Wonkette

We’ve been wondering what’s up with this whole “Obama ‘08!” excitement, because the guy hasn’t actually done anything but win his first Senate race after Republican Jack Ryan had to drop out. (Ryan was caught trying to peddle his wife’s ass at Sex Clubs — you know, the Star Trek alien gal with the crazy tits.)

But shocking new information was delivered by owl this morning to Wonkette’s newsroom, and suddenly everything makes perfect sense.

Barack Obama is the … Anti Christ. Or antichrist, that’s a good way to spell it, too. More than you ever imagined, after the jump.

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There’s a whole lot of referencing of other websites referencing other websites and we still don’t have the allegedly gruesome details, so for now you can enjoy this press release from Weller’s house.gov site. Congressional pages, Dennis Hastert, Jerry Weller … what more do you want in a government web page?

But Jerry Weller losing his seat in the House is really the least of his worries right now. We’ll explain, after the jump.

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The Illinois Republican (at right, with Kitty Harris) is married to the lovely Zury Ríos Montt (aka Zury Ríos Sosa, aka Zury Rios-Montt de Weller), daughter of the former military dictator of Guatemala. He’s also scheduled (per various rumor mills) to be outed as the newest subject of our beloved Cocktober Surprise. MORE »

Former Illinois Gov. George Ryan was sentenced to 78 months in federal prison today.

Ryan, 72, was convicted in April of steering contracts and leases to his pals, including co-defendant Lawrence Warner, while taking gifts, vacations and cash in return. Ryan was also convicted of lying to FBI agents.

The Republican Party has lost another star. Good luck in the pokey, George. We suspect you’ll be treated well by your fellow inmates, as you were one of the few politicians who made an effort to get innocent men off Death Row. MORE »

* Attention focuses on the future of Rove, Card; outside names are floated as possible additions to the White House senior staff. [NYT]
* Supreme Court clarifies police powers to enter private homes; both partners must agree to search unless warrant is presented. The case shows “the strains behind the surface placidity and collegiality of the young Roberts court.” [WP, NYT, USAT]
* Today makes Bush the “longest-sitting president since Thomas Jefferson not to exercise his veto.” [USAT, USAT]
* Iraq war veteran edges out victory in Cook County, Illinois congressional race; results delayed due to problems with electronic voting machines. [WP]
* DeLay’s attorneys ask judges to make quick decisions to avoid interference with the midterm election. [WP, USAT]
* Former Rep. Randy Cunningham’s bribed goods will be auctioned today. [WP]
* Democratic comeback strategies hit the bookshelves. [WSJ]