Tag: illinois

It’s Time To Save ‘Libraries’ From The Koch Brothers, All You Four-Eyes Pointy-Headed Smarties!

The Koch Brothers are going after public libraries now, because no one should have nice things they didn't personally buy.

Meet Your (Mostly Female, Minority, Democrat) New Kids On The Block: Your Last Senate Sunday!

Hope the cool kids will let them sit down in the cafeteria. Oh. Some of them ARE the cool kids.
They named it after a scary movie and everything

Christians Oppressed Again: School Won’t Let Them Do Gay Nightclub Shooting Haunted House

Chicago's school district cancelled a 'Christian' haunted house simply because it was tasteless and exploitative. Talk about missing the point.
I guess I put my foot in my mouth. Bummer you can't do that!

Sen. Mark Kirk ‘Jokes’ About Tammy Duckworth’s Ethnicity, Military Service. How Can He Lose Now?

What is it about Tammy Duckworth that makes her opponents so stupid?
"This is going to cost someone $5 million one day, Barry."

Wonkagenda: Thursday, September 29, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

First You Get The Sugar, Then You Get The Lobbyists, Then You Get The Cover-Ups

And you thought the tobacco industry had a monopoly on dirty tricks like this!
It starts with a single toke. Before you know it, you're unfreezing Iranian assets following international negotiations

Sen. Mark Kirk Says Iran Deal Makes Barack Obama A Drug Gangster Who Deals Drugs Like A Gangster

Sen. Mark Kirk says Barack Obama is the 'drug dealer in chief' for releasing frozen Iranian assets. He doesn't do metaphors very good.

Federal Judge Says Hobby Lobby Decision Means Companies Can Bash Trans Folks Now, Thanks Hobby Lobby!

Surprise, fundamentalists are pretty sure 'religious freedom' means they can openly discriminate against anybody they want! Told you so.
Also, there are some kickass coupons for Sofas & Quills

Wonkagenda: Monday, August 15, 2016

You get in here and read your morning news brief, RIGHT NOW!
This AR-15 has a dream, too

Hillary Clinton Gonna Ban Your Assault Weapons, Which Don’t Exist And Must Be Protected

Hillary Clinton has renewed her call for a federal ban on military-style weapons, and now we all get to argue forever over what an 'assault rifle' is and why everyone needs one, for freedom.
i guess we can regulate the shitbirds but i don't have to like it

DNC Chair Day Late And Dollar Short On Regulating Payday Lenders, Now Owes $300?

Democratic National Committee chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz missed the boat on regulating payday loans. Now the loan company is going to take her boat.
No actual CEOs up against the wall. This time.

Target Restroom Bombed, Police Unsure Whether It Was Trans Panic Or Your Mom

OH NO THEY ARE BOMBING THE TERLETS AT TERGET!
It was a troubled relationship from the start

Illinois Sen. Mark Kirk Is First Republican To Undorse Trump, Still Doomed In November

Illinois Sen. Mark Kirk has become the first Republican to formally withdraw his earlier statement that he would support Donald Trump. Other rats are still reportedly waiting for reports on the ship's buoyancy.
READ A BOOK!

Deleted Comments: Our Libraries Are Full Of Pedophiles And Our Schools Full Of Jews!

Our weekly visit to the deleted comments archive brings us a fine rant about the importance of never criticizing books that haven't been published yet.

New York Mayor Bill De Blasio Suggests Not Cramming Your Throat With Gay-Hatin’ Chick-Fil-A

New York Mayor Bill de Blasio suggests you boycott the homo-haters at Chick-Fil-A. Wingnuts, as always, outraged.