How Much Do You Want This Tasteful License Plate? So Much It’s ILLEGAL?
Monday, October 5th, 2009
Today is THE DAY, the first day of the new Supreme Court, starring Sonia Sotomayor. The first case is something about how long is too long to wait to call a lawyer after being arrested. Oh! Well! How long is too long for your Wonkette to wait to discuss the excitement that is the thing we just described? Is “forever o’clock” too long? Good! Anyway, here’s this comical other case, in which some “Choose Life Illinois, Inc.” DEMANDED that the Illinois Supreme Court force the state to sell and manufacture the conspicuously poorly designed license plates pictured right over there. MORE »











Illinois political legend and pyramid builder Roland Burris will not run for re-election in 2010, according to various Chicago street organizers. And, because he wasn’t elected in the first place, he will also not do that, run for election. This will be announced tomorrow at Michael Jackson’s Friday News-Dump Memorial Service, to be held deep within the bowels of
Not enough evidence, apparently: “Sangamon County State’s Attorney John Schmidt said that while some of Burris’ statements were vague, they wouldn’t support a perjury charge.” Illinois Senator Roland Burris, who at first appeared to be just another grandstanding egomaniacal doofus with a mausoleum fetish, has navigated the halls of the Senate — to say nothing of the vagaries of the Law — with catlike grace, and has made everyone from Harry Reid to Chris Matthews look like an asshole (maybe not so hard?). Anyway, three cheers for Roland Burris. [
OMG IT IS NEWS, TODAY, BUT NOT ABOUT TEA OR BAGS.
“obfuscator” sends word from the Baggers Convention in beautiful Springfield, Illinois, “on the very steps of the same capitol building which served as the the launchpad for Barry Hussein Nobama’s political career or was that William Ayers’ terrorfag breakfast nook? Lolwut. Enjoy. (There was also a guy wearing a sandwich board that simply said ‘BUY GUNS’. He was handing out dvds that ‘explain how the government is trying to kill us’. I was scared to photograph him oh well.)” Thank you obfuscator for nearly getting murdered by a gun nut!
EXCITING NEW PROFILE OF THAT CONGRESSMAN MEGHAN McCAIN
It was a nail-biter, folks! Illinois’ 5th District held a special election after Rahm Emanuel left his post to go whisper evil imprecations in the ear of our malleable and naive young king, Barack Obama. Two contenders emerged: Cook County Commissioner and known Democrat Mike Quigley, and the deranged Freeper Rosanna Pulido. Ms. Pulido put up a valiant fight, but without national Republican support could not prevail over the Democratic Machine, which decided to put Quigley over the top with oh like 70 percent of the vote. What is this, Russia? [
Early this morning, in 