during the State of the Union as part of the all-important Second Term Agenda Item Dream Team. As both an immigrant and victim of Florida voting procedures, Victor brings age and experience to a guest box that will also include military families and victims of gun violence. Read more on Michelle Obama Invites Awesome Haitian Lady To SOTU FLOTUS Box…
  how a bill becomes a law

Vengeful God, Iowa Rep. Steve King, Will Smite Every Bill Obama Ever Signed Into Law

Oh hi Steve King (R-His Own Sphincter), what paranoid delusional BS are you blabbing about today? You will remember Steve King as the gentleman who advocated for the legality of animal cruelty because of the theoretical legality of a VERY detailed scenario (fantasy?) involving abducting a 13 year old girl from a swing set, raping her, taking her across state lines to give her an abortion to “hide the evidence,” transporting her back across state lines, and depositing her safely back at the swing set from whence she had been abducted. Now he has used his slippery grasp on “law” to consider the introduction of an amendment that would repeal everything Obama has signed into law. Everything! This is just retaliation for Obama being insufficiently cruel to undocumented immigrants who were brought to this country as children: Read more on Vengeful God, Iowa Rep. Steve King, Will Smite Every Bill Obama Ever Signed Into Law…
  congresswomen gone wild

Eagle Forum Pretty Sure Rape Victim Congresswoman Is The Real Rapist

What is this stupid Violence Against Women Act, and why do all these whining, lying women think it is up to “the law” to protect them from their meathead husbands’ flying fists? And while the Eagle Forum is wondering, why is some stupid congresslady bitching about how when she got raped, and her attacker was put on trial, she kept getting asked about, like, why she was a single mom, and why she was dressed so slutty, and didn’t she seduce her attacker by being a slutty-dressed single mom? Why wasn’t she on trial for raping her fine upstanding gentleman, by forcing him to rape her? Sorry, Joe Biden, but Eagle Forum has just CRUSHED your precious VAWA, with LOGIC, why don’t you GET SOME? Read more on Eagle Forum Pretty Sure Rape Victim Congresswoman Is The Real Rapist…
  everywhere around the world they're going from america

Immigrant Kids Are So Over This Place

Have you ever met an immigrant? They are so interesting, these people, with their foreign customs (cherry blossom festivals, moon worship, human sacrifice) and rituals (throwing salt over one shoulder for good luck, dancing for good luck, beating their wives for good luck). Liberals greatly enjoy prattling on about how immigrants and their children add a lot to our culture, sometimes even by joining our military industrial complex and fighting on behalf of our oil companies, or perhaps simply by getting into better schools than their fat, slovenly American-born counterparts. Read more on Immigrant Kids Are So Over This Place…