illinois
Tinley Park IL – Tinley Park is a small community that has a way of making anyone who visits feel right at home. It’s a place that allows people to know one another, shake hands with an old friend while walking down the main road and gather nightly at local restaurants sporting a ‘come one, [...]
Well how about that, a freshman House Republican, Illinois’ Bob Dold, is going to sign his death wish this week. Not only does he plan “to introduce a bill Wednesday that would ensure Planned Parenthood’s access to federal funding,” but he’ll announce it at a press conference alongside Planned Parenthood. Total mindfuck. Does Dold walk [...]
Oh man, NATO has earned itself the ire of smartass AP writers — you know this must be bad! First sentence: “It seems NATO may also stand for Not All That Observant.” EASY NOW, easy. It turns out the video people at the NATO summit in Chicago don’t know important facts, like how Barack Obama [...]
Over the weekend in Wheeling, Illinois, to a raucous crowd of eight to nine undecided voters, Representative Joe Walsh, avid Tea Partier, said a very cordial thing about the President: he’s only in the position that he’s in so that we, America, could finally say that we aren’t racist (“One of my presidents is black”). [...]
Peoria, IL – Bishop Daniel Jenky was conducting his Sunday message to a small group of Catholic followers in his modest countryside church, nestled in Peoria, Illinois. Bishop Jenky really knows how to deliver a powerful message. And just as Jesus would have done, he compared President Barack Obama to Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin. [...]
Did you hear that there’s a political primary in Illinois tonight, even though Mitt Romney has pretty much mathematically locked up the nomination? This is a thing you will want to type about! Illinois is a fascinating state: There’s a big city and then some wingnuts out in the countryside, just as there in every [...]
Newt Gingrich went to an Illinois day dinner yesterday, to talk shit. The News Media no longer covers him, because whatever, but someone at the event fortunately had a camera phone to catch his latest formulations of wonder, bigness — massive hot air balloons of Seriousness. For example: “Democracy is simply a shadow event floating [...]
Corrupt former Illinois governor and human black hole of shame Rod Blagojevich is going away to federal prison tomorrow for fourteen years, for trying to sell Barack Obama’s old Senate seat. But why are we even telling you this, since every person in America has been carefully counting down the number of days to Blago’s [...]
In a pleasant twist, Godwin’s Law has been turned on its concern-trolling old head: Yes, GOP crank Arthur Jones is an actual Nazi! Jones is a terribly sane old white insurance salesman who likes to run around Lyons, Ill., denying the Holocaust, goosestepping with the Grand Old National Socialist Party while they march on Marquette [...]
Two brave Illinois GOP state legislators are so sick of Chicago’s gays and liberals and their gay liberal mayor and its gay $532 billion economy and its gay St. Patrick’s Day Parade that they have finally just proposed the obvious: wall the damn place off, and let everyone else in Illinois form their own state. [...]
Joe Walsh has a new Fox News pundit audition tape out! See, Joe has been carefully studying Roger Ailes’ stable of shrieky little porcupines over there during his constant talking head appearances on the channel. So here he is trying out a “full Bill O’Reilly” during a constituent meet-up, by screaming his bloody head off [...]
RUH-ROH. Can you spot it?! The wicked little Internet trolls are fiddling around on their favorite source of Official History, Wikipedia, to try to embarrass Senator Dick Durbin. We have to admit — it’s a little bit mysterious why anyone would want to pick on this rather harmless lefty Illinois Senator who usually ambles around [...]
One of the perks of elected local office should be that you can tell law enforcement to, eh look the other way from time to time when you need to straighten out your spouse, because, come on, right? Illinois GOP State Senator Suzi Schmidt locked her husband out of the house without a coat on [...]
Let us sum up teabagger barbie Joe Walsh’s congressional accomplishments to date, because it’s an easy one: nothing. Joe Walsh is mostly the “if serial deadbeat Christine O’Donnell were actually elected” alternate universe equivalent of someone who miraculously got a job in Congress for blathering shrill, hypocritical nonsense on Fox News all the time as though that [...]
